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Franny....please will you help me with ideas for play for DS.

31 replies

TheodoresMummy · 14/08/2007 20:49

I'm thinking along the lines of heuristic (sp)/natural play.

I saw the recent thread, but it's huge and much of it will be aimed at younger ones, I suspect.

DS is 3.9 and wants constant attention, always has. He sometimes gets caught up in something (usually trains) and plays for 5/10 minutes, but then realises that i'm not 'involved' and starts....

I am hoping that a different approach to play might capture his imagination.

He currently only wants to play with his trains or his sandpit and, to be honest (although I love playing with him and happily accept that the adult gives and the 3 year old takes ), it's getting to me.

Any ideas ?

Obviously, anyones ideas will be most welcome, it's just that Franny seems to know about natural play and DS has always preferred things to toys.

Many thanks.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Rhubarb · 14/08/2007 20:58

bubble wrap.
bucket of water and empty containers.
Fill a bucket with washing up bubbles.
Hole punch (ds, 3.5 loves my hole punch).
Safety scissors and a magazine.

Or failing those, I find CBeebies usually works!

MaloryTowersHasManners · 14/08/2007 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rhubarb · 14/08/2007 21:02

mud pies!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

compo · 14/08/2007 21:02

making a den in the lounge

constancereader · 14/08/2007 21:03

I think Franny said she was off on holiday.

Not really sure if this is age appropriate for your ds, but have you thought about making dens? In lots of reception and nursery classes now they have kits (with pegs and cloth etc), but you can just use blankets etc. This might need a little too much adult input inside an ordinary house though.. You could make it a place only for him, not for boring grown ups iyswim.

constancereader · 14/08/2007 21:04

x post

I could learn from your economic wording compo!

Rhubarb · 14/08/2007 21:05

My ds also likes play dough, or pastry. I usually give him scraps of leftover pastry with scone cutters and he can play for a good half hour with those whilst I finish tea.

Bubble99 · 14/08/2007 21:11

A Cafe. Get some white paper plates and DS can draw/colour his favourite meals on them ie. Sausages, chips, peas etc.

When you've got a pile of plates with mains and desserts drawn onto them, give DS some menu-sized plain pieces of white paper or card. He can then 'write' his menu in drawings, so he'd draw a circle (plate) on the menu and draw his sausages or whatever on to that.

In the end you'll have a menu and a pile of corresponding plates and you will end up being a customer (the nice part as you can sit on your butt and 'eat') Be sure to change your mind many times and send the waiter back to the kitchen to change the meal and hours can pass.

Rhubarb · 14/08/2007 21:12

I'm teaching my ds farting songs.

Bubble99 · 14/08/2007 21:14

In French, I hope, rhuby?

Rhubarb · 14/08/2007 21:14

bien sûr!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/08/2007 21:15

DD loves playdough still. Tesco do a fab bargain bucket with lots of moulds and extruders.

Bubble99 · 14/08/2007 21:15

Tres bien.

TheodoresMummy · 14/08/2007 21:22

Thanks, some good ideas.

Hadn't thought of den-making. Nice one.

He does love water and pouring. He always has his watering can on the go when we are in the garden. I will get a bucket and some other containers (diff sizes). I reckon he would love pouring from one thing to another. (and he might do that on his own for a bit ]).

He doesn't like painting/play doh/drawing.... don't think he has the patience. He is a whirlwind.

I wonder why he wants me to play all the time. Others I know don't seem to have this issue.

Rhubarb - 'I usually give him scraps of leftover pastry with scone cutters and he can play for a good half hour' - am sooooo jealous !!! Am I horrible for feeling this way ?

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TheodoresMummy · 14/08/2007 21:29

Bubble - fab idea !!! Don't think DS will go for it for a minute, but what a fab game !!!

Will also try hole punch. That's the sort of thing he will be fascinated by and won't need me for (for a bit ).

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TheodoresMummy · 14/08/2007 21:34

We live close to a park and we go almost daily. Swings, slide, take his scooter, take football and tennis racket + ball.

And he goes to nursery 3 a-noons a week. Apparently he seeks out the adults to play with...

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funnypeculiar · 14/08/2007 21:40

Have you read F&Zs Document? her suggestions for older toddlers (ie multiple items + multiple containers) kept ds amused for AGES

Also, have you read How to Talk so kids listen & listen so kids talk?
Not about play, but there's a chapter on encouraging independance that I found really useful

TheodoresMummy · 14/08/2007 21:49

I have just bought that book, funnypeculiar. Thanks for the tip.

No, I haven't read the document, but have heard of it.

Will get it when Franny returns from her hols - (how very dare she !!!!)

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funnypeculiar · 14/08/2007 21:53

The essence of it for older kids is:

  • lots of things (eg 50 + bunches of keys/wooden clothes pegs etc) plus 10 plus containers. What ds has loved most is a mix of curtain rings, polished pebbles, loo rolls, wodden spoons, saucepans, cake tins etc etc the theory is that you just let them get on with it - no showing them how etc

HTH

TheodoresMummy · 14/08/2007 22:17

Thank you all !!!

If you think of anything else, keep it coming....

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FrannyandZooey · 15/08/2007 18:39

Hi TheodoresMummy, I got here in the end. A lovely friend of mine has a son called Theodore so I always think of her when I see your name

I have been thinking about what heuristic play means, for older children, a lot this month and I am still trying to work it out myself. Here are some ideas that I hope might help (I see a lot of them are already on this thread - some great ideas - but I'm going to recap anyway so I can refer back to this if I want to).

First of all here is the section on older children and heuristic play from my ideas document:

"Large collections of natural and household objects are used, for instance, 100 curtain rings, 20 cardboard tubes, 10 mug trees. The children interact with the materials in whatever ways they choose, learning about cause and effect as they roll, stack, fill, sort and transport the objects. Because a large number of each object is provided, sharing issues are avoided and even a group of possessive toddlers can play side by side with little or no conflict. Elinor Goldschmied recommends this type of play for those up to 2 years old, but I have found that it intrigues children up to the age of 3 and beyond (although banging the materials and running about with them does tend to replace some of the more thoughtful endeavour at this age).

The materials are stored in drawstring bags, and tidying up at the end of the session can form an agreeable part of the activity. This sort of play takes dedication to recreate at home, but is strangely addictive once you begin collecting, and is a marvellous distraction for either individuals or groups of children on rainy days. Suggested items include:

Jar lids Bunches of keys
Wooden pegs Drinking straws
Curtain rings Seashells
Ribbons Ping pong balls.

You will need ideally at least 50 of each item plus at least 10 each of your choice of the following containers:

Large tins Straw baskets
Cardboard tubes Mug trees and kitchen roll holders
Wooden or bamboo bowls Wooden or cardboard boxes.

Choose an appealing combination of objects for each session. Balls and tubes are always a popular combo, as are curtain rings or bracelets and mug trees. You will no doubt devise your own favourites."

You could extend this list by adding more natural objects: collections of pine cones, pebbles, sticks, and feathers, leaves, etc. If you have access to a garden, park, field or beach where you can allow him to play with water, mud, sand, sticks, grass, leaves and twigs etc in the way he wants to then that is a fantastic source of exploratory play. We recently realised our garden was dull and had no places where ds could just muck about and make a mess. We've altered it a lot, and decided that a messy garden is a small price to play for a lot of peace, while ds mixes sand with mud and water, digs in the earth, sprinkles sand on the patio, makes patterns with stones and sticks and so on. I highly recommend allowing lots of free play in the garden and free access to natural materials without worrying about keeping things tidy.

Other sensory exploratory materials that are fun, are cooked spaghetti, jelly, oats, shredded paper, rice, etc. If you have a sand pit on legs you can change the sand for some of these materials from time to time. Some containers and spoons help them play for longer, but do encourage play with hands as well. Younger toddlers especially like this although of course it all goes in the mouth.

More in a minute, this post is getting too long

FrannyandZooey · 15/08/2007 18:52

Other open ended materials are clay, playdough, bread dough, etc. Making large amounts of your own playdough (I have a nice recipe if you want one) seems to be much more satisfying and results in a longer play session IME than the little piddly pots of it. Plus you are less likely to care if they mix all the colours up [shock horror]

This combines nicely with cooking play - you used to be able to get a lovely set from ELC with a real little wooden chopping board, metal utensils, pastry cutter, wooden rolling pin, etc. I can't see it now but I am sure you could find similar things. A china tea set with real tea (milk?) or water to pour is a lovely thing for role play and discovering about pouring.

As well as sand in a sand pit, fine sand in salt shakers on a tray is a lovely activity. It's mesmerising to watch it fall as they sprinkle it, and they can then make patterns / draw / write in it with their fingers on the tray.

For playing with water, get some syringes (from chemist), plastic tubing (B+Q), funnels (kitchen shop) as well as the usual teapot, containers, sieve, etc. This keeps ds occupied for ages. It's best in the bath IMO, so they have loads of water to play with and don't have to worry about any spills.

Wooden building bricks are another great open ended toy. What you are looking for is toys that don't have to be played with in a particular way or that lead to a particular outcome. Or toys that let the child discover certain principles for themselves by using them - ie if you pour a lot of water quickly from the teapot, the cup overflows. You don't need to step in and explain how to pour correctly as the child can see for themselves when the cup is too full. Or maybe they wanted it to overflow - it's up to them.

I hope some / any of these ideas are helpful. I will add more if they occur to me.

FrannyandZooey · 15/08/2007 18:56

Oh painting in the garden with big decorator's brushes and a bucket of water! You can add food colouring to the water to make this more exciting. They can paint all over the patio / fence / bricks and it doesn't stain permanently (well, not so as I have noticed, anyway). This is a great activity for when a group of friends come round IME. Big brushes are cheap from places like Wilkinson's.

XcupcakemummyX · 15/08/2007 19:03

my ds is the same age
also a whirlwind,and does not play on his own, also prefers adults or babies,

we do water play with different mixers

rubbings with coins and leaves

playdough using my scales and various safe kitchen things

cutting old magazines

outside a big pot of water and becomes a decorater using an old paint brush

inside a squidgy and he is a window cleaner

good luck

FrannyandZooey · 15/08/2007 19:08

Yes I did want to say about the not playing alone thing - don't worry

ds is 4.4 and has only just started to play alone for longish periods

he would however concentrate on most of the above suggestions for reasonable length of time if an adult joined in or even sat near him giving him quiet attention

Have you tried "play listening"? Where you sit nearby and don't exactly join in, but just comment on what you are noticing about his play. "You're pouring the sand. You're using the big funnel now. You're pouring it very slowly." etc, trying not to make suggestions, judgements or corrections. It can feel funny at first but some children respond very well to it.

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