Am I expecting too much from my 2 year old?

[Clockticktock]

I have a DS 2 years old and a baby, this morning the baby was on the floor as I had just changed his nappy.

DS then rolls a pumpkin to the baby, I think oh that's okay. Then he picked it up and dropped it on the babys chest.

I obviously run over, push DS out the way, shouted no and pick the baby up and go upstairs to check him over.

Baby is okay thank god so DS is screaming on the floor for a cuddle as hes upset hes in trouble.

I asked if hes ready to say sorry to the baby and he said no. I explained we need to be nice to him/pumpkins heavy/ could have hurt him etc. But still nothing so I tell him we're going upstairs and to come up when hes ready to say sorry.

So we've been having a stand off for over an hour, I left him to scream downstairs for a while then went down and asked if he was ready to say sorry now. Still no. Explained we cant play til he says sorry. I've now put him in his room crying and screaming with the stair gate on til he can say sorry to the baby.

But I not sure what my next move is now, am I being cruel? Hes usually good saying sorry to the baby but this time nothing. I'm so upset he could have actually seriously hurt him which is why I'm continuing with it I think.

But what if he never says it? Really dont know what to do but it's been over an hour now. Anyone have any ideas?

I don’t get the sorry thing. He did something impulsive, not wrong.
It’s hard you breed eyes in the back of your head, but they need watching.

I’ve not read any updates but at this point I’d just cuddle him, and remind him to be gentle with people.

Glad you've gone to him now, poor little thing.

Your response was rather cruel.

I was literally just talking to my friend about something similar yesterday, about what to tell them off for, what they understand etc. Mine is 1.5yrs, hers is 2.5, and she said she remembers at 2, toddler would scream and cry if she told him off (like mine does now), and doesn't really understand. But now, just 6 months on, he understands, doesn't get upset and says sorry. So much changes so quickly, it's so hard to keep up with what's going on in their little minds and how they develop and change so quickly

Just seek your updates.
Don’t Beat yourself up, you have two under two. No mean feat.

The fact that you want to get it right ( and not just be right) is great, and your child will experience that as love.

This is your fault. Why is there a pumpkin within picking up distance of the 2 year old, and when he rolled it to the baby why didn’t you tell him to be careful as it could hurt?

Yes you’re expecting too much, but I suspect that you know that and you don’t need another one of us berating your for it. Especially not someone who is guilty of the exact same type of reaction. I agree with what a PP said upthread that toddlers suddenly seem so big and grown up when you bring a new baby home but they’re still really only babies. My daughter will be 2 in Feb and her brother is almost 3 months old and she just looks and acts so much older than him (obviously!) that it’s sometimes really hard to remember that she isn’t doing anything to be “naughty” or misbehaving intentionally, she’s just being the same as she always has but now there’s a smaller, more breakable person in the house who can’t fend her off like others are able to. It’s really hard OP and I totally sympathise with you. You will get there and you will eventually get really good at avoiding the situations before they happen!