Going round to a school mum friends house with my newborn

[Hel1985]

Hi, me and my kids have been invited for a play date round a friend from school house. I have three children 5, 3 and a 7 week old. My 6 and 4 year old plays with my school mums children (which she has a 1 1/2 year old and 6 year old) but I'm dreading going with my newborn.
It sounds silly when I think calmly about it, but I'm so anxious i won't be able to settle my newborn and she will cry the whole time. My 7 week old is quite a swirmy restless baby and doesn't seem content. Plus when she gets tired it's a real struggle to help her to sleep. I know they are goimg to want to hold her and have cuddles, but my 7 week old never seems to like sitting there and taking in a view, she prefer to be held upright and me walking round with her. I'm already getting myself in a worry about it.
I really don't want to decline as my older two will love to have a play date with their friends and I don't want to let them down.
Also when my school mum friend had her youngest she hasn't not cried once anytime I've seen her (since 3 months) She's the most content child I know and I'm already feeling like I may be judge and so so anxious.

Some babies are like that! Mine had to be put, upright, over my shoulder and jiggled continually. I used to look enviously at other people's babies sitting or lying contentedly on their knees while they got to do exciting things like actually eat lunch that required cutlery. I think it was probably colic - he genuinely didn't seem comfortable in any other position.

You're right though, you really have to go for the sake of your older ones. Perhaps just breezily explain (as you pace round the room) what a shock this one has been after 2 "easy" babies. After all, it's not like you can be dismissed as having "precious first born" syndrome going on.

Velcro babies are a thing and they are knackering to look after. But it does pass eventually. (I still remember my sheer delight first time DS fell asleep lying across my lap rather than being walked up and down over my shoulder - he was about two months).

I have three children 5, 3 and a 7 week old. My 6 and 4 year old plays with my school mums children

Whose are the 6 and 4 year olds?!

@fedup21 not really the important part of the post is it. OP either put the wrong ages originally by mistake or decided to change the ages slightly to hide her identity and forgot to change both ages.

OP don't let it worry you. If they ask if they can hold her, just say she's having a grumpy day and is being a bit clingy so maybe next time.

Thank you Barbara, you have made me feel alot better. I look back on pictures of my other two and my middle one would literally fell asleep anywhere.
Glad you got to enjoy sleepy time on your lap with your little one, it must of felt so lovely :)

Sorry 'fedup21' fat thumb syndrome. My older two are 5 and 3. Thank you for your reply, good idea, I will use that one :)

If she is a nice friend she will be understanding if not make an excuse that you have a terrible headache and go home.

Do you have a baby carrier or a sling you could use? They're great for keeping a velcro baby happy & also give you free hands to eat, etc. Having her in a sling will also make it easy to stop the other kids from holding her.

If you don't have one, you might have a local Sling Library that will lend one, or at least allow you to rent one to try out.

PS: I take my hat off to you... I'm finding it difficult to get out with my 11 week old & 2 year old, so I can only imagine how much hard work it is with three children to wrangle. If you find yourself feeling generally anxious/down a lot of the time though, perhaps it's worth chatting to your GP about it ❤

Hi OP, I’m a FTM with a 14 week old and I found your post really reassuring to read as I always think the experienced mums don’t worry about this sort of stuff. So thank you!
Secondly, you have described my baby. Has only wanted to be upright from 4 weeks. Doesn’t settle at all, will only be jigged or constantly on the move. I’ve been so anxious taking him anywhere as he’s always the problem baby. So no advice but just that I sympathise!

My first baby was like this and I dreaded going anywhere too, even over the road for a cup of tea so I sympathise! My second was a sleeper and it’s just luck so please don’t allow yourself to feel judged.