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OH sabotaging bedtime - I AM RAGING

32 replies

Gingerninja01 · 02/11/2019 16:55

DD is 2.5 and until a couple of months ago, would wake throughout the night EVERY NIGHT. Had finally started to sleep through the night and as such I am really strict on her not having a daytime nap (she dropped the nap ages ago and is fine, occasionally gets a bit whingey late afternoon but obviously not going to encourage a nap in the late afternoon as this would completely sabotage bedtime and she would be running round until literally 10pm)
Would anyone else feel absolute rage at OH for, whilst I went up to clean the bathroom and asked him to play with DD, I come back down to get some more bleach and he’s sitting watching the football with DD asleep on his chest. WHY WOULD HE DO THIS!!!!!
I am literally furious with him. He hasn’t done a bloody thing all day, I ask him to watch DD for 5mins and apparently that’s too much effort and he’d rather let her go to sleep until mummy’s back to look after her and then mummy can piss around until who knows what time tonight trying to get her to bed.
I am LIVID.
He’s done this before, and he knows it pisses me off. He also did nothing but moan about how little sleep he got while DD was still waking through the night, so he knows how important it is to ensure she’s in bed at a reasonable time etc
Am I overreacting or would anyone else be raging about this?

OP posts:
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MrsTerryPratchett · 02/11/2019 16:56

He puts her to bed and does the overnight.

MeadowHay · 02/11/2019 16:57

The single incident you describe wouldn't bother me particularly. However that isn't really why you are annoyed, is it? You're annoyed because he's a lazy, disrespectful arsehole that doesn't contribute equally to the household or to childrearing. And that is certainly something to be raging at. But you need to be thinking about the bigger picture and not this one incident, and thinking about the kind of life and relationship you want.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/11/2019 16:58

Nope not overreacting -would piss me off. Lots of men take the easy option, hence why when
my DH watches DD 2years old in the wk I often find her with a bottle ( which I’m trying to ban except for bedtime and instead offer her milk in a beaker) and a biscuit at 10am..”because she asked for them” Hmm

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AbbieLexie · 02/11/2019 16:58

@MrsTerryPratchettMrsTerryPratchett has the right advice.

IrregularCommentary · 02/11/2019 16:59

Surely bedtime/overnight wake ups have automatically become his responsibility now.

BIWI · 02/11/2019 16:59

Do you have a Travel Lodge or a Premier Inn near you? If so, book yourself a room and go and stay away tonight. Premier Inns often have fairly decent restaurants as well, so you can treat yourself to a nice meal and have a few drinks. Let him deal with the night wakings!

Readytogogogo · 02/11/2019 16:59

Of course you're not overacting, but why is he so useless? Have you talked to him about doing his fair share?

BIWI · 02/11/2019 17:00

Oh, and I'm not joking by the way.

Don't tell him what you're doing though - just pack your bag and leave. You can text him from the hotel to say where you are and that you won't be back until [x] time tomorrow.

GooseFeather · 02/11/2019 17:01

MrsTP got there before me. He does bedtime, keeps her entertained this evening, whatever.

MrsAJ27 · 02/11/2019 17:03

I totally agree with @BIWI

ThanosSavedMe · 02/11/2019 17:03

You are not over reacting. I agree with pp. get yourself off to a travelogue for the night and let him deal with over night

JasonPollack · 02/11/2019 17:05

Make him do bedtime. Make him. Go out.

LucileDuplessis · 02/11/2019 17:06

Yes, definitely his responsibility to put her to bed tonight.

Gingerninja01 · 02/11/2019 17:06

Good to know it’s not just me!
Honestly I’m so annoyed with him.
Also worth mentioning I’m expecting baby 2, have had insomnia since day 1, so am knackered and could really do without a late bedtime for DD.
Bloody arsehole.

OP posts:
sheshootssheimplores · 02/11/2019 17:07

If you can get past the rage (and I do understand it). From your daughters point of view she’s having a wonderful bonding experience with daddy, and that’s golden.

GleamInYourEyes · 02/11/2019 17:09

Super annoying.

He definitely needs to do bedtime.

Maybe go to the shops at about 7pm to get something vital? Get back at 8pm and take a long relaxing bath? Shut yourself in your room with a glass of wine until DD is asleep?

Span1elsRock · 02/11/2019 17:12

Don't enable him to get away with it. He's doing it because he knows he can and you'll pick up the slack.

In fact I'd come over with a bout of exhaustion and go shut yourself away in the bedroom with headphones on and let him crack on......

Soubriquet · 02/11/2019 17:13

Well he will have to do bedtime tonight then won’t he

blahblahblahblahhh · 02/11/2019 17:13

He sorts bedtime and overnight tonight - simple!

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 02/11/2019 17:14

Have you got a relative or friend nearby you could go and stay with tonight?

Janus · 02/11/2019 17:18

Why are you automatically saying you are tired and will now have to stay up - you should say right now you are going up to bed at 8pm and he must look after dd and put her to bed and do any night wakings. It will definitely make him not do this again.

Mickhasnotorso · 02/11/2019 17:18

You're getting really annoyed about something that hasn't happened yet.

unfathomablefathoms · 02/11/2019 17:19

What are you going to do about it?

Morgan12 · 02/11/2019 17:24

Is she still sleeping?
Can't you wake her?

Are you going to tell your DH it's his responsibility now?

Pringlesfortea · 02/11/2019 17:52

Wake her up ASAP