Parenting without own parents

[ZJSH]

I have 2 young children both of my parents are gone and I have no siblings. My partner's parents live hundreds of miles away. I feel incredibly lonely sometimes and wish I could have the support I see my friends getting from their parents. My best friend's mum helps out with housework sitting with the kids the school run and parenting advice. I heard another parent at school yesterday say we are going to grandads for tea to her child. I keep thinking about that and my children will never have that. Is there anyone else in this position?

Yes, a friend is with her DTs. It's hard for her, but you cannot change the way it is and it's probably unhealthy to wish otherwise. Reflect on how you can make sure they know about your parents. Make sure they see their other grandparents. Build a network of support through friends

Not quite, but enough to have some of the same feelings. PIL also hundreds of miles away and don’t make much effort. Mother dead. Father happy to babysit sometimes but I’d love to have help and advice which he can’t give. It’s hard, isn’t it.

Yes. It makes me incredibly sad that my baby will grow up without the family network around them. It is very lonely and I understand you. We have zero help from family and very low contact with one grandma. That's it.

My parents live 300 miles away and DD doesn't have a dad.

I've built a really nice support network of friends and our next door neighbour (all different ages and all good friends before I had DD). I know it's not the same but I really value knowing there are people around to keep us company sometimes and to help out from time to time. They seem to enjoy spending time with us too and to relish the chance to look after DD without me interfering! (Win win)

Could you invest a bit in building your social circle up?

Yes, I know exactly what it’s like. I was widowed with two babies, my PILs were 250 miles away and still worked full time, so I saw them twice a year.
I had no contact with my own abusive parents, who were 400 miles away and both died before the kids started primary school.
With DH dead, it was just me and the kids, so a treadmill of working as a hospital doctor, coming home and doing childcare, and having no social life. I had one weekend away from the kids in 18 years.
You survive it somehow, OP. And the kids are well worth it when they’re grown up. Mine are pushing 30 now, and I love them to bits!

Thank you all for listening replying and for the advice x