Feeling like a shit mum to toddler

[Gingerninja01]

DD is 2.5, I’m SAHM expecting no2.
OH often works long hours so isn’t at home to help out with dinner/bath/bed etc.
DD is honestly the most brilliant little girl and I am constantly watching her in absolute wonder. By bedtime (and often by about 9am) I feel completely frazzled & at my wits end and am desperate to for her to go to sleep so I can just have a minute to myself without the constant talking constant climbing on me constant accidental head butting me constant tripping me up, I know that sounds horrible like I don’t appreciate her at all, and I do often feel like a really grumpy miserable cow who doesn’t deserve her.
Our days are busy, we go out for daily activities usually in the morning (soft play, playground, toddler groups etc) and in the afternoon we tend to play at home (to avoid danger naps in the car) before starting dinner and bed routine etc
She’s only recently started to sleep through the night (at 2.5 years!!!) and before this was waking regularly every single night. It’s great she’s now actually sleeping but I still don’t sleep any better with trips to the loo throughout the night etc, so I am always tired and grumpy and then feeling guilty for being this way.
House work wise, everyone’s clothes are clean the hoovers put round and dinners on the table but there’s never much scrubbing going on which I feel gross about.
No idea how I will cope with 2.
constantly feel like I’m about to blow at the moment.
Is this normal? I guess I just want to know I’m not a terrible mum and that other people feel like this regularly too.

Nights like tonight where she’s refusing to just go to sleep I honestly feel like I’m going to absolutely lose my rag

I've felt like this all day with my two (age 3 and 6).

I understand he might not be able to do dinner/bed/bath on working days but he does it at the weekend surely? And if not, why not?

How long till DD starts nursery? That should give you some respite.

I’m worried that she picks up on how I’m feeling, how can she not when I’m always snappy, shouting or generally completely exasperated
Poor kid probably thinks I hate her and I love her desperately, I’m just exhausted and literally do not get a bloody minute to myself ever

No he doesn’t do it at the weekend, to be honest it’s not so much the bath and bed thing that I find hard it’s just being so tired at the moment and literally no breaks (doesn’t nap in the day any more so it’s full on from say 5.30-6am until bedtime)
She doesn’t start nursery until September!

Sounds like you need a day to yourself to regroup. Is anyone available to babysit? I didn't have a day off until the start of this month (son is 2) where I realised wait I NEED time to myself! Now monday afternoons I go to town by myself and in the evening I go to a salsa class. I am pregnant too so can relate with the tiredness... I have to drag myself to this class but have a blast whilst there! Is there something you can do for yourself?

Also my son doesn't nap either so I can relate with that too!! I've recently taken to lying in bed with him for a "chill out" I.e. He watches videos on my phone whilst I close my eyes. I do this after lunch for about 40 mins. Means I get a break and a lie down during the day!

It was normal for me, and you have all my sympathy and understanding.

There’s nothing quite as exhausting as a bright two year old girl toddler. 80 billion questions an hour, And there’s nothing you can say that didn’t get followed up with a “ why?”.

Look at sleep apps, there’s one called yoga Nidra that I’ve found really helpful. My whole life improved when my sleep did.

But the thing that was most remarkable was that something really blossomed for me when the second one was born. I don’t know why but everything made sense once he was born and the intensity of the one to one relationship with my daughter was improved a lot.

I’m not being very articulate here, I have a house full of 12 Year olds who are sugar crazed from trick or treating. But please know that how you feel is normal, you definitely do deserve your dd. Put some work into sorting your sleep, research good sleep tips and even if it feels pointless, give it a try.

And most of all don’t give yourself a hard time.

You are fine and you are functioning fine for pregnancy. You'll manage with two too... you'll have (slightly) more energy when you aren't pregnant...

I could have written your post: guilt seems to be an intrinsic part of motherhood, but it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job. You’re keeping the house going, doing almost all the parenting, getting out and keeping her stimulated, and growing another human inside your own body. Amazing.

If she sometimes sees you being grumpy and exhausted, that’s fine. She’s learning that mummy is human, and doesn’t always have all the energy and answers and patience in the world. It’s a valuable lesson for children I think!

When my second came along he just slotted right into the routine and lifestyle that me and my 2yr old DD already had. I was astonished at how much simpler it was second time around. You’ll do an amazing job, because you already know how to do it all.

You’re not alone in feeling frazzled and grumpy, and you’re a good mother. And a human. Cut yourself as much slack as possible, ‘good enough is good enough’.

Oh I feel exactly like this (except I'm not pregnant)!

DH told me last night that I'm too shouty and have too little patience with our DD, which is true and I know I need to work on it, but it just made me feel awful .

I work 2-3 days a week and it still feels intense so bravo to you doing it full time and with another on the way!!

Thankyou for all your replies, I just feel ridiculous as I’m lucky to be able to stay at home at the moment and instead of appreciating that I’m constantly stressing and losing patience, DD really is the loveliest brightest little girl (to the point where I genuinely wonder how on earth me and OH made such a brilliant kid) and I feel terrible for always being knackered grumpy mummy! Must try harder!
Thankyou again for your replies and for reassuring me it’s not just me!