Dad comforting son when he wakes

[YorkieDaddy]

Hi dads, mums, and carers!

I have a lovely 15mo son, who I love to bits. But he won't let me (dad) pick him up to comfort him at night if he is ill or teething (which is a lot). He always wants his mum in that situation. I've always spent a lot of time with him alone and my wife and I take it in turns to put him to bed, etc. so it's not that he's not as familiar with me. He lets me rub his back to comfort him at night all else being fine, but this is a problem for me. If my wife is away for work when he is ill or teething, I'm unable to comfort him when he wakes. He will cry the house down for literally hours, will push me away if I try to physically comfort him, and will go nuts if I pick him up. Does anyone have any advice for what I can do in this situation, please?

Does he see you more of a play mate and mum more of a cuddler? it might just be the difference in the way you interact with him.

Possibly! But it's definitely not due to lack of cuddling him (or trying to cuddle him). It's a really problem, though, at night because I can be left with a screaming child for hours without any means to sooth.

Keep trying, and keep trying different things. My son is like this with me - he spends a lot of time with my mother; she has provided childcare since he was 7 months old, and he's 3 1/2 now. Whenever he's ill or tired it's me he wants, although for smaller things he's willing to go to her.

Try different things if he's crying - try cuddling, try holding and swaying, don't limit yourself to just doing what works for your wife. Even try distracting him with a toy he loves or a favourite book. Teething is really rotten, especially when it impacts on sleep etc, but try to remain calm and soothing and just be there and keep the dentinox/calpol on hand.

Oh it's crap, isn't it? My DD was like this (I'm mum) for months and then at about 16 months it stopped literally over night. No idea why. While it was going on she was like a wild animal if her dad went in at night despite them having an amazing bond and it was so sad for all of us, especially her poor daddy. You have my sympathies and I hope it stops for you too soon.

When we had night issues we'd get up, go to the lounge, calpol, book and even tv (Zog!). 20/30 minutes relaxing together

That way they're out of bed and it's a change of mindset; then put then back to bed as normal.

I found this much noir effective that trying to settle them IN bed as I used to get stressed (just go to sleep!!)