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Original poster

What name do you use with your child for their genitals?

128 replies

Flappergirl86 · 05/10/2019 08:40

I was raised to call them Willies or Fannies. Though I was recently informed that 'fanny' is more of a swear word. 'Vagina' feels weird to teach a kid but I also dont wanna be really twee and call it something that implies its shameful or not what it is! (Ie privates or tuppance).
What words(s) do other mums use so their daughters are clear on what their anatomy is called? Should I just get over myself and call it a vagina?

For the record, I call my own various words I wouldn't want my daughter to repeat! Ha!

I think it's important because if she ever had an issue down there or, God Forbid, anything were to happen to her, she'd be able to communicate it to me or another grown up without anything being lost in translation or misconstrued. Shes only 2 and a bit.

OP posts:
TheSandman · 05/10/2019 14:37

'Front Bums' was popular for a while with my girls when they were younger. Then they became 'bits' - just so I could say 'just do a quick do a quick pits tits and bits' when they were reluctant to have a shower.

Boychild (10) refers to his penis.

DonnaDarko · 05/10/2019 14:40

With DS we use the proper names.

He really surprised the nursery staff a few weeks ago when he told them "I need to do a wee wee from my penis", cos apparently all the other kids use 'cutesy' names.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 05/10/2019 14:51

Boys - willy
Girls - winkle

My DC has very good almost adult like speech for a 3 year old but I still wouldn't want them coming out with "vulva" - my DH can barely manage to say that word so I can't expect DC to 😬🤣

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sunshineandshowers21 · 05/10/2019 14:54

my kids know the correct names but we’ve always said tails and tutus. as long as they know the proper terms then i don’t think it matters what they call them in everyday life.

Episcomama · 05/10/2019 15:14

My DC has very good almost adult like speech for a 3 year old but I still wouldn't want them coming out with "vulva" - my DH can barely manage to say that word so I can't expect DC to 😬🤣 WTF is wrong with your husband that a two-syllable word gives him trouble. Good grief!

LazyFace · 05/10/2019 15:29

I feel it's weird fo use the 'correct' ie latin terminology. So why do you use proper English words for 'knees' and 'eyes' and not their latin equivalent?
Vulva, vagina and penis is something I'd use at the doctors.
I'm not a native speaker but I don't understand the lack of acceptable everyday, kid-friendly words for privates.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 05/10/2019 15:31

@Episcomama
He's the sort of man who wouldnt ask me how my "vulva"was doing after a recent round of ivf - nothing wrong with that at all!

I wouldn't dream of using the word in conversation so I'm not going to expect that of my DC

You sound the smug sort who uses anatomical names for everything 🤔

donquixotedelamancha · 05/10/2019 15:42

We also call knees ‘knees’ and eyes ‘eyes’.

Eww. How can you do that? We call knees wha-waas and eyes peek-a-boos.

I can't imagine my child talking about their 'eyes' in public, how embarrassing.

So why do you use proper English words for 'knees' and 'eyes' and not their latin equivalent?

The correct medical term for the eye is: the eye. It's derived from Germanic roots but that doesn't make it less proper. Most English words have either Germanic or Latin roots.

Do you think there is another word for the vulva? If so, what?

All people are suggesting is to use the normal word for body parts.

Episcomama · 05/10/2019 15:45

You sound the smug sort who uses anatomical names for everything 🤔

Not for everything. Just anatomy.

Nonmotherof3 · 05/10/2019 16:53

Willy/minnie or just 'ya bits'

LazyFace · 05/10/2019 16:54

itwaslovely The medical term for eyes is oculus, actually.
Everyday language uses eyes for eyes but doesn't seem to have a word for female genitals that's not considered sweary, childish of euphemistic.

WombatChocolate · 05/10/2019 16:57

I think children need to know the correct term, but to be critical of families or children who use other names is daft and often not consistent either.

Most families don’t refer to the anus as the anus. Many use bum or butt or arse or bottom. Children don’t usually tell their parents they have a sore or itchy anus. Likewise they say tummy ache.

There might be a wider variety of names for female anatomy and some might consider some of them twee, but why is it an issue or different to referring to a willy or a bum. They should know the right words but each family can have preferred slang.

If children need to reveal information about abuse, their choice of word really won’t be a barrier - so all this as a reason for always using anatomically correct words is just daft. Beyond 4/5 you’d expect children to know the right word anyway even if they don’t regularly use it.

And if you think some terms are twee, don’t use them but no need to cringe if others do.

Aragog · 05/10/2019 17:01

Whilst 'nicknames' for genitals are fine at home it is also very important to teach children, even from a young age, the correct terminology.

I teach small children in an infant school and often children will tell us they are sore in certain areas. When they use 'nicknames' it isn't always clear what they mean and can cause confusion. I have heard assorts of names used over the years and some I haven't had a clue!

Now should the worse happen, or they have a proper issue in that area, it is far better if children are able to understand the correct terminology - certainly by the time they start school.

my DH can barely manage to say that word so I can't expect DC

Have you actually married a grown up adult?!

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/10/2019 17:02

My God !!!!!!!!!!!!!! what kind of child calls there private area a Vulva , what planet do you all live on

The Planet of Single Exclamation Marks. It's a good planet.

DD has also known since 3 that babies are in a woman's uterus. Not tummies, because they would dissolve in stomach acid. We like facts in this house.

Aragog · 05/10/2019 17:06

If u told your kid to call there vulva a flower or whatever u call it then I'm sorry but if she said my uncle touched my flower u would know exactly what they were talking about

But would another adult this was disclosed to know?
There is ambiguity. The uncle may genuinely have touched a daffodil the child was holding, or held her drawing of a sunflower. Or it could be much worse.
Hence the need for children to know and understand the correct terminology.

Aragog · 05/10/2019 17:07

For me - I think willy is good for penis

I agree - there is no ambiguity. It seems the female anatomy is the biggest issue.
Why have we got into a situation where we are so coy about the female body?!?

hardyloveit · 05/10/2019 17:41

Never heard anyone's child call it a vulva.
I was brought up using willy and fairy and both my dds call it a willy and a fairy. When they are older will tell them the correct terms.

Worked in a nursery years ago and never heard any kids use vulva or vagina. It was all minnies, mooie, fairy, fanny etc

donquixotedelamancha · 05/10/2019 17:48

itwaslovely The medical term for eyes is oculus, actually.

I assume that's directed at me, not itwaslovely?

You make my point with your next paragraph. Oculus is the Latin word (and indeed used in disease names) but it is not the 'correct' word for eyes in English, even amongst doctors. Eye is the norm in almost any context. Contrast that with the Pinna which would be used in addition to Ear because it conveys more precise meaning.

Vulva is the norm for vulva, penis even more so. Latin origin is not more correct (or more smug).

Aragog · 05/10/2019 18:14

Worked in a nursery years ago and never heard any kids use vulva or vagina.

Vulva, vagia and penis are used fairly often at the infant school I work at. Mind, we are very close to the teaching hospitals and universities though, and we tend to find the medics and medic students are very clear on using correct words for this areas of the body.

riotlady · 05/10/2019 18:19

We use vagina. I know vulva is technically more correct for the general area but I’ve never used the word vulva and it’s hard to get into the habit! Vagina gets the point across anyway

Parsley65 · 05/10/2019 18:53

First time I heard 'front bottom' I knew I wouldn't be going down that route!
We use willy and gina (rhymes with China)
Both slang, but 'child friendly' 😆

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 05/10/2019 18:55

@Aragog
Does your DH use the term vulva then in conversation with you?!

fedup21 · 05/10/2019 19:17

Vagina gets the point across anyway

It’s not right though!

I’d rather mine knew what the correct terms were and just used ‘bits’ in conversation, than use the wrong words!

onthebusoctopus · 05/10/2019 19:23

Willy, but he knows it’s called a Penis. Fufu for a vulva, but he also knows it’s called a Vulva. He just prefers to use them words and that’s fine.

MerryDeath · 05/10/2019 19:42

we only have willies in my house (well, except for me but i keep mine put away) so that's easy