18 month old wont stop biting and pinching -please help!

[Apinchoftrouble]

Most of the time my daughter is a delight. She is sweet, clever (well as clever as an 18 month old can be!) and funny. But pretty much every time she gets frustrated her immediate go-to is to pinch or bite.

This is not a new thing, before she had turned one she was already biting and we were assured - by literally everyone - that she would grow out of it.

More than six months later she's still doing it and has added pinching to her repertoire.
Me and DP have tried literally everything: ignoring; focussing on giving attention to the victim of her agression (normally me or dp); consistently saying 'NO BITING/NO PINCHING' in a firm and slightly deep voice and more recently have brought about a naughty/'time to think' spot where she is put for 30 seconds immediately after she has been agressive - so she sees that there is some form of consequence (to ensure there's consistency we will do this even if we are out - I found myself doing it in an airport departure gate the other day).
Nothing seems to work. We keep trying to encourage her to learn more words with the hope that the sooner she talks and is able to express herself the sooner she will get less frustrated.

Has anyone else been through this? If so what worked for you?

Yup been there it would only be me that got bitten. Until she did it to my mum-Who then read her a book called kind hands by Maureen badu-or anything involving kind hands if you google it helped loads!soon grew out of it x

Thank you so much for the advice @GlitterSparkle85 as soon as I saw your suggestion I ordered the book and because I've reached a level of desperation I also ordered two other books which came up as 'you may also like...'

I feel like if finances allowed I'd be one bite and pinch away from ordering a super nanny style person too.

Have you noticed what she does just before this happens? What’s the behaviour pattern?

As you say it’s probably communication frustration, she’s getting attention from it and now it’s habitual.

Try watching her for a while playing with someone else and see what’s happening, you might notice something you can respond to before she feels the need to escalate.

Bless you @Apinchoftrouble I know the feeling!felt like I was doing something
wrong as she wouldn't do it to others!like @Herocomplex said it's out of frustration didn't like being told what to do!-Still doesnt Hope it helps you out xx

Thanks @Herocomplex yes, that's a good idea and would help give a bit of perspective. I think most of the time it comes after she hasn't got her own way. So an example is... yesterday she got hold of a pen and took the lid off. Obviously I took it away from here to stop a sharp pointy object ending up in her eye. To try and stop her from getting frustrated I immediately tried to distract her with a toy, but she couldn't believe how unfair the situation was and so first bit and then pinched me.
Then this morning she wanted to lift her little stool onto my DP's stomach and then sit on it(!). When we attempted to stop this happening (put the stool back on the floor) she bit my partner at the sheer injustice of not being able to carry out - what was in her eyes - a very reasonable seating request.
She occasionally bites out of excitement too.
The ridiculous thing is that just a minute before the stool incident this morning she was happily playing with us both and kept giving us hugs and kisses. She just gets so frustrated so quickly.

Ah thanks @GlitterSparkle85 while I'm sorry you have been through it too, it's quite comforting to hear that someone else has experienced it and come out of the other side!

I know what you mean about her targetting it towards you and no one else, I get it more than DP and she doesn't do it to other extended family members.

And yep, she definitely doesn't like to be told what to do. She could definitely be described as 'wilful'.

She sounds a bright little button.

Can I ask do you think she’s reacting to your physical interventions - taking the pen, moving the stool, with one of her own? Can you tell her to put down the pen or move the stool, then tell her you’re going to take it/move it? If she then intends to bite/pinch you’ve got a beat of time to fend it off with a firm ‘no’.

If it’s any comfort she sounds very curious and inventive, which brings with it some ‘transgressive’ behaviour!

Thanks @Herocomplex that's a really good observation. It can be hard to see the wood for the trees when you're in the middle of it. She definitely does it when there's no physical intervention too but maybe those instances stem from the initial physical intervention ones and she has just got into a biting/pinching cycle.

I will definitely try your suggested technique.

And yes, you've got her personality down to a tee - including the transgressive behaviour bit!

What is her spoken language like? It could just be that because she can't express herself verbally she is being physical. Maybe try alternatives instead of no but using praise eg 'Your chair loves being on the floor can you put it there quickly because you are so clever?' It seems over the top but if it works while she learns more language use then it's a benefit!

@stayingaliveisawayoflife that's a very good idea, I will definitely try that too. She is great at understanding language but when it comes to speaking I think she's getting frustrated that it's not developing as quickly as she would like.
She's got the important words sorted 'no' 'yes' 'ball' 'cat' 'woof woof' 'shoe' 'sock' and the most significant for her; 'cracker' but amusingly both me and DP aren't considered important enough for names - only her aunt and grandpa are

It sounds like you are doing all the right things. I too had a biter! She bit herself, me, her friend. They do eventually grow out of it. Now she is just a shouter!

Ah thanks @FanSpamTastic! It really is heartening to hear people say they've been through it too. I will prepare myself for the shouting to come!