4 year old social skills

[KCpip]

Are there any parents out there with a child who worried about their pre-schoolers social skills then they came good later?
My DD is 4. She has a little group of friends she knows because I chat to the mums but I feel like she’s never created her own bonds at pre-school. She still tends to play alongside these kids rather than fully engaging with them in play. When I see her at parties or pick her up from pre-school she’s usually by herself. Quite content. Enjoying play in most ways you would expect but I do worry that now she’s approaching 4.5yrs she should have developed some friendships. Interested to know anyone else’s experiences.

Following, my DS is 4 at the end of the year. He actively seeks out children to play with often at the park, softplay etc but I don't think he made any friendships at pre school (age 2 and 3/4 to 3 and a 1/2) and he's now been at school nursery for a month. They say he was reserved at first and playing alongside but he is starting to engage in playing with MORE, which is encouraging. But I do see that others seem to have "made friends" at drop off etc so I do wonder still.

What is your DD like if there's no one else to play with eg at the park/softplay? Will she seek someone out, or just play on her own? This is where my DS seems really confident approaching individual children so I have hope he'll make friends in nursery school eventually...

She will play with other kids at park or soft play. I wouldn’t say she goes out of her way to do it. Sometimes I’ll say why don’t you play with that little boy/girl? And she’ll happily follow my instruction and go over and start playing. Being a mum of two I don’t spend a lot of time with friends these days. I know it sounds daft but I sometimes worry I’m not setting a good social example. I do invite kids over for little play dates here and there but often they play for a bit and then both kids are just back to me (and their mum) as if the play has wound up. Just don’t know if this is normal behaviour at this age.

My DD was like this until she was in Year 1. She would play by herself and didn't seem to have her own gang of friends but would just play with whoever was stood next to her. I was concerned.

In Year 2 she seemed to develop friendships very quickly. She's still very independent though and will do her own thing if she doesn't want to follow what the others are doing. I'm quite proud of her single mindedness now.

I do understand your concerns but think you're worrying prematurely.