Constantly feeling anxious and on edge

[Bjones123]

So, I have a real issue with sleep and lack of it at the moment as 16 week old baby is wanting to be held all the time. Fine during the day as I use a sling but I'm not coping at night.

This is leading me to feel anxious and overwhelmed by everything and constantly feel like I'm about to have an anxiety attack.

How do I sort this out as I'm really not coping with it all right now?

You go to GP and ask about PND/ anxiety and ask about therapy or antidepressants.

You talk to your HV. Ask about a homestart referral

And your partner (if you have one). Or any friends or family to help.

You take it one day at a time.

Thank you for your reply. I don't think it's PND as it only ties in with lack of sleep. I've had therapy previous for separate issues and I don't think it'd help in this situation as it's more due to practicality and changes and antidepressants again wouldn't help as I'm not experiencing depressive symptoms.

Partner does help when he's not at work, I never find the HV here helpful nor the GP as when I was struggling more in the earlier days and telling them I couldn't cope they laughed it off.

I just keep trying to remind myself it won't last forever and it will get better!

It will get better as your baby gets into a sleep routine (which you should be trying to do now if you’re not).
But shocking that they ‘laughed off’ your earlier expressions of not coping.
Take it one day at a time, sleep when you can, ask for support from family if possible. Make sure your partner takes over with the baby at least for a few hours at weekends so you can get some rest. And get that baby on a routine.

@Bjones123 is there anybody that could take baby for afew hours so that you could have a sleep? Sleep deprivation is the worst and can make anxiety symtoms that would otherwise be manageable so much worse. I know I had a terrible time as my baby never slept and with breastfeeding and everything else I was like a zombie for the first couple of months and crazy with lack of sleep. As soon as I got sleep again and finished breastfeeding I recovered.

Also I know you said baby wants to be held all the time. Have you tried a nest such as a sleepy head that you can put baby in through the day supervised? This worked wonders for my child.

OP- many antidepressants deal with anxiety symptoms as well, as I'm sure you know

And the sleep deprivation was most definitely a trigger for my PND

A mobile over the moses basket helped us a bit.

Thank you all for the comments. The whole sleep routine thing is probably not going to work as she doesn't have a pattern and I don't want to force her into something.
Getting a break from her doesn't work either as she cries for others and is breastfed and will no longer take a bottle of EBM so that is more tricky!
I use a sling during the day and she will rest in that which means when I have the energy I can get some housework done.
We have a mobile over her cot, she became too big for the moses basket at about 4 weeks because she is super long.

I remember those days OP - it is so, so hard and overwhelming.

I remember once that I was so tired and exhausted with parenting that I rang my husband at work and I cried and cried down the phone and I told him he had to come home because I couldn’t cope anymore. I felt like I was completely out of my depth and that I had no idea what I was doing

I also had a cry to my HV about how I wasn’t coping with the baby needing to held all the time at night.

Suggestions she made that helped:

1. She told me to introduce sleeping bags as opposed to just having a light sheet over him in his cot like I was currently doing. She said that if I breast fed him to sleep whilst he was snug and warm in his bag it would be so much easier to then transfer him into his cot because there would no change to the texture against his body (from soft arms to a firm mattress) and no change to his temperature (cosy and snug in my arms to suddenly being uncontained and on a cold mattress.

2. Get the sheets for his cot and rub them all over my body so they smelt of me. This included hand expressing breast milk all over them too She said that if he put down to lie on a sheet that smells of me and my milk he would be less likely to stir because he was being tricked into thinking he was still on me.

My sons sleep was really bad up until about 9 months but with the above tips it did mean I could put him down at night and he’d stay in his cot for about 2.5 hours before waking for a feed and then sleep for another 2.5 hours etc etc. It still wasn’t ideal but definitely better than having to sit up al night with him.

Last night my husband came through and managed to get her back to sleep and then didn't get back to sleep so I felt awful that he was at work in the morning.

I've been using sleeping bags for a few months now as she has always been super wriggly and would end up with her head where her feet should be so I didn't feel blankets etc were safe. I definitely noticed a difference when I initially started using them so I'm hoping she's just a bit more unsettled at present and it'll pass.

I'd thought about putting some milk on a sheet or rubbing on me to scent but I worried it'd be unclean for her, but it's worth a go and I can just change it each day as I have enough sheets.

I was coping when she would do that initial stretch of a few hours and then could cope with waking numerous times but to not be getting that as she wakes as soon as I put her in the cot no matter what I try is exhausting. I think it's karma that I didn't sleep as a baby!

OP my baby wouldnt take a bottle either but the MAM Starter Cup with Soft Non Spill Spout 150 ml saved us! It is perfect for breastfed babies and he took to it straight away at 4 months old. You can buy it in Boots but it's a better deal on Amazon and lives up to its fantastic reviews.

www.mothercare.com/cups-and-beakers/mam-150ml-starter-cup-with-soother-0-months---blue/553849.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIkObvoqif5QIVWud3Ch3W6AhBEAQYBCABEgLAavD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

This is it ^