Toddler won't go back to sleep at 3am...help!

[Pantheon]

My dd (nearly 2) has suddenly taken to waking up around 3am and then not going back to sleep. We've tried water, calpol (teething) and then we head in and out of her room for a couple of hours trying to settle her (not leaving it very long in between). Just don't know what to try. She usually has one nap after lunch but has had to have very short naps around 9 (45 mins) as well recently just to get by. I don't want to do CIO but any other advice welcomed - thanks!

In exactly the same problem at the moment but we at least get to around 4.30-5am if we’re lucky. It seems to have come with the clocks changing or think we could be teething. Again needing an earlier nap during the day and putting him to bed early as we figure if he’s gonna be up early we may as well. We’ve tried putting him down later etc and none of it has worked. I don’t really have any advice but just to say i feel your pain right now!

Helps not to feel alone in this but sorry you're having trouble too! Hope it sorts itself out for us both soon

Gro clock. Best money I ever spent.
I introduced it when my DS was younger than your DD, and I thought he might be too young to get it but he understood very quickly.

How short are the intervals you're leaving when you go in and out of the room? Ideally you would leave for increasingly longer intervals (although I went up to 5 min and never left it longer than that).

Anyway with the gro clock we didn't find it was a battle, DS understood it was still night time and was therefore more accepting of the fact that we would leave him and come back when the "sunshine" appeared.

Thanks @NameChange30 I'll definitely get one. At the moment only leaving a minute or two as she gets really upset :(

Up until a few weeks ago we had a lot of trouble getting DS down to bed without being held and walked around the room both at bedtime and throughout the night if he woke sometimes up to 2 hours at its worst. We decided we had to crack this as he was getting far too heavy, we let him take his favourite car to bed and he managed to lay there happily playing until he fell asleep. We also put some lullaby music playing to help. There was no way I could do controlled crying etc so we did this and just sat next to his cot. Again though I’m sure you’ve tried most things.

We've had really tough phases with DS getting very upset, it's so hard. We found that gentle methods didn't work and he just wouldn't settle with us in the room so we had to do some controlled crying, my version of it was "light" compared to others as I didn't leave him for more than 5 mins and I did give cuddles to reassure and calm him down (whereas I think some people just pop head in door and say something then leave again). Anyway, you have to work out what you're comfortable with and what works for your child.

How does she go to sleep at bedtime? Does she sleep through with no other wakings until 3am? Before she started waking at 3am was she sleeping through from bedtime til morning?

Is she warm enough? That's the coldest part of the night. Try a vest under pyjamas?

If there is no light, she's warm enough then seriously just CIO!

I had this debate with my friend who is a GP and I was very anti CIO and she was very pro. She did it with her daughter at about 20 months and I did mine after her - honestly it was a miracle worker. Literally she cried a few mins and I of course explained I wasn't coming in and she had to sleep. Second night maybe 8 mins (she was a 4am waker) last night 3-4 mins then after that done. I'm pretty sure she's not damaged in anyway!

I put a couple of books or something in her cot for her to read and tell her she can play for a bit but she has to stay in bed.

We do a version of cry it out though if needed.

My DD is 3 now but every time she was teething we had this. She was wide awake, bright as a button. No pain, no crying, just awake. Happened for a week or so each time she was teething then went back to normal until next time. Went right up to her last teeth coming through and it's not happened again since. After trying loads of techniques, I ended up just giving her that couple of hours with me cuddled up in the single bed in her room, and she would go back to sleep eventually. Hope you find something that works for you!

I don't know why so many people go on about CIO. No sleep experts advocate CIO. Please tell me that when people say CIO they actually mean controlled crying

My DTs are nearly 2, and we had similar until we dropped the daytime nap. My DS needs more sleep than DD, (he’s always been the better sleeper) so will pop him down for naps every few days, but DD now goes all the way through without. Come 7pm and bedtime she’s more than ready, and they’ll chat for a couple of minutes before both falling asleep and going right through the night.

I’d suggest seeing if you can stop the nap, but maybe be prepared to bring bedtime forwards a little bit in case it’s needed?

What about bringing her in bed with you? I know it's different for different kids and she might think great it's party time, but she may also go back to sleep if she sees you doing it

Try doing just the one nap again, go out for the morning and power through till a 'normal' naptime. This is what I have to do once in a while. I think we need to cut down on nap time as well as we're getting early wake ups. When it was bad I brought my 2 year old into my bed at night (she was waking due to nightmares) and she soon got used to being in her own bed again when her sleep got back to normal.

And when we have a nighttime wakeups I sit next to her bed until she falls asleep again, if that doesn't work I give her a cuddle and a rock in her room, if that doesn't work then it's in our bed as I'm pregnant and will just fall asleep with her next to me if she's quiet. If I tried CIO (controlled crying) at this age she would just get out of bed, open her bedroom door and come into our room. We did do it when she was a baby though and it made her a fairly good sleeper after that.

CIO is not the same as controlled crying

My advice - it will improve. Don't fret. I have two boys 2y10m and 1y10m. The 2 year old got there eventually but we stressed. The one year old is going through a bad phase currently but until 14m would wake hourly. I didn't stress with him as I knew it would ultimately improve. It has - until the last few weeks he would sleep till 6.30. Currently it's 5am every morning but that'll change soon enough

Thanks everyone for your ideas and words of support - appreciate it! Lots to think about.

Last night was better - woke around 3 but went back to sleep with water, calpol and me staying in the room until she fell asleep. (Absolutely fine staying in her room for 15mins or so, but it was getting to the stage of me being in for an hour and her still not sleeping, hence me taking a minute out of the room sometimes to take a few deep breaths!) Woke for the day at 5.20 today. She was in a sleepsuit with sleeves as it is obviously getting cold now and I pushed dinner back slightly last night as worried she could be hungry. We'll see what tonight brings!

@specialblinds Unfortunately cosleeping would just be too exciting and result in jumping on the bed, pretending to be a monkey!

@NameChange30 usually does 7 - 5.30/6. Naps after lunch for about 1h30. No other wake ups before 3.

@MuchTooTired That's interesting about your twins' different sleep needs. I have a feeling dd will drop her nap before some of her more sleep-loving friends! Probably won't be long. Apparently, dh stopped napping quite early.