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Original poster

Baby struggling at nursery

7 replies

eyebagsandgladrags · 07/10/2019 17:00

Feeling heartbroken and so guilty. I've just started back at work part-time and today was my daughter's third full day at nursery (she's almost 9 months). She seemed ok last week but has been in a terrible state today - crying for much of the day, refusing to eat or drink anything (she's had a couple of ounces of milk, but that's it). She's very attached to me and I knew this would be hard, but I can't even contemplate dropping her off again tomorrow. The nursery is lovely and the staff are brilliant, but she's so little - she just needs to be with her mum.

Is it terrible form of me to request half a day's holiday at short notice so she just does a couple of hours tomorrow instead of the whole day? I don't have the most sympathetic boss in the world, but my baby is, obviously, my priority. Does anyone have any other advice? I feel so guilty, I just don't know the best thing to do.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Napqueen1234 · 07/10/2019 17:04

If you can do that and you’d feel better then absolutely do it. All I can do is reassure you- my DD started nursery at 7 months and it was hard, a lot of guilt, tears at drop off. Within a fairly short time she absolutely loved it formed a fab relationship with her key worker. Dropping her now age 2 where she runs in to see her friends and proudly tells me what she’s done all day when I pick her up I wish I could have seen the future when I was in your position. It will get better, remember you’re dropping her at a (probably very expensive!) professional place who are experts in caring for children and babies and will be so so used to this and able to support her

calmalamadown · 07/10/2019 17:05

How long has her settling in period and build up to full days been?

Rosebud1302 · 07/10/2019 22:15

Oh OP. I was EXACTLY where you were a few months ago. My son is such a mummy's boy and has always been so sensitive. Especially around other babies. I knew he would struggle. And he did. He cried in the car on the way there, cried when I handed him over and cried on and off throughout the day. It absolutely broke my heart taking him and I was close to not taking him back (the nursery and staff were also fantastic I hasten to add).

Well, let me tell you I am SO glad I continued. He now loves it! He goes to them quite happily in the morning and has double portions of all meals 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ he sleeps really well and has the most amazing days. He looks so happy when I come to pick him up like he has been having so much fun. And his development since going has been incredible.

Nursery isn't for all children - I think my nursery said it can take up to 3 months or so for part time babies to feel happier. I didn't ever think my son would enjoy it but he does. I hope that gives you some hope! X

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Chocmallows · 07/10/2019 22:35

My DD was awful in nursery, went at 9 months and never napped, cried lots. Settled a bit better at preschool, then nightmare to settle at school. Now 13 and fine in secondary, takes everything in her stride.

My point... I worried so much, but she had to find her own way. Logically she was in a lovely nursery and primary and now recalls all her nursery and school days as great fun. DS brought up the same way, no problems in nursery. There may be nothing you can do, but give it time!

Original poster

eyebagsandgladrags · 08/10/2019 09:02

Thank you for the reassuring messages - feeling a little better reading them. She already seems to like her key worker (huge smiles when we take her in, holding her arms out) and I'm sure she'll settle in and will love it eventually. I knew this would be hard, but I didn't expect to feel this bad! Hopefully today is better. I'm poised to collect her early if needed!

OP posts:

MeadowHay · 08/10/2019 09:07

I would ask the nursery for advice because they will have seen it all before and they can guide you on what the best things to do would be to settle her in. It may be that it would take less time to settle her if she spends more time there now, I know that might be hard for you to accept though. I don't know but worth asking them. My DD started nursery at 9 months as well and she settled in ok, she ate ok right from the start and she was a bit off her milk the first couple of weeks and cried a fair bit the first couple of weeks but quickly settled. She's 15m old now and loves nursery.

Gillian1980 · 08/10/2019 09:09

Aw, I really empathise op.

Dd cried at drop off and pick up for weeks and weeks, it was awful. But she got used to it and stayed at the nursery happily for 3.5 years.

Ds is due to start at the same nursery in the spring and although I have every confidence in the place and the staff, I’m dreading it as I remember how hard the early days were.

I’m sure things will get better soon

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