Saying fuck! in front of DS

[IamAporcupine]

I used to have a 'bad mouth' before having DS but since then I have tried to tone it down as much as I can. I do say the occasional 'shit'.

DH on the other side, will say fuck if he drops a full glass of milk, or bangs his head on a cupboard, or similar

DS is starting to feel bad about it. He is constantly reminded in school that those are bad words etc, and I guess he does not like it that his dad says them?

I have briefly mentioned it to DH and he says he cannot stop it. That they are 'just words' that come out when he is annoyed, and that they are not really important.

English is not our first language so it is true that swearing in English has less meaning and connotation, but still it makes me worry that DS seems to be reacting to it.

I am quite sweary. I swear in front of my kids. I never, ever swear at them, or at anyone else, for that matter. DH and I don't swear at each other or call names, even in arguments. I'm very picky about the language we use to talk to the children, especially when we're 'telling them off'.

But I see absolutely no harm in the occasional FFS/shit/fucking hell in their hearing. It's just words. They know that grown ups sometimes do things that kids don't. (I don't share my wine with them either) They also know that I don't swear at work, or in front of people who are offended by swearing.

The eldest is 15 now and doesn't swear. Well, I'm sure he does with his mates, but I've never heard him and it's never come up at school.

I'm quite sweary as is my OH. DC simply know that those are adults words and they are not to use them. Same as pp we never swear at each other or at him of course. I think it's a little bit precious to assume nobody will ever swear around him incase he feels "bad" about it , I'd address that attitude straight away.

I dont prescribe to the 'swearing is bad' ethos.

Swearing at someone, isnt ok. But I dont agree that swearing is bad and people who do it are bad.

My kids are taught it's a grown up word and as their school dont like it they must respect that anyway, even as an adult. My work is quite sweary. But lots arent. I wouldn't swear in a place that wasnt.

Personally, I would eb explaining to ds that swearing doesnt make you a bad person.

Better than picking up words like "lounge" and "toilet" shudders

Thanks everyone, that's been very helpful, I think I was losing perspective. I think it is because he gets annoyed about bloody everything sometimes!

@AnotherQuirkyUsername - I never said DS feels bad about hearing swear words. He feels bad about his dad swearing, because in his mind that probably makes him a bad person (he is 7).

Occasional swearing when you've hurt yourself or dropped something is ok but just sprinkling fuck and fucking into ordinary sentences is very bad manners.

I was in hospital recovering from an OP recently and from 10am, the older lady (60/70's) in the next bed had her husband visiting and he was obviously explaining about some issues with managing at home alone and every third word was fuck or fucking. He didn't even attempt to talk quietly despite it being a ward full of ladies recovering from surgery. It was just vile.

If you think you might be using lots of swear words within your normal speech, maybe it's time to try to change that behaviour, unless you're happy for your children to grow up emulating you?

@Zeldasmagicwand - I know what you mean and it is nothing like that.

Also, it is always used as an exclamation, never directed at someone, or as a qualifier.