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Struggling with 21mo and 6mo

6 replies

ACJD · 19/10/2019 06:54

Hi everyone im looking some advice. I have a 21month old girl and a 6mo boy. I'm really struggling to split my time between them both to help them develop. Im worried as my daughters speech is not good at all. Doesnt say alot of words but babbles alot and understands alot of what we say. My 6mo boy wont open his mouth for solids. Hes not rolling either, but has good head control and is the happiest little boy. I have postpartum anxiety and on citalopram so not sure if I'm totally panicking or whether I should be concerned. I'm starting to blame myself that they aren't reaching their goals even though I am spending as much time as possible with them. I'm finding it hard to juggle everything esp now my daughter refuses to nap during day. And before anyone says you should of waited longer in between our first was IVF and 2nd was a complete surprise!! Could people throw me ideas on how to entertain my daughter Any advice welcome please!

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PixieDustt · 19/10/2019 07:05

Babies all learn at different paces so don't worry. Some kids babble then all of a sudden it comes at once for them.
I suggest playing a game that they can play together or she can show her sibling. What about
Messy play, soft play etc. Then when your younger DC is napping maybe play games with your daughter that is just for her, puzzles, colouring etc?

Twerking9to5 · 19/10/2019 07:10

It’s an incredibly tough time! I have a slightly larger age gap of 21 months but those early days of two under two were kind of awful if I remember correctly!

I know it’s easy to say “don’t worry”, but truly-don’t worry about these development stages too much. Don’t put yourself/them under pressure to be meeting them. It’s really hard to split your time at this stage as they will both need a lot of your time so, again, try not to let the guilt in!

It might be worth checking out “the five minute Mum” on instagram. She has some quick set up little games to help entertain. Think there’s a book coming out soon too.

Seahorseshoe · 19/10/2019 07:19

Your daughter's language will come on, she's not yet 2. I used to worry about my DD's speech, but I needn't have. Try not to put yourself, and your kids, under too much pressure. Before you know it, they will be grown up. Try and enjoy the good stuff, really focus on it.

You ask for advice, I'd say limit iPad time and plug into them when you have their attention. I'm not saying don't have screen time, but when they don't have it, be really present with them. My kids grew up in an age before iPads, I'd have absolutely used them too, before I get bashed.

Also, as a parent, some days are better than others, if you have a bad day, it doesn't mean tomorrow will be.

Also, 2 kids under 2 is exhausting. Be kind to yourself op. Accept that you are doing your best and that is enough. With social media, there is this artificial presentation of the "perfect" family. These people show you what they want you to see, not the reality of life. It puts mums under so much pressure. Again, I'm glad this wasn't around when my kids were small. Even Facebook, people don't show you the shitty side of life, the struggles.

I wish I could go back and have my kids small again, it really does go so fast. If I could tell myself one thing as a young mum, it would be to let them be more independent. I jumped in too fast to help them, instead of letting them figure it out themselves. Helping them, isn't helping them, sometimes.

Good luck op. As long as they're happy, loved, safe, fed and warm - they'll be absolutely fine.

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MissBPotter · 19/10/2019 07:24

In terms of solids I would definitely recommend baby led weaning. It is done on their own timeline then and helps develop their jaw for speaking. Also 6 months is really young and some babies just aren’t that keen at that age. I would give him a few bits of veg and fruit to play with at meal times but not worry if he doesn’t eat much.

Regarding speech do you chat to your two? All the time just about everyday stuff? I also think those picture books where they have to name things like farm animals etc are really helpful. And just reading with them in general, little stories is great. Pip and posy books are fab for that age and a bit older. No expert but these are things I have found helpful.

It’s quite a difficult age gap but will get easier in my opinion. Good luck!

Lilonetwo · 19/10/2019 07:37

It's difficult to not worry. But honestly they will both get there.

I have a 16m age Gap so know how you feel about being so split. I still do (they are now 2.5years and 17 months)

Eldest didn't even start taking until a couple of months ago. Youngest didn't eat properly until a couple of months ago too! I think his dummy didn't help...

When weaning my youngest flat out refused a spoon. He would gag and be sick and for very upset.

In the end we just started baby led weaning. He wasn't even interested in picking food up until about 10 months, and even then wasn't actually eating much.

Try not to worry. All children eat in the end and all children talk in the end (obviously I'm talking about children without developmental special needs.)

ACJD · 19/10/2019 08:13

Thankyou everyone for your replies. I'm just wiped out. Kids been sick for over a week with cough cold and vomiting. My son coughs and vomits and I'm sick too, so maybe all getting on top of me!! I worried myself about my daughter when she was younger not eating great and now she never stops!! I know all will come ok but I just cant help but worry. Hard to stop yourself comparing your kids to others the same age. On the plus point my daughter has done a few pees in the potty so maybe will get her potty trained soon

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