Conflicting opinions from health visitor and grandparents causing me stress!

[Alicia870]

Feeling a bit stressed about how to approach my baby's milk intake as I'm getting completely opposite opinions from health visitor and her grandparents and childminder. I am keen to follow health visitor advice but I'm being met with a lot of disagreement from others. I know she's my child but it is really quite difficult to stand my ground with them. She's my first baby so I think they think I don't know what I'm doing. I know the advice from the nhs is grounded in research and evidence but her grandmas are so stuck in their ways.

DD is almost 13 months, and had been formula fed until she turned one when I switched to cows milk. I have been giving her two bottles am and pm of milk. My MIL thinks she should have more! I asked health visitor about this and she actually advised me to drop the morning bottle and replace it with a cup of milk. She said she's likely getting enough overall through her cereal, cheese and yoghurt. She said when she is 15 months she should be off bottles completely and taking her milk from a cup.

I was all keen to do this but when I told MIL and childminder they both rolled their eyes and said don't listen to that advice- that she needs comfort and it's fine to keep giving her a bottle. I tried to stand my ground and say I'm going to try it anyway but they made me feel bad saying she needs the nutrients from the milk etc. Still so frustrating as I'm trying to do the right thing, which may not be the the easiest option, but the right thing to do by my own child.

I did try no bottle this morning and tried her with the cup but she won't drink it. Just feel so confused about the whole thing!

You pay the childminder so they do things your way they dont get to give opinions like that

Breastfeeding isnt supposed to have such an effect on teeth as other milks.

kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/tooth-decay/

Sorry @dementedpixie that's utter tripe - breast milk has a higher sugar content than cow's milk and causes more tooth decay, not less:

www.urmc.rochester.edu/news/story/902/ur-study-breast-milk-causes-more-cavities-than-cow-milk.aspx

That's why DS was night-weaned at 12 months despite still bf at 2y3m.

I expect you'll be even more confused after getting loads of conflicting advice from MN :o

I would take from this that it doesn't especially matter, and you should choose whichever approach you feel most comfortable with.

Not that it's relevant to OP but the most recent research I have seen about breastmilk is that it actually has a cavity preventing effect on CLEAN teeth, but when combined with food remnants it has a more corrosive effect than other milks (and other milks are already known to be bad).

It's true you shouldn't be giving them a bottle of milk to fall asleep with, this can cause tooth decay.

That's from 2005 so may be out of date. I dont think what I said was tripe at all.

Advice from health visitors changes every six months. Some of the advice may be good but a lot of it is just bollocks. It really doesn’t matter when she switches to cups or how much milk she is drinking (as long as her digestive system is in order and her nutritional needs are being met). Just do what works for your child and don’t stress over official advice which seems to be more about telling women what to do than scientific evidence.

I bf'd ds for 12 months, but it was only 1 early morning feed by the end. He began having cows milk until about 18 months but we dropped it after finding he was anaemic. The Dr said lots of toddlers are anaemic because they are given too much milk and it inhibits iron absorption. So we stopped seeing milk as 'essential' and instead focused on him getting a range of nutrients. There is no right answer - balance is the key and you are mummy so you get to call the shots. Be confident!

www.laleche.org.uk/breastfeeding-dental-health/

Health visitors don’t tend to tailor advice based on a child’s individual needs and often have a computer says no mentality. They are also not accountable for the feeding advice they provide. I wouldn’t personally change baby from formula to full on cows milk until they have a varied diet as it contains a whole host of added vitamins and minerals which cows milk doesn’t.

Mine never had bottles, they were breastfed until 15-18 months at night but transitioned to cows milk in a sippy cup from a year

@dementedpixie the two links you've posted are from the very pro-breastfeeding sites La Leche League and Kellymom. Unless you can link to an actual study then you're just spouting pro-bf propaganda with no scientific basis.

And I'm a big fan of natural-term bf so no prejudice here.

I literally ignored everyone's advice did what I wanted to do with my own research.

I don't think it matters either way but you are the mother and you need to decide what works for you and your child. Honestly it's not often that parenting decisions are so clear they are totally wrong or right. Trust your instincts

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2018/04/PHE-Child-Dental-Health-and-Breastfeeding-April-2018.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwi-z_Ss4MTlAhVOQMAKHX1uCmAQFjAVegQICBAB&usg=AOvVaw1H0xLf_7l253FolAEXPDNz" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2018/04/PHE-Child-Dental-Health-and-Breastfeeding-April-2018.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwi-z_Ss4MTlAhVOQMAKHX1uCmAQFjAVegQICBAB&usg=AOvVaw1H0xLf_7l253FolAEXPDNz

I didnt bf past the first few weeks so I have no bf agenda. The above link is from Public Health England and the last line says There is no evidence that from 12 months of age reducing breast feeding on demand and at night time will result in the prevention of tooth decay.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/breastfeeding-and-dental-health/breastfeeding-and-dental-health shorter link saying the same thing

Just don’t stress @Alicia870 - follow your instincts! My little girl naturally dropped to two bottles by 11 months (breakfast & bedtime) & we switched to a straw cup at 12 months. I figured a straw was a good transition as it’s still a sucking action. At 12 months, she accepted it happily and we never looked back. She’s 2.5 now & has milk from a cup with breakfast, I let her choose milk or water with snack in the morning & she has a cup at bedtime. My little one doesn’t like cheese & went off yoghurt for a long time too, so I’ve been keen to keep up milk.

Equally, I have friends who offer a cup in the morning & a bottle a bed still at 2.5 years.

Does your little one enjoy dairy in other forms? Yoghurts? Cheese? If so, don’t panic about the milk. Milk stops becoming a food source at one and is instead a nutritional drink. So a cup with a healthy breakfast is a great start to the day. And a cup a bedtime fills the tummy for sleep. Warm milk is comforting. But you can give warm milk in a cup too! Or if the bedtime bottle is really loved, carry on for now until your little one is less reliant on the comfort.

Please ignore your MIL. It’s your baby, not hers. My mum is quite opinionated (although a retired HV, so her opinions have some weight) but she bites her tongue most of the time and let’s us get on with it even though I know she disagrees.

@dementedpixie did you actually read the whole document? I doubt it because you missed the fact that it says that whilst bf up to 12 months protects against dental caries, more research is needed between 13 and 23 months as whilst studies show an increase in caries they may not have taken into account all affecting factors.

Your link also states that past 2, there is a definite and measurable increase in dental caries in bf children compared to non-bf children.

It also said the studies didnt look at other factors such as foods eaten alongside breastfeeding.

Anyway, it's nothing to do with the OPs question so dont think we should derail any further.