Undermined

[bluebunny123]

So I'm having issues with my mum and her partner. Since dd was born they've done so much for us both. Money, clothing you name it they've helped us out massively.
Problem is whenever me and dd are around them I feel like a crappy parent.

They often take over where dd is concerned. My mum acts as though she's her child and she doesn't even notice she's doing it. I've brought this up with her previously and she got upset and was off with me. Her partner can't say no to dd and it's making dd quite spoilt.
If I tell her off for something her comeback is I'm going to tell them and they'll let me do it.
She doesn't take me seriously because she thinks they're in charge.

How on earth do I get my child to realise I'm her parent not them? I feel bad considering they've done so much and continue to do so. It's like because they do all this it gives them the right to override my decisions.
They like to always be in control generally and this is moving onto mine and dd life too.
Any advice?

No advice but my DM can be a bit like this, she’s done a lot for us too but earlier today I had to ask her to step down as I’m the parent again, she was speaking on my behalf and talking over me when I was answering questions about my DS. It’s really hard to tell your parents they can’t ‘parent’ you being a parent. They need to leave you to bring your DD up the way you want to with no interference.

That would drive me crazy, my Mum was a bit like this but I don't see her often, I pulled her up on it harshly and she stopped. Can you do without the financial help? it sounds a bit conditional if you feel bad asking them to stop treading all over you as a parent because of it. How old is your dd?

Think I'm going to have to put some space between us too. It's the only way I see it getting any better. She's 4 so at that age where she's getting a bit of an attitude so it's made worse by them.

We were out at the weekend and it was colder than I thought it would be. Dd was dressed in leggings, long sleeve top, raincoat and trainers. They made this big thing about how she must be freezing all because her hand were cold. They're always cold. We then had to go into a shop to buy a hoodie and some long socks. I was fine with this. Then they started on about getting gloves and how she should be wearing a vest.
I was fuming it made me feel so shit. Like I can't even dress her right. They must have known by my face i wasn't happy because they asked what was wrong. I said i thought it was a bit ott and that she would be fine once she was running about. Apparently i have to make sure she's warm