Partner calls me fat

[Loveworlds1]

My lo is 9 miles this and I'm 12 weeks pregnant so you can imagine one struggled to ditch baby weight and now pregnant again. Whenever we argue he calls me a fat mess with 2 kids and no one will want me.

When we argue he will say pay the rent yourself you fat / you disgust me your disgusting.

I act like I'm not bothered and I say horrible stuff back ( only because he does it to me first) then when we've stopped arguing he will say sorry he doesnt mean it I'm jot fat and he says it to get me angry.

But this constant fat shaming is actually making me feel self conscious I'm paranoid about going out. I'm jot actually fat just curvy but I look at myself and I do think I'm a dat mess and before he started doing this I was actually ok with myself.

Also we've had physical fights whilst I'm pregnant and he has slapped me several times in my head in front of his own son. I left immediately to my mums with our child and didnt answer amy of his calls he was ringing texting pleading me to once back that hes sorry.

I came back next day but I flinch now everytime he puts his arms near me.

Please dont judge I'm in a really hard situation also financially and without him I wouldnt be able to live in the house I do. I really wanted to vent.

Oh op, I’m sorry. It sounds like you’re in an abusive relationship with a deeply unpleasant man. My advice to you is seek help - support from family and friends but also I’d recommend you contact Woman’s Aid www.womensaid.org.uk/

Even if you just call for someone to talk to, do get in touch. You’re worth so much more than your partner has made you feel and it’s also so important that your little boy doesn’t grow up seeing his mum being treated this way, or learning that that’s how you treat woman or those he loves.

I imagine you must be coming up to your booking in appointment soon too - your midwife will be someone who can help put you in touch with local organisations. I hope you can find the strength to reach out

I think you should give Women's Aid a call and seriously think about leaving him and taking your son with you. He's abusing you - physically, emotionally and mentally and that kind of behaviour is unacceptable. Your son shouldn't be watching this kind of thing and thinking it is an acceptable way to treat someone.

This is worth giving your house up for, honestly. You don't deserve this life. Your son certainly doesn't.

FWIW if you were a fat mess he wouldn't have managed to have been attracted to you enough to make two children, would he?

Do what's best for you and your babies. Please leave him.

He hits you. What happens when he starts hitting them?

Please leave him. He's massively abusive, it'll only get worse.

You need to report his assaults to the police. Remember your son will become a man and your DP is his current role model. Own your future. Can you move in with your mum until you can sort yourself out?

Go back to you mums and stay there.
On what planet is it ok to call a pregnant woman fat, or to slap her face INFRONT OF HER CHILD.

You need to leave. You and your children are not safe with him. Call Women's Aid today for advice 0808 2000 247.

It's his son not mine.. we have 1 child together and he has a child from a previous. He hit me infront of his own child who is like 8. And I couldn't believe it. It started little slaps but now it like every week we argue and he blows up

no house is worth this- call women's aid. Your children will witness this and think its normal- it isnt.

His son is growing up to see violence as normal. Do you want that for your kids too?

It's clearly escalating. Next time it might be a punch, then a few weeks later, choking. This is violent abuse (in addition to emotional abuse) and you need to get out of there. You also need to report it, as you can escape with your children, but your OH's kid can't, so SS and the police need to know so they can help him too.

Please get yourself and your children away from him.

You are in danger, but there are people who can help.

Yes I could move in with my mum and dad it wouldnt be a problem with them. He doesnt do it all the time but it has been more frequent. Then he makes me think that it's nothing and showers me with gifts etc. But when we argue bad he will hit me and I will hit him back then he will go made and slap me punch me in my back kick me in my leg and it really hurt and he always says you would know about it if I really hit u hard. It makes me think that its nothing. I know it's not right he just confuses me when hes all nice then horrible when he goes mad. I think hes I'll in the head but that's jo excuse. Now his son is coming to stay this weekend and I'm ashamed to see him because he saw all thst happened last week. I just cannot be bothered but I dknt want to be alone at the same time. It's a situation I NEVER thought I'd tolerate bit here I am.

He is not a partner.

He is abusive and gaslighting you.

There is no making up for that or making it nothing

Go to your parents with your child and be safe

Go for it OP, things won't change on their own and could well get worse.

Good luck x

you know you need to leave him. sounds like your parents will be supportive. good luck.

he is an abusive violent bully, he has no respect for you and is playing mind games, you need to get away from him before he seriously hurts you and your baby. go to your parents, they love you and will look after you, do not take him back. it's tough but he is violent. he will not change.

You need to leave him, call your mum and explain everything!

Please don't stay with him for the kids as it will only get worse. No child needs to see their mum get hit (I know it wasn't your children's who witness but it will be).

If you had a daughter in this scenario what would you say to her?

You need to leave and you need to tell his child's mum that he is hitting you in front of him, if that was me I wouldn't want my child anywhere near him. Please speak to your parents. You or your children do not deserve this