I have struggled since ds turned 5 I think, he's just turned 7. The younger years were easy, free, loving, I felt connected and very much found D's easy to love. As he's got older i have found it really hard to manage
The need for constant attention, I find the things he's into boring etc and I frequently feel like I'm running on empty...he often seems to push the boundaries, purposefully, beyond what I can take without shouting/crying/staying something I then regret. I often cry in the evening with guilt...I wish patience and that sense of love was as easy to access as it once was...I also sometimes recoil from his desire for lots of kisses and physical affection from myself and from his baby sister, idk if that is a response to him being needy or perhaps something from my childhood which wasn't very affectionate. Now ds is really emotional, getting more volatile, basically harder work...so any advice...any podcast recommendations...book recommendations...words of wisdom...encouragement...identification? Thank you xxx