Hi :)
To give some context , me and my husband have an 8 month old daughter . She is our first born and we are winging this parenting thing !! (Isn't everyone?!!)
Before being a mum I worked for a charity within its membership service and it was very busy and chaotic . I would meal plan for me and my husband for the week and I would often enjoy cooking us nice healthy meals and making a nice home.
My husband works very very hard and is out from 5am-6pm and once a week he then works in the evenings too. I am at home still and unlikely to go back to work , and if I do it will just be for very part time hours .
My daughter is very time sensitive and won't nap unless I am actively walking or driving or sitting with her - this takes up large chunks of time but I am just going with it now as it's the easiest least stressful thing to do.
However , I then struggle to do anything when she is awake. I can't be bothered to think about anything - food , keeping house etc - I feel pretty brain dead - I feel numb. I can't focus on anything or enjoy cooking. I feel SO guilty that I end up cooking easy meals (potato veg and something from the freezer) or ready meals for when my husband is working during the evening. This means for my daughter, I end up either giving her some mash potato and veggies as finger foods or just Ella kitchen pouches (which she doesn't enjoy!!) . I feel SO guilty for giving her these pouches.
I feel such a rubbish mum. In my head I feel like I should have my shit together my now and meal planning and cooking healthy meals we can all eat together as a family , but I just can't be bothered and that makes me feel sad.
Am I being stupid or should I be doing more? Is it normal to have these feelings as a first time mum? I just always feel so guilty and like I'm not doing enough . Just really struggling at the moment and need a bit of a pick me up and some reassurance