I can't cope anymore

[Binforky]

I am the world's worst mum I just can't cope with my middle son anymore. He's spiteful, demanding and just so hard to cope with.

He keeps everyone awake all the time and tonight because I told him to be quiet and go to sleep he screamed in his younger sleeping brothers face and threw a glass of water over him. He shouts mum,mum,mum,mum at me non stop and I hate to say tonight while walking out the room I kicked one of his toys and it broke which had set him off even more. I feel awful for doing it and I will apologize to him but I feel like I am losing my mind. He just won't stop if we try and go out he just hangs of me and gets angry at everyone. He especially targets his brother and makes his life a living hell. The poor boy gets no attention at all and doesn't even bother asking for things as he says they will just get ruined.

I've been told he may have ASD bit how is a diagnosis going to make this any better. I have tried everything taking things away, leaving him to smash the room up but that's not fair as he shares with his younger brother and he often breaks his things. My older child is self harming because of this and I just don't know what to do.

I'm so scared I'm going to completely lose it one of these days. The whole family is walking on egg shells. I am such a crap mum.

Well asd can really affect sleeping so a diagnosis might mean you can get melatonin to help him try to sleep. And therapy and advice on how to relate to your ds and him to you. A diagnosis for us made it easier for us as it allowed us to separate behaviour from asd in a way-we realised poor behaviour was linked to frustration and inability to express emotions.

I couldn't read and run.
This sounds absolutely awful. How old is your middle son?

You're not a crap mum, you're a mum struggling in a very difficult situation. A diagnosis, if indeed your ds does have additional needs such as adhd, odd, asd etc, it could open the doors for more support and respite for the whole family.

Could your other sons share and your middle child have the room to himself? Have you spoken to your gp and asked for help with sleeping, such as melatonin (I think it's called that)?

You are not a bad mum, you are worn down by having a challenging child. When my youngest (with ADD) goes through bad spells the whole family feel the shock waves. It isn't anyones fault.

Try to step back and see it through a friend's eyes, what would they tell you to do?