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Parenting

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Original poster

Leaving baby

34 replies

sh13 · 06/10/2019 21:50

When did you first leave your baby overnight or for the day-say with your parents or in-laws ? My baby is 4 months and I know people are desperate to babysit but the thought of leaving him makes me feel really anxious. I’m breastfeeding till six months anyway and then was planning a morn an eve feed only, but who knows if that’ll work. I forced myself to let my mum take baby for a walk but even then I was so anxious. Am I overly attached ?

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welshsoph · 07/10/2019 07:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Daffodil2018 · 07/10/2019 07:42

I'll only be leaving her for the day for the first time when she is 12 months and I go back to work.

We plan to leave her overnight with my parents when we go to a wedding overseas next year. She'll be 18 months by then. We'll make a final decision near the time though.

LL83 · 07/10/2019 07:53

I dont think anyone is super excited to have a baby over night. That's the hardest bit, my mum would have taken my baby overnight to give me a break but it wouldn't be her ideal time to take them, she would rather an hour or two in the afternoon if it was for her benefit.

Why does the person want to babysit? Is it to help you? Then no thank you is fine if you don't need/want it.
Is it to have one on one time with baby? Then for a close member of family I would try and facilitate it. Maybe watch baby in my house while I have a shower/nap or pop to shops for an hour. If that is too much then even just let them be more hands on with baby when they visit.

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HoneyBee03 · 07/10/2019 13:26

I left my son for the first time for the evening until about 1am when he was 2 months old. He was breastfed but I expressed and it was totally fine. About once every 2 months from then on I would leave him with grandparents for the evening, then I left him for 4 days with my mum when he was 10 months old. It was lovely but I did miss him by day three! It was great for DH and I to get some time together as DS slept so badly for over a year. I went back to work when he was 10 months too and he goes to our lovely childminder 4 days a week. There is no normal, its whatever you're comfortable with.

theruffles · 07/10/2019 13:43

My DD is 15 months old and I've only left her overnight once so I could attend a work conference. She was with my DH but she hasn't stayed over with anyone yet, even grandparents. I don't feel quite ready to let her stay over with anyone else yet, even if a lie-in would be nice!

Harrysmummy246 · 07/10/2019 14:43

Just over an hour with my mum from about 5 months. Overnight? 21 mo but we were still bf till then and he really doesn't think daddy is an acceptable substitute

Minai · 09/10/2019 09:43

If you feel anxious leaving the baby then don’t. You don’t have to. You’re not overattached it’s normal to not want to be apart from your baby. I have a 2 year old and a baby. I’ve been away from my toddler 3 times. Twice was in hospital having the baby and one night after an operation, the other I went on a night away with some friends because I finally felt ready to leave them (baby not breastfed).

Leave the baby when you are ready to or you won’t enjoy it. The baby isn’t there for anyone else’s benefit so don’t feel like you have to leave them if you don’t want to.

Original poster

sh13 · 09/10/2019 09:46

Thanks everyone made me feel better I know it sounds silly saying am I overly attached it’s just it was such a traumatic birth that I have ptsd so I wondered if it had caused me to be to be over protective, but as you all pretty much feel the same as me it must be normal ! Il only leave him when I’m ready x

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hormonesorDHbeingadick · 09/10/2019 11:58

During the day at nursery when I went back to work when she was 11 months. Over night, just the once when she was 3yrs old and I was in labour with her younger sister.

But is does not matter what over people do, you need to do what’s right for your family and by that I mean you, your partner and children not what the wider family wants.

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