Can someone help with routine? I can’t see the wood for the trees!

[AwkwardAsAllGetout]

So, a little backstory. Dd is almost 7 months old. She’s not my first so I feel I’ve been left to it a bit by the professionals, but she is by far the most difficult baby I’ve had. She was diagnosed with CMPA a few months ago and now that’s sorted it’s made a huge positive difference to her temperament. I’m breastfeeding her and before I cut out dairy she screamed pretty much 24/7. I had to insist it wasn’t just colic before anything was done about it. Hospital dieticians and paediatricians were lovely but have pretty much piled on the guilt to keep feeding her myself as in their own words the formula she’d need is very expensive and they dislike prescribing it. As a result of her being so unsettled I feel like we’ve got into some really bad habits. I can’t put her down At All. She’ll literally not go down in her cot, ever. I feed her to sleep, then am pinned under her if I actually want her to sleep. It doesn’t matter how tired she is, as soon as I try and put her down she wakes up. Nighttimes are just as bad. She co sleeps as it was easiest with feeding her at first, I also had terrible SPD which has taken a long time to improve, so getting in and out of bed was painful and took far too long. But now I’m starting to feel resentful of all the happy, contented babies I see around me, and just want a break. I need a break. I’ve booked a night away for me and dh bear Christmas and it’s already looking like we can’t go as dd has never taken a bottle, even if expressed milk. And I just can’t see how I can improve things when I’m so tired. She’s just not happy to entertain herself even for a few minutes so I’m constantly playing catch-up with housework too. My problems are mainly sleep related. I want her to be able to nap and sleep in her own cot. When we’re in bed at night she’s either constantly feeding or has to be in contact with me, as soon as I try to move she’ll get upset. And I’m drained. I feel like just by having to get through her first terrible months however we could has set us up to fail in the long run. Has anyone had a baby like this? And how did it get better?

Hello, I feel you!
My boy was premature and in NICU for several weeks, tube fed etc. When we got him home he screamed for weeks and we had to take shifts sitting with him holding him upright. We were exhausted. Lots of visits to GP and his paediatrician etc finally got him medicated for silent reflux and it was a game changer. All of a sudden he didn’t squeal during his feeds any more and seemed a bit more settled.
This was at about 3.5 months I’d say. We started working on putting him down in his crib for sleeping during daytime naps and on a nighttime, and introduced a bed time routine which was nonsense to start with but fell into place eventually.
We would always put him down awake and never pick him back up, just sit next to him and soothe him. At first it would take about an hour and it gradually reduced and now he goes to bed no bother on a nighttime. He’s a bit fussier during the day but it takes no more than a couple of minutes. He’s a 30 minute napper no matter where he is though (even in arms).
I’d try putting her down awake even though it’ll be excruciating for a while. I know me and hubby were at deaths door but he sleeps through now.
He is bottle fed though so I’m afraid I can’t really help with the breastfeeding side of it.
You’re not alone, my baby was always the nightmare in baby classes, still is really, defo higher maintenance than others I see.
You’re doing an amazing job!!

My first baby was like this. She didn't have CMPA (my 4m DS now does). She was EBF. She wouldn't ever go to sleep on her own, had to be held. Wouldn't sleep in her own bed/cot from about 11m old so had to co-sleep. I'm not a fan of the cry it out method, so I'd never do that to her, even if it might work eventually. I can't really give you any advice on how to change it, as my girl never changed. But I will say that at 2y8m now, she is the sweetest, kindest and most precious little girl and I put it down to all the love that she had and has. It was hard at the time, but I'm glad I was able to do it and spend all that time with her, cuddling her. Housework can wait. Time flies x