Mum guilt

[Buffy81]

I know that there are proberbly loads of posts about this sort of thing, bu am feeling really guilty at the moment.

My eldest ds is 5. he is struggling at school just started yr 1 so since middle if reception he has a Individual Learning Plan. His nursery really let him down as it turned out that he has poor motor skills so found it very hard to hold a pencil and scissors. HIs nursery never told us that there were any problems so we didn't know any different especially with him being my first

When it comes to doing things like spellings and reading which have to be done every night as they get tested on once a week with spellings, he wont always apply himself so I end up getting frustrated as I know he is not always like it school

Am sure there are other things that are making me feel guilty at the mo, just cant remember what they are

Some times I just feel like I cant right for doing wrong. Dose it ever get any easier. Do dads suffer from dad guilt? Is that such a thing?

Do dads suffer from dad guilt
Not in my experience no. I know some deeply average dads who think they're marvelous and some fantastic mothers who tear their hair out over a shop bought costume.

My ds is in year 1 too, when do you do reading and spellings? We don't specifically sit and learn spellings, we just practise as we're walking/in the bath etc. I find that ds needs some time to chill out straight after school but gets too crabby later on so we do reading book straight after tea, he doesn't get up from the table so there's no dragging him to it, we do the same everyday so he's used to it.

The transition to Year 1 is a bastard. I have a very able but quite lazy boy and the first half of Year 1 was a trial. Tantrums over reading, intentionally bad reading, unwillingness to try difficult words, battles over homework.

I think honestly he was overwhelmed and a bit knackered - new teacher, much more structured days. He was brilliant at school and it all came out at home.

He’s just started Year 3 and I found Year 2 so much easier and this is better again. No battles over reading and homework as it’s part of the routine and he understands the consequences of not doing it. He really applies himself and most of the time I really enjoy reading with him. It helps that the books are more interesting than dreary old Sid and his gran!

You are his safe space where he can let out his tiredness and frustration. That is a good thing - it means he trusts you and feels safe to behave like that with you.

My DH does a very good line in dad guilt, and we are both doing it at the moment with our second as we (naturally) don’t do nearly as much with him as we did with the eldest! But he is happy and well-adjusted and is getting on fine at nursery so we need to let it go and just do what we can.

Sorry its taken me a few days to reply, have had poorly boys.

In response to @InDubiousBattle by time we both get home from work its about 6pm sob y then hs is starting to get a bit on the tired side. At the weekend, we are able to get it done in the morning when he is more willing to do stuff. I do try to do them in the morning in the car on the way to breakfast club

@JassyRadlett agree with the transition period. I was talking to the lady who runs the breakfast and after school club as her little girl is in the same year and we were both saying that maybe in reception they should start to have less play based learning so that they are a bit more used to the work load that would be going on in yr 1

Also agree with not being able to have much time with 2nd lb, mine is only 8 months so can be hard when it comes to doing spellings and home work as trying to keep the baby away as he is constantly climbing up on stuff