How to do bathtime on own with newborn and 14mo - seems impossible!

[Cazwa]

Im 7 months pregnant and have a 12mo and currently do most bath/bedtimes on my own as DH works evenings, often leaves the house at 6pm. We have a great routine going with DD who goes off to sleep no problem between 7-7.30pm. We've had a pretty strict routine of bit of Cbeebies, bath, PJs, book then BF/ now bottle, out like a light every time.

Im dreading the total chaos that I can see coming with no. 2 arriving. I remember last time up until DD was probably 6mo she was a complete nightmare from 5pm onwards, loads of grizzling and continuously crying once out the bath till she got boob in her mouth and would feed for half an hour or more. So, Im looking for tips on how to cope!

I imagine that you could put the youngest in the bath first and have oldest play in the bathroom with toys, its what you do with them whilst youngest is having a long feed that Im struggling with. I know some people might suggest you dont have to bath them every night, but its really worked for us as a routine and means we can go anywhere and do the same thing and get her off to sleep in strange houses. I also really want to BF again this time but am worried about the length of time it took to feed DD an how I keep her occupied /not wailing for my attention.

My friend who has just had a baby with a similar age gap was no help, shes never had to do bathtime on her own and says generally its a nightmare even with help.

Im also having a caesarean this time due to bad tear last time, so will still be physically challenged once DH has had his 2 weeks paternity leave. My parents live close by so can help, but I dont think I can expect them to do bathtime with me every night for 6 months! All advice welcome...

dont have bathtime every night. kids that age do not need a daily bath. mine rarely have a problem going to bed and their routine does not include one

I remember sitting on the toilet (seat down!) bf DD while my DSs (then 3 and 5) were in the bath. I had DS2 by CS when DS1 was 18mo but that was 4 years ago and I can't actually remember what I did but I'm sure it wasn't a big issue. Never had any help.

First off, truly, don't bother bathing the newborn every day, just top and tail. It's not like she'll be rolling in the mud and if it's never been part of her bedtime routine she won't miss it. Save bathing her as a special treat for DH at weekends while you have quality time with DD1, or do fun splashy (rather than sleepy) baths during the day while DD1 naps.

And a decent sling for the newborn, if possible one you can feed in, will help keep your hands free and the tiny quiet while bathing DD1...

did 2yr old with newborn twins and yes there was lots of crying - basicly i just couldn't bf them at that time - they just had to wait -or the bath did - i got them in the water and enjoying it at the same time as soon as poss - 3 in a bath is a lovely sight - i really understand because my ds1's routine was fab and i fought for it to remain that way - you can do it - a little crying doesn't hurt and you can bf with one hand until they get big!

I agree about don't bath every day. It isn't necessary.

Also want to add that baths don't have to be done at bedtime. Altho as grown-ups we find them relaxing, don't remember it having that effect on ds when he was toddling. So do baths maybe in the morning when dh is there?

Also, if your newborn is happy to sit/lie in his/her carseat/carry chair, then he/she can do that, watching you bath the older one.

ds is now nearly 2, dd is just 4. So a 26 month age gap.

With them, I'd bath ds in the morning until he was about 4 or 5 weeks old. Then I would bath him in his baby bath in the bathroom while dd in the bath (just until he was a bit more water comfortable). Then I'd whisk him out, and get him dressed and ready for bed before doing the same for dd while he kicked on the mat. Or cried!

Then I'd take both of them into my room and read to dd while he had a breast feed. He would usually fall asleep during the stories and I'd transfer him to the cot next to our bed before taking dd into her room for snuggle and then sleep.

When he was a bit older, he didn't sleep through the stories, and would get a bit too distracted to feed (more easily distracted than dd ever was). So I started to take dd into her room, get her settled there with her doll's house, or with a tape in her machine, while I fed ds in my room ad then put him into the cot. Quite often awake. Then would nip into dd, rush through a couple of stories (while listening out for ds). Once dd read to and in bed, back into our room to settle ds if he was still awake or to just arrange his covers. Sometimes ended up to-ing and fro-ing. Prob easier for me because dd older and more easily able to understand the interruptions.

HTH. You will find a way. Just roll with it and I'm sure you'll be fine.

OMG I was going to post the exact same question!!

The way I do it now, it takes 90 minutes start to finish. I feed the baby, give her a bath, finish feeding her, then put her to bed. While I'm doing this, older DS is watching Cbeebies in childproofed room.

Then DS gets a bath, bottle, and story. Luckily he goes to bed easily after this.

I do wonder though, if it's possible to bath them together. I also wonder if it's possible to put them to bed in the same room........

not to hijack just to help

15 months between my 2, managed bathtime every night on my own .

Organisation is the key!.

Have all night clothes, nappies and towels laid out on the bathroom floor before you put them in the bath.

Baby in bath seat so hands free!

Take baby out first, dry and clothe, if older child is happy I used to do one boob feed whilst sitting on the loo/floor of bathroom.

Put baby on the floor, dry and dress older child.

my dd1 was happy looking at books while I did the rest of the feed with baby, if she got bored I had tv & video with teletubbies on for standby.

when baby in bed, then story for olderchild.

Hard work, but not impossible.

The way Slubberdegullion suggested is the way I was goinf to suggest, agree with others though new baby doesn't need bathed every night TBH I think ds was probably bathes in the bath about once a week but topped and tailed the rest of the time. When they he got a bit bigger did them both together and still do I get him out first dress etc then get dd out. It is a bit of a scutter at first but does get easier.

24 months between my two DS and I've managed bedtime routine a few times on my own recently (DS2 is 4 months). I've found it helpful to breastfeed DS2 at 6pm while DS1 plays/ watches a bit of Cbeebies after his tea before bathing them both with DS2 in a bath seat. I don't breastfeed DS2 again before bed. This saves time and means he is well burped before he goes down. When he did have a bf at bedtime it took ages and never seemed to help settle him so in the end i just gave up and did it earlier.

Ah thank you, lots of good advice.

Good point about the baby not needing a bath or realising bath is part of bedtime routine. I'll probably avoid bath for youngest till they are 6 weeks or more. I remember feeling I was getting the hang of things by 6 weeks last time and DD wasnt feeding so erratically.

I also will accept that they will cry at some point. I have a pair of ear defenders (like labourers use) that my DH bought as a joke but actually we found them brilliant for dressing DD after getting her out of the bath and the wailing began. Just took the edge off the noise!

After reading through suggestions, I think I'll do the following after 6 weeks. I'll bath them both together, dress youngest in the bathroom whilst oldest is still in bath, she loves her baths. Then I'll dress oldest, trying to ignore wails of youngest. Take both through to bedroom and feed youngest whilst reading stories to oldest. Worse case put oldest in cot with bottle and take youngest to my bedroom to feed and put in crib.

At some point they will be in the same room. Not sure how that works but hey I'll find out soon enough!

Thanks again, I feel a bit less fearful

Parent to one child only here so totally unqualified to comment but remember also, not all babies are alike, DS was not an evening fusser, he did his fussing in the mornings!

So you never know

dont do bath every night
do bath time at different times for each child
ds1 was in reception when ds2 was little. so ds2 always had long leisurely bath followed by massage during school hours. ds1 had his in the evening.
dd was born when ds2 was 18 month.s she rarely had a bath except for essential cleanliness. only when she was old enough to sit in bath seat with borthers in bath did she have bathtime

Nothing is impossible!!!
I bath all 3 of mine together[alone] and its fine. The key is being prepared before you go into the bathroom. I take in towels for DS[3.10]dd1[19m]dd2[7m], pjsand nappies. While DD2 was tiny I used to wash her in the sink while the other 2 were in the bath. Now I put all 3 in together,wash hair wash them. Then Ds and DD1 play while I dry DD2 on the bathroom floor and put her pjs on. Then I get dd1 out and dry her and pjs on then ds is last. Get a really good bath support for the new baby
You will be fine and it will work out. Also if they have a night or two off from bath then thats fine!

Message withdrawn

Im super-organised when it comes to the whole bathtime thing so should be ok. Me and DH even say to each other 'have you prepped the nursery and bathroom' when he has a night off and does it or helps.

I have a great bath support which will fit in the bath with DD in too, so that should be fine. You are right icod, do them together. Dress one at a time. Muddle on from there!

I pretty much did what Slubber did but like Cod, held the baby. Even when DC3 arrived, I had a 1yo a 2yo and a newborn in the bath together. (They still bath together now, aged 3, 4 & 5 - it's quicker!).

Have towels near though, so if one of them has an unscheduled poo, you can whisk them all out and wrap them in towels, and then dry & dress them.

I often found that it was the newborn that went to bed last as they took longest to settle, would cuddle or feed the baby whilst reading toddlers book.

The first weeks will be a bit bumpy as you learn to juggle, it's not the end of the world if the baby has to scream because you're busy drying your toddler. It'll soon settle down.

Quick swish in the bath for baby, to clean up, last in, first out, and a bit of bonding as suggested.
Clean bits and cuddle in towel in bathroom, while older one has a splash about and some company.

Message withdrawn

Cure dance moves? You mean shuffle it's feet a tiny bit whilst staring at the floor?

Agree totally with Slubber and Cod. Key is to get a baby bath seat, so you can have both hands free. Get DD to help "wash" the new baby, lovely bonding time. Get baby out first and dry, then toddler. BF baby while reading to DD1, or while watching CBeebies with DD1 (shift her routine about a bit, but do it now so she's used to it before the baby arrives). Splitting the baby's feed is good, so half before the bath, then half after. That way it's not so long for DD1 to sit through (and you might get more down the baby that way too!!)

I used to then stick DS2 in his cot to kick a bit, while I read DS1 a story (quickly!!) on his own, as I thought that was still important, as he'd had enough upheaval as it was. He thought DS2 was in bed going to sleep, so was quite happy, then once DS1 was sorted, go back to DS2 and finish the feed. Worked most of the time, sometimes DS2 cried in his cot (just have to ignore it, it was only 5 minutes - and now he settles in his cot like a dream, so must work!!), or sometimes he'd fall asleep!

The first time I did bath and bed on my own, I worried about it for days. In the end, it was totally fine. And you do at least get a rest when it's over!!!

Good luck!

absolutely agree, don't do bathtime everynight, not necessary.

Just wanted to update this thread on how Ive got on - its all worked out fine!

I had a little boy who is now 11 weeks and Ive had many a bathtime on my own with him and his big sis, now 16mo.

I have worked out the following with a bit of trial and error and advice from above:

• give baby half feed whilst watching Cbeebies
• have towels laid out on bathroom floor, nappies and PJs alongside
• put baby in bathseat and DD in bath next to him
• baby comes out first, get ready for bed then leave to cry/wiggle
• finish DDs bath and get her ready on towel alongside baby (looks super cute her lying next to little bro)
• take both through to my bedroom for remainder of feed for him and bottle for her with books when shes finished on double bed (this is such a lovely experience, its taken me by suprise how much I and they love it)
• put him in crib by my bed with mobile on
• take DD through to her room, read couple more stories then into bed
• come back through and settle/feed baby more if not already asleep

DONE! First few times my heart was pounding and Id stress all afternoon about it, but now its absolutely fine and I truly enjoy it.

Thanks again for all the advice, hope my experience can be of some help to others.

Good Lord - you are all aking me feel terribly inferior!
My bath time routine has decended into chaos since ds2 was born 19 weeks ago!
I have dd 6.6yrs, ds 5 yrs, dd 2.4 yrs and baby ds, and i only managed a near successful bath time on my own today - all in together! Run around naked as i wash them and get them out one by one. I then chase them all over the upstairs trying to get them dressed - although eldest dd is very sensible and sorts herself out first before winding the other two up!
We then had a 10 minute hairdryer fight and forgot to bathe the baby.
This was my success! The baby is now asleep and still filthy!
Bathtime is a big anxiety of mine at the mo. I am sure i am not doing it right!
But at least they are nearly clean, most of the time