Feeling drained

[Danascully2]

I have a 2 yr old and 5 yr old. Both are doing well and good sleepers so I know life could be more difficult but I'm just really struggling with how to fit everything in. 2 yr old is in a bit of childcare term time only while I do bits of work for two different employers, mostly from home. I still do all school drop offs and pick ups except one morning a week where I go to work early and husband drops off (I still organise kids clothes and packed lunch). I only make a very small profit over childcare but need to work for my sanity. My issue is really how on earth I fit in all the housework and general life admin? I feel that I spend every evening running around making packed lunches and doing laundry and washing up. The house is still dirty and untidy because it gets to 9.30pm and I just can't face any more jobs. When I say the house is dirty I'm definitely not one of these people who thinks it's dirty because there is one crumb on the floor, I'm talking mouldy bathroom for example. But I just don't see when I would manage to scrub the mould off the walls on top of everything else unless I stay up later in the evenings. Husband works long hours (never there at bedtime for example) so I accept it's mostly my responsibility to sort the kids and the house, but I would quite like a break sometimes!! Does everyone feel like this with kids this age?? There just seems like a never-ending stream of jobs to do, random stuff like pay the window cleaner online and buy Xmas cards. When I'm with the kids I feel like I'm constantly telling them I can't read the book/play that game because I need to cook/wash up/ empty the washing machine. Can't throw money at it, at least until we're into funded childcare, so I guess it's about being more organised.... Has anyone felt like this and did it get better?

I think you have to accept to a large extent that this is how it’s going to be for a few more years at least. But I do think there are some things you can do to make life a bit easier. I have 3 - 4.5, 3 and 1 and so can sympathize. I go back to work in the new year and don’t know how we will manage! My husband does his fair share but I do feel exhausted from having to be the operating system behind our life with kids - the one with a million things in her head.

I would give a long hard think about what things really need doing - you can’t do everything and you’re probably the only person expecting you to do everything. Cut yourself some slack. Christmas cards for example- you really do not need to send them. If it’s something you love doing, then go ahead. But if you’re just doing it because you feel you have to, cross it off your list and don’t bother. Seriously.

With cleaning, would it help to get somebody in as a one off just to do a deep clean. Maybe then it would be easier to keep on top of. The are lots of resources online with cleaning schedules like TOMM which lots of people rate.

I find it helps to have a few routines to streamline things too. Can you prep bits for several packed lunches at the beginning of the week. I make packed lunches when I’m clearing away dinner when everything is out. I also fold laundry while the kids are playing around me- you can play with them at the same time.

I’m also trying to get the kids to help. At the beginning it takes longer but with time it will be a help and they shouldn’t grow up thinking I’m their slave. So the 4 and nearly 3 yo put their shoes, coats and bags away when they come in. The 4 yo helps me fold and put away the laundry (I would love it to be nicely Kon Maried but I’ve learnt I’ll go crazy if I don’t lower my standards - another important tip!) They also both carry their plates to the kitchen after meals. It’s all small stuff but every little helps. I’m also trying to get them to tidy away their toys after dinner and before bed so I don’t come down to a bomb site when they’re sleeping.

I was also always saying I couldn’t do stuff with them as I had to do X, Y or Z but I’ve now made a conscious decision to say yes whenever I can. The washing up can always wait for five more minutes!

You sound like you're doing brilliantly! Your tips all make total sense, I do my best to get the 5 year old to help but 2 year old is a bit young. You're right though, I need to persevere so that they are pulling their weight.