Giving a smartphone to a 10-year-old ... advice?

[gobeithio]

DD turns 10 soon and I'm planning to give her my smartphone as a birthday present, since I'm about to upgrade it. This is mainly because she is constantly asking to use mine so she can play Times Tables Rockstars and do various other things. Has anyone given a phone to a kid of this age, and if so what advice would you give me?

Here's what I'm thinking at the moment ... I don't think I want to give her a SIM card because I don't want her running up a bill for me (and anyway making traditional calls and texts is not what she's really interested in). It would mainly be for using at home, and in a few other places where there is wifi. I would plan to use parental controls wherever possible ... although I admit that I feel a bit out of my depth here about what the options are for ensuring that she is protected. Perhaps there is some good software I could install to enable me to keep tabs on her? Anything else to bear in mind?

If it's an android phone, set up Google family link. Better than any other parental control software, and it's free.

@bertiebotts Thank you - I didn't know about that! It is indeed an android phone (Samsung Galaxy S7).

I didn't know about Google family link. This is genius!

Set the ground rules now, make them strict. Then you can loosen them as she gets older. It’s far harder to row back once she’s 13 and used to doing whatever she likes with her phone.

I’d suggest

• you know the pincode
• you are allowed to look at her phone any time you please to see what’s she’s looking at
• if she’s reset the pin and not told you, phone is confiscated
• if she’s deleting browsing history, phone is confiscated
• you get to decide what apps she has
• you get to decide when she gets social media, and then you get to monitor it
• no phone in bedroom overnight
• no phone after a certain time
• no phones at table at mealtimes (except perhaps if you’re out with other adults and you want her to entertain herself once she’s chatted to everyone and they want their own conversation)
• she doesn’t add anyone on social media who she doesn’t actually know in person

Draconian but it will stand you in good stead in years to come I promise

Oh and under no circs allow in app purchases or free access to app purchasing without a password that only you know!

@HelloYouTwo Those are some really sensible suggestions - thank you. And I should probably do better with following the 'no phone after a certain time' policy myself.

My DS got my old iPhone earlier this year (he's nearly 11 now) and we put into place all the steps that HelloYouTwo suggests. His phone does have a SIM as it needed one for activation and it means tha the can WhatsApp his school friends (he has about 8 of them on his phone). I pick up his phone regularly and check all messages and I have various restrictions on his phone via the Apple family set-up which means he has to ask me to download any app, including ones he's had before, I set screen time for the phone and various specific apps etc etc. I'm sure you can do the same for Android.

I actually find it useful eg when DS has forgotten what his homework is, I get him to ask his friends! He's particularly enjoyed keeping in touch with some of them who left primary in the summer - they regularly have group video messages and I hear all sorts of laughter and stuff going on.

The only downside is that DS chooses to talk in random almost text-speak but worse in his messages which winds me up but he finds it funny!

I forgot to say, the phone has a SIM but no money on it so he can't use it as a phone for calls or data. It's effectively limited to wifi only.

Both my oldest 2 got phones at 10. We have always said 11, before high school, but both achieved something that meant easy contact home was favoured.

Mine are linked onto my Apple account (I know yours is android) and they don’t have the password, I have to approve all purchases.

Do set the tone now for use in bedroom etc as they get trickier as they get older