Why won't my child eat?

[duckme]

My son is nearly two. He has always eaten well and has been on the larger line on the weight graph in the health visitors book! However, over the past couple of weeks this has all changed. The only meal he will eat without complaint is his weetabix in a morning. Lunch and dinner are generally a challenge. The odd occasion will see him eat, if he's been doing something really energetic for hours for example, but the rest of the time he flat out refuses.
We don't offer any replacements, at mealtimes, if he refuses the food. But I'm worried that he's not eating enough. He is definitely more likely to eat the fun foods like chicken nuggets and chips, but even that isn't a guarantee. He loves raisins, bananas and oranges and I'm convinced he'd happily eat those for every meal.

I posted before I had finished

Should I try to be more forceful in making him eat, not letting him leave the table until he eats some of his meal for example? Or do I listen to him when he says he has had enough, even if he has eaten nothing, and not offer anything else?
Please tell me this is just a phase? I don't remember it with my other two children!

Oh man, came here to post similar regarding my 18 month old (will start a thread as slightly different) so you have my sympathies! Hope some feeding gurus come along!

Could you pop a cold.. or it’ll be ok cold.. buffet style plate down on a table n let him run around doing what he fancies while having a peck at what’s on offer rather than a strict meal time with a set offer. Maybe throw some of the he’ll definitely eat that bits on it too.

It's easy for me to say but I wouldn't overly worry. Some children are just not big eaters, my 2nd child is far less bothered about food than my first. Also, I've heard that toddlers don't eat as much as their growth slows down a bit. They simply don't need as many calories. I'd just keep doing what you're doing.

Read “My Child Won’t Eat”.

It won’t make your child eat, but it will reframe your expectations!

Should I try to be more forceful in making him eat, not letting him leave the table until he eats some of his meal for example?

No, this may create issues for him around food. Keep doing what you're doing, try to offer him something you know be currently likes at every meal. Do you think he might be going through a bit of a beige phase?

Keep an eye on his weight and seek medical advice if he loses weight (not necessarily the same thing as dropping centiles). Try not to worry too much- as far as I'm aware no toddler has ever wilfully starved themselves to death.

It's so frustrating though! We were out this afternoon so I bought him a sausage roll for lunch. He wasn't overly interested and ate about 2/3. He had a couple of the little snack boxes of raisins. This was about 11.30am. We had dinner at about 5.30pm which was home made spaghetti bolognese. He had about 3 spoonfuls, after throwing about 4 handfuls on the floor. I honestly thought he would be starving as he hadn't eaten for such a long time. He wasn't bothered so I took it away. But it's getting to a point where I dread mealtimes now!

Do you offer snacks too? Given that he's only eating a little at each opportunity, maybe increase the number of opportunities throughout the day?

It could be that he has discovered an area of his life over which he has some control. It could be attention seeking. It could be that he is bored sitting at the table. It could be all sorts of things.
I would try reducing his portion sizes to tiny and offering a snack (or tiny helping part 2) a little later. Little and often with no battles is more effective than big battles 3 times a day.

@RolytheRhino he had a couple of snack boxes of raisins but nothing else. I try not to offer anything in the afternoon incase he fills up on this and then leaves his meal. Though since he's leaving his meals anyway, perhaps I should offer a snack in the afternoon too.

I would if I were you- they have small stomachs at this age which aren't terribly compatible with eating three large portions. You may find that five smaller meals may suit him better. The NHS says:
'Once your baby is 1 year old, you can introduce 2 healthy snacks in between meals:

vegetables such as broccoli florets, carrot sticks or cucumber sticks
slices of fruit, such as apple, banana or soft, ripe peeled pear or peach
pasteurised, plain, unsweetened full-fat yoghurt
toast, pitta or chapatti fingers
unsalted and unsweetened rice or corn cakes
small cubes of cheese'

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/childrens-meal-ideas/

Don’t force him to eat if he says he’s not hungry. This will cause issues.

Some kids eat more than others, all kids go through phases of eating less (especially when they reach 2 and their growth massively slows down). It all normal and he’ll start eating more soon.

If I were you I would make sure the snacks are healthy and balanced. Instead of raisins give cold meat, carrot sticks and hummus, fresh fruit, cheese etc.

As long as what he’s eaten covers the main food groups I wouldn’t worry too much about quantities.

Firstly from what you describe your DS IS eating. If he wants to self regulate his food and reduce his portions, then it would be bizarre for you to insist he eats more.

If he really stops eating there would be a number of causes. Sometimes there is a physical cause like reflux, sometimes it’s the result of trauma, eg. fear after a chocking incident, sometimes it’s a sensory issue.

If there are no other signs of ill health, e.g. lack of energy, then I would leave him to self regulate.

he had a couple of snack boxes of raisins

Nature’s wine gums - almost pure sugar. There are much better snacks you can give.

A 2 year old won't deliberately starve himself. Offer meals but don't make a fuss. If he's not hungry take it away. I would offer a small healthy snack mid morning and mid afternoon - definitely NOT raisins! The odd box won't hurt but not 2 at a time and not regularly.

He's only one. He's eaten his breakfast, 2/3 of a sausage roll, 2 boxes of raisins and 3 spoons of spaghetti bolognese. It's not brilliant but it's not that bad either.