6 week old won’t sleep in the day at all and constantly feeds!

[mumtobeinsept]

Please help!! I have 2 issues which are sort of linked - excuse the lengthy post.

I have a 6 week old who I breastfeed mostly during the day and formula feed at night.

Issue 1 is that in the day she is constantly feeding, I literally can’t get her off me for longer than 20 mins max. As soon as she drifts off and I put her in the Moses basket or sleepyhead she wakes up and starts with the hunger cues. This was what made me introduce formula as I just couldn’t satisfy her hunger. I could not bf constantly day and night. I kept bringing this up with the HV and midwife but they all they said was “this is normal”, “bf babies feed on demand” or “she’s going through a growth spurt”.

I’m just really sick and tired of them telling me this. A growth spurt all day every day?? From research online and also from family around me, cluster feeding at certain times is normal and other times feeding should be every 1.5-2 hours. I am feeding hours on end and literally dont get a min to go to the toilet let alone leave the house. I really want to continue breastfeeding but the constant feeding is driving me insane and I’m not sure I can go on for much longer without having a breakdown!!

Issue 2 (which is linked to the constant feeding) is that she refuses to sleep in the day. At night she sleeps great. She goes to sleep at 12.30 for 6 hours, then up for a feed for around 45mins and back down again until 9.30. This is when she has formula.

I thought her hunger during the day was down to me not having enough milk but when I pump I am getting a decent amount of milk. Also she is burping after a feed and having lots of dirty nappies.

I trialed giving her 1 bottle of formula in the day which kept her fuller for longer (2 hours) but that still didnt get her to sleep.

What am I doing wrong? Is it the quality of my milk, maybe not fatty enough? Should I give up on breastfeeding? Maybe If she was more satisfied she would sleep in the day?

@mumtobeinsept

It depends if you want to actually BF or not. But trust me, ignoring that lumpiness can lead to mastitis, which is going to make you feel far far worse...

She's trying to establish your supply. But without being allowed the breast at night, she's having to do all that in the day time.

Oh and she isn't 'using your breast as a dummy'

That's back to front, a dummy is a fake breast designed for FF babies when they want to comfort suck

You need to plan the feeds in the night to make sure you are bf regularly enough to build supply. The small hours are really important to get supply up. Don't forget it's not instant either, there will be a time lag of at least 24h before supply improves once you start feeding more regularly.

Try something like this
8.30pm/9pm you do a bf
9.30pm go to bed and sleep
10.30/11pm DH give a formula feed
2am you wake and give bf, doze with baby in safe co sleeping position
5am at latest or whenever baby demands you give another bf
And then bf through the day.

That way you get a block of sleep of 4 to 5 hours, maybe 6h. But also are not missing those vital small hour feeds.

Key to that working is DH keeping baby in separate room, ideally staying awake in lounge.

Yep I used to go to bed straight after dinner and be brought ds for a feed then give him straight back for winding/holding til dh went to bed about 11ish. DS was not a fan of being put down to sleep. I also got an extra hour or so in the morning as DH wore DS during his breakfast and walked the dogs then he was brought to me for sleepy boob and snuggle in bed

@Harrysmummy246 @Preggosaurus9 I would love to have a plan and feed her at certain times, I wouldn't mind getting up to feed her either, my issue is that when I feed her, burp her, give her to my mum or husband 5min later she is screaming for more. So have to put her on again.. and again... and again...and the cycle continues.

She can honestly feed god 2 hours straight and still come off looking for the boob and crying. I don't even know how long a feed should be? Should I be stopping between feeds and letting her cry?

After her bottle this morning she slept 7-10. She had been awake and on my boob since 10am with a 10 min break.

Hi congratulations on your baby. I have a 6 week old too (plus a 4yo who I breastfed until he naturally weened himself off aged 1). I'm breastfeeding and dd clusterfeeds usually srarting at 5pm onwards! She also doesn't sleep unless held etc.

Some people don't agree with this but I sought advice from the lullaby trust on how to safely co sleep and I do that. We also have a next to me cot. It means feeding in the night is easy and dd can suckle as much as she wants! It also means I'm not up and down to a cot as next to me's allow us to pretty much roll them in and out meanind dd is exposed it a lot so she's gradually having longer people's sleeping whilst not being held. I get plenty of sleep now and have the energy to be a great mum to her, my son and my stepson who lives with us.

I know how hard the tiredness is. Just remember how tiny they are and that they're used to living inside you so it's all normal. Suckling on you for comfort won't last forever either. Get tongue checked again and get your latch checked again. Also utilise any help available. Some of my friends who love babies have been great cuddles for dd so I know she'll settle without suckling!

Good luck!

Poor thing! I’m afraid my DD was like this from 4 weeks to 3 months.

She might not be hungry all the time. She might just want to latch for comfort, my DD wanted to be latched on most of the time, but I don’t think she was actually hungry. She would however snuggle into my mum’s shoulder to sleep for a bit and give my arms a rest - because my mum didn’t smell of milk perhaps?

If you’re confident you’re producing enough milk (lumpy boobs, plenty when you pump, so sounds like you are) and you don’t think there are any latch problems (your DD is gaining weight well), then it probably isn’t about feeding. Just remember that this phase doesn’t last long. A good sling is a lifesaver, if you can get her comfy and latched on you can still move around and it gives your arms a rest. Or otherwise be ready to spend a lot of time on the sofa!

My DD was exactly like this. Almost never napped during the day until 5 or 6 months.

At about 9 or 10 months I realised she had an upper lip tie which apparently usually comes with a tongue tie too. I never had any pain in breastfeeding, it was just constant. She would stop feeding due to passing out, I think from the physical effort she had to put in to get milk, but would wake up as soon as I tried to put her in the moses basket. Was breastfeeding at least 8 hours a day.

I would suggest getting an expert to check for tongue and lip tie. A GP may not see them enough. A midwife friend told me that tongue ties are like an elastic band. Long, easy to see ones actually stretch more easily than the very short, often missed ones. Short tongue ties are like a very thick elastic band and very hard to stretch.

Looking back I think my DD was sometimes sleeping while still doing the physical motion of sucking. She is 2 now and if she falls asleep drinking her milk at night, she still sucks on the bottle until I remove it sometimes, even an hour later she will be doing it.

I feel your pain/exhaustion. My DD couldn't feef from a bottle or suck a dummy. She couldn't figure out what to do. Didn't drink from a bottle until 10 months. We'll actually it's more of a sippy cup. When the lip tie was found they said she was too old to do anything.

Can you feel a let down when she feeds? Can you hear her swallowing a lot as the feed progresses (within a minute or two) and then regular slow swallowing? That would be a sign that there is plenty of milk.

What your doctor said about reflux could also be important. My dd (who was very little at birth cos a twin so only 6Ib at 6 weeks) was sucking constantly and although it was obviously to stimulate milk production it was also because she was suffering from reflux and only felt comfortable sucking. The minute she was put down, she felt uncomfortable and started crying again. The advice is this case was to wind, and keep her upright (ie in sling or on shoulder) for about 20 minutes after feeding, and not just put her back on the breast. My dd possetted a lot, but there is also silent reflux where there aren't any obvious signs. Mine would cry if I took her for a walk in the pram after feeding, she had to be upright.

So there are all sorts of reasons your dd might be still crying after a feed. She might be unsatisfied because of tongue tie, or volume of milk, or she might be just stimulating more milk production because of the night feed situation (which could be remedied as discussed above) or she could be genuinely uncomfortable after each feed and need to be upright (for which another person's help might be invaluable) I really wouldn't feed constantly. I would also leave a gap of at least one hour between feeds, even if it means carrying her around for a bit or going for a walk in the pram. It is a bit of vicious circle for you, cos she will be tired and you will be tired if you just feed 24/7 for weeks on end. But for two days it would be fine to get things kickstarted. Anyway, that is my experience, I'm sure someone else will be more up to date!!

What about trying to pump exclusively? I too have a 6 week old, she has a tongue tie which might make a difference, but my eldest (now 9!) was the same and she doesn't have a tongue tie.
They were both big babies and latched well, but must have just been incredibly inefficient breastfeeders. Tried weighted feeds with the first to see how much she was taking in at each feed, and it was next to nothing.
Pumping all the time isn't for everyone, and I worry she's missing the hormones and comfort from feeding directly - but that said, she drinks 5oz of expressed milk every 4 hours on the dot, day and night. She also uses my nipple as a dummy for a couple of minutes at a time a few times a day. Naps for an hour or two after each daytime feed, typically is awake for an hour or so after each night feed. Eldest was the same at this age. Renting a medela pump so it only takes about 5-8minutes to have the next feed pumped out, which I do with her asleep on me after she's fallen asleep feeding. This seems to be long enough to ensure that shes deep asleep enough to be moved into a Moses basket so I can get things done!

Focus on the positives though - 6 hours uninterrupted sleep at night is amazing!! Once you've got something that works for the daytime too you'll be laughing!

Also, I've got really flat nipples and left the hospital where I fed directly from the breast cracked and bleeding in real pain.
Since just pumping, no problems at all. Can adjust pump to be really gentle if she's soothed on the breast and sucked too hard beforehand. Not met anyone else who's done the same as me though, so I'm sure there's probably some huge downside I've never noticed!

Thank you everyone, lots of good suggestions.

I will ask for a referral next week from the gp to get the tongue tie looked into by an expert. She can also look into whether it's reflux.

I will also take her out in the pram a few times a day after the feeds to see whether that will help.

Xxx

My DH took DD2 out in the car to sleep. Sounds like colic to me. It will pass. She probably feels sucking (latching on) helps relieve the symptoms. This is quite usual. Ask if it could be this. My GP recommended a dummy to help with relief but DD spat this out too. DD also slept well at night very early - 8 weeks. I never lost any milk supply. At all! Settling her down was a nightmare though. She constantly wanted to feed. I bitterly regretted not bottle feeding from day 1 so someone else could help out. At least your DD is taking a bottle. Mine never did! Ever! Total nightmare. So I would just go with the bottle and share the job! Don’t beat yourself up thinking it has to be you. It doesn’t.

My DD is now 24. No one had a sling when she was a baby. We all had Moses baskets. We didn’t feel the need to be connected to our DC full time! When I collected DD1 from nursery it was bliss when DD2 slept in the car on the way there. I started going early so we both slept in the car when I arrived! Such is life! Grab sleep when you can.

Colic is usually improved by leaving small gaps in feeds, and keeping them against you after a feed or swaddling (firm pressure)

Bubbles most of my friends had slings and their kids are all in the 24-5 range