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Should I do this?

8 replies

namechangedasscared · 04/11/2019 11:41

My husband & I are due to go out for a few hours for the first time in years. My sister was going to have the younger 2 boys at hers but they'd have to sleep over (she didn't want to come to ours to babysit as she likes to have a couple of glasses of wine so wouldn't be able to drive home). I felt uncomfortable at the idea of them stopping there anyway if she was going to be drinking and then my youngest told me he really didn't want to sleep over there. Staying up til we get home is not an option as it's a school night due to when we could get the tickets. We will be an hour away, so probably out of the house for 4 hours.

Our boys are 14, 11 and 7 (youngest 2 are 2 months off their birthdays). The eldest is in school year 10 and is very responsible/mature for his age. Although he still makes mistakes the same as everyone does of course!

The youngest dotes on his big brother and has asked if he could babysit him. I spoke to each of them individually and all 3 are more than happy to stay at home just the 3 of them for the evening. The youngest has said he will do everything he's told (and he will I know that) and we will feed them before we leave. The middle son may not go to bed on time but that's not the end of the world - it's the youngest really that needs to be in bed on time.

Our neighbour 3 houses away has told me she's more than happy to be there if the kids need anything so there is an adult available in the event of a problem or emergency and all 3 kids are happy and comfortable going to get. Her husband works away, so she can't come round to babysit due to her own children.

I know I'll be spending the whole evening worrying & checking my phone - but part of me thinks it would be good to give my eldest a little more responsibility and I intend to pay him for it as a surprise after we get home as he's not expecting anything in return for it.

Do you think this situation would be ok - or do you think I should try to find someone who can come to ours? We are broke right now (tickets bought months ago as a birthday present to me before things got really bad) so not having to pay out a fortune for someone to come in when I think my son is capable of babysitting makes more sense to me. I know I was babysitting other people's kids at his age too.

Thanks in advance - I'm asking now to give us time to plan something else if needs be! My husband messed it up by getting tickets too late and missing the venue 15 mins away and on a Friday night and deciding to book without checking with me first the other venue, which I'd have said no to on a midweek night as I have health issues that will mean I will struggle to get up for work after a late night! Men eh?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Choufleur · 04/11/2019 12:01

Honestly I don't think a couple of glasses of wine is going to make her incapable of looking after the ages of children you have.

namechangedasscared · 04/11/2019 14:12

I was being kind when I said a couple of glasses / truthfully I've never known her not to be pissed up every evening. She's a functioning alcoholic.

OP posts:
Justkeeprollingalong · 04/11/2019 19:22

I'd rather leave them at home together in the circumstances you describe than with a functioning alcoholic, sister or not!

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MsChatterbox · 04/11/2019 19:33

I would think of some scenarios and quiz them on what they would do (fire etc). If they give satisfactory answers I may be tempted. But like you I would be panicking the whole time and checking my phone. Worst case scenarios like burglary would be running through my head!

MsChatterbox · 04/11/2019 19:34

Having said that 14 is a good age. I'm pretty sure I babysat at this age!

timetodance · 04/11/2019 19:37

If you're confident your eldest is responsible and confident with it (only you can answer that-I know my eldest is and will soon trust her to do the same for her brothers when she is 14!) then I would say it's fine. I was babysitting my cousins at that age and they have the safety net of your neighbour should they need it.
Be prepared your house will be a mess but other than that I'm sure they'd be fine!

AConvivialHost · 04/11/2019 19:38

I let my 14 year old DD babysit my 2 year old, so wouldn't have a problem with this, particularly as you have someone close in the case of an emergency.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 06/11/2019 23:09

Can sister do first hour sober then leave, video chat 30 mins after she’s gone to check in , and insist on half hourly text that all is well if kids are sensible and willing all should be ok

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