Expressing milk & skipping a night feed

[Lou0712]

Hi
I’m EBF my 4 week old baby but expressing enough so my husband can do a night feed as due to my baby’s reflux, he won’t sleep in his cot so whoever feeds him has to hold him upright until the next feed! So Only way I get any sleep is by letting my husband do a shift with him!
I was going to bed at 9 and husband was doing the midnight feed then I took over for the next feed around 2/3 onwards. The last couple of nights we switched and I was doing the midnight feed but baby was really unsettled. I’m wondering if it’s because my body has learnt to skip producing milk at this time?
I’d like to be able to switch it up depending on plans, should I do alternate days of each or 2 days of each etc to try keep the milk supply up at both times?
Or wondering whether to get my husband to wake me up when baby takes the expressed milk and I quickly
Pump for 10 minutes. Obviously I’m then waking up but 10 mins is much better than an hour breast feeding
Any advice welcome!

Could your husband bring the baby to you in bed, you fed lying down and then he takes the baby away to hold him upright? I don't think it's a problem to skip a feed occasionally but I wouldn't want to be doing it every other night.

Are feeds really taking an hour, is that all active sucking or does he slow down to fluttery sucking after a while? Again not something to do every feed, but if you want to go back to sleep then it's OK to cut the feed short when you notice it changing from long, deep swallowing to Fluttery light suckling with breaks. This kind of feeding isn't pointless or "just comfort" but it's less important than the first more intense part of the feed so when you're short on time of at night you can cut them short there if you like.

I don't think it will make much difference either way. At that age, your body will be constantly producing milk as long as you are expressing at some point (presumably to get the bottle your dh feeds), then you are demanding the same overall quantity. It won't matter if it's at 12am or 2am. It could just be one of those things or maybe because you didn't sleep as well swapping the feeds around or drink as much water as normal that things seemed a bit funny. It may just be that you changed up the routine and that was unsettling.

I wouldn't add any extra middle of the night pumping as long as you are otherwise feeding during the night. It's probably more important that you just get some sleep.

Your milk will be fine at this stage so you don't need to pump to compensate - do you have a haaka pump to collect the letdown? I've always got at least a bottle per day from that then just use a pump (we have manual and electric) for when I've missed a feed. As someone else mentioned, in the early days my husband would also bring our baby to me, I'd literally feed him and then give him back for burping etc and go back to sleep. We also did shifts until about 7 weeks so introduced a bottle (but of formula as I needed to freeze the milk that I was pumping) around week 2 so dad could also do the 10pm feed instead of me waking up.

We also introduced a dummy around a similar point as the bottle because he was sucking on me rather than for actual milk. This is fine at times but not when I also really need sleep. The feeds then dropped to about half the time, and 8 months on he is obviously even more efficient. Is this something you could do? He then wasn't interested in the dummy after around 12 weeks although does use it now when he has issues with teething.

Thank you for the replies - this has made me feel much better!
It’s hard to tell whether it’s comfort or not...sometimes he gets to the flutter and other times not.
I’ve recently introduced a dummy and that helps me work it out as he normally spits it out in protest if he is still hungry.
I think I’ll try getting my husband to bring him to me tonight for the 9-10pm feed and then hand him back and then get him to feed a bottle for the next feed.
I do have a hakka but haven’t used it yet! I need to do that as I do lose a lot of milk from the let down.
Thank you so much for your advice. I was so worried about milk production that I’ve had 2 sleepless nights doing the feeds solo and it’s just not manageable!

Mine also had reflux and also took 40+ mins for feeds. I found week 3-6 the hardest I think because the reality that this is your baby for life has set in, and it feels relentless with the feeding. Utilise your husband, you'll likely find he wants to know what he can do to help you - mine loved "his" time with our baby, and I enjoyed it as I slept. You can also do this at weekends (if he has a week day job) as you can just do the feeding, and he can do everything else whilst you sleep.

With the Hakka pump, do give it a go. I've been getting 150-250ml each day with it so have a massive frozen stash too. I also use it when I have the pump on the other side to collect the excess. I'm 8 months into it now and honestly think it's the best mum buy ever, although a lot of my friends didn't get on with it so I think it might depend on your breast size etc.

Good luck tonight!