In reality how do you get your toddler to sleep?

[lancslass17]

Just wondering if putting them in cot saying good night and leaving is a myth?

I don't think it's a myth but I always assume anyone who can do that has either done it from a very early age so it was just always the pattern, using things like singing/ssshing/patting/stroking in the cot if their baby was unsettled at being put down, or their toddler when a baby was bottlefed and/or had a dummy (and possibly still has one or both of those things). I just can't see how you get there from breastfeeding unless you've always been very strict about separating feeding and sleep, and I just don't have the patience for that myself.

I can believe this as DS2 started off as one of those mythical babies who was totally happy to be put down "drowsy but awake" :o as a newborn. He'd happily drift off to sleep like that as well. It was once he could roll/crawl that stopped working because you put him down and it was like a sensor activated in his brain "I'm free!!" and he would start to move around, which immediately woke him up. That still happens. He wouldn't just lie there (crying or not).

I put both of mine in cot and bed. Story, kiss then leave the room.

Ds1 has bwen happy to be put in the cot (bed now) and left to go to sleep since he was about 16 months. He had a teddy to cuddle and his music/light show thing . Now he's 4, he gets in bed, kisses etc. Still has a light globe thing, and he watches that and falls to sleep on his own.

Meanwhile, I take the 2 yr old, and cuddle on the bed for a minute then he lays down and goes to sleep. I tend to stay with him til he's asleep though I don't really have to.

I stopped breastfeeding at 8 months Bertie and it was DS who separated sleep and feeding for himself because he just stopped falling asleep feeding at around 6 months (he generally became very hard to feed, which is why I stopped - it was making me miserable). It wasn't really a good thing though - he then needed endless rocking and eventually that stopped working too so that's when we tried the gradual retreat because we just didn't have a reliable way to get him back to sleep when he woke so we were up half the night with him. It worked very quickly and easily so I actually wonder if he'd actually wanted to be allowed to just get on with it for a while...

As a baby I rocked him. Then he started mucking about so I put him in bed awake and sang to him and stroked his back. Then he started giggling at that so I said goodbye love you. That was at 16 months and that's how we've done it ever since! It's when I left him to fall asleep that he started sleeping through. But I only left him because he was happy. If he wanted me I would be there. Basically what I'm saying is do what needs to be done it won't last forever!

Until he turned two we could put my son to bed and say night night and that would be it - from the age of about ten months to two that was all we did. When he turned two (about a month later) he started waking in the night so we put him into a bed which he stayed in all night and didn’t wake up. However we then hit the two months (felt like two hundred) where we had to sit in his bedroom floor till he fell asleep - which could take ten minutes or two hours. If we tried to go he was straight out of bed and we had to start again. This stopped when I told HV and she said out a stair gate on and do gradual withdrawal. Took a week and we were back to normal. He liked having stories but leaving could be a problem for a time but now he’s straight to bed, a couple of stories and he shouts night night love you and that’s it.

We’ve just rolled with it - it was bliss for the longest time and now it’s great again. I can get him to bed in ten minutes and he loves his stories. Bedtime is a great time - a year ago I had anxiety attacks.

DD is 2.5, we have bath & teeth, into pjs, then a story. Then she goes into her cot with her dummy (and white noise!). I leave the room and she goes to sleep by herself. If she hasn’t napped she goes off within minutes. If she’s had a nap it’s anything up to an hour, but she is happy by herself, there’s just lots of singing!

DS is 3 next month and after bath or shower we do story with warm milk, clean teeth, kisses and that’s it. He usually falls asleep within a few minutes but if not he will play with teddies or books in his room so, again not a myth.
Theres no way I’d be sitting on his bed for any length of time while he fell asleep. I have friends who do this and they take up so much of their evening sitting on their child’s floor while they fall asleep. Each to their own but not for me

I sit with my 18 month old until he falls asleep (after bath, milk stories etc). Sometimes he chats to us for up to an hour but he usually just asks for a song or 2 and goes to sleep on average takes about 15 mins. Never wanted to sleep train that involved leaving him to cry. I fed him to sleep until he was 13 months and then stopped bf and moved to patting/back rubs then just sitting near the cot. I enjoy the time with him, don’t begrudge it at all.

Up to around 2 and a bit, both mine were rocked to sleep. Older one started to lie down in her bed and listen to a story and then I snuck out and she was asleep around 2.5 maybe. Youngest is still little so haven’t tried this yet, but I’m not in any particular hurry to stop rocking him to sleep.

There definitely is a point when they just put themselves to bed and you say good night and leave. I think for most it’s closer to 4 than the toddler years though.

My now 6 year old reads in her room, does drawing and makes all sorts of random crafts (that I have to clean up in the morning ), plays board games with herself, listens to audio books, and then turns off the light and puts herself to sleep when she’s tired. She wouldn’t have done that at 3 though.

I lie down with my 5 year old in my bed till he falls asleep.
My 3 year old falls asleep on the couch with Daddy, while I'm upstairs with the 5 year old. Both have lights off they generally fall asleep quickly.

DS is 2.4 and has just dropped his nap so it really is a case of sit by him for 10 minutes and he's asleep. When still napping, it was wait for sometimes an hour + while he leapt around, wanted cuddles or pats and wait it out.

I won't leave him generally unless he's being a bumhead in which case I tell him I'm going to loo/ put laundry away and check in once in a while