I feel so rundown

[superman24]

Hi all.

I am a mother to a lovely 5 month old. During my birth at 33 weeks I suffered a placental abruption and lost 2.5 litres of blood. An MRI showed my son had grade 1 and grade 3 brain bleeds. After a week in the NICU, and a month overall sleeping in hospital, we went home. He is currently being monitored as he is considered high-ris, but overall he is very healthy.

My pregnancy had been unplanned and I had a toxic relationship with the father. We were on-off, but I decided to go ahead with the pregnancy, and He promised to help. Instead, he got addicted to drugs, drank and slept with another woman. There was a lot of fighting, and I suffered depression.
I am now no longer in contact with the father. I do a degree in child development but had not had much work or a driver's licence before the pregnancy. I have recently taken up three jobs (2 casual positions and an in home care job, which can be full time, part time or casual based on the familial needs), and about to get my licence while doing part-time study. I am trying to get money so I can a get a place of my own for my son and I. we currently live in the second storey of my parents house.

I just feel so hopeless though. I am so tired, rundown and feel so alone in all this. I can't turn to the father for any help as when I used to he would just yell at me and say I ruined his life. My parents help a lot, but I feel like a failure. In my work I see together families and I just feel I am not capable enough. I am trying so hard but it never seems like enough. I just want to sleep, and not get up but I know I have to for my son.

I don't know why I am posting this. Maybe just to get some reassurance or to hear of others in a dsimilar situation...

Wow, it sounds like you're doing an incredible job and being a fantastic mum. You went through all of that while pregnant and after giving birth, you're a single parent and you're now working 3 jobs to save up for a place of your own for you and your son? Perhaps you haven't been told enough how impressive that is. And I'm not surprised your parents are helping so much if they can see how hard you're trying to make things work. I'm not in a similar position so can't offer practical advice, but I hope someone will be along shortly who can help with that side of things.

I will ask however if there is any way for you to drop one of your jobs? Can you up the hours on one of your jobs so that you can lose one and you're not trying to go between three places? Or can you keep looking for a single job that has the hours you need? Doing 3 jobs with various hours sounds stressful in itself, so perhaps there is a set up that could work better for you? But I understand that it's easier said than done.

@honeyBee03 how lovely I dont think women support each other enough very quick to bitch but not to offer out a compliment.
I dont think Mums get told enough how
amazing they truly are.
You are amazing and you've done the very best for you and your baby its normal to feel down sometimes other thing new mums arent told-you do feel helpless lonely have anxiety BUT your Body has been through a truly wonderful thing to give you your baby it does and Will get easier for you as helpless as you feel you have a good support network with your parents who I'm sure wouldn't mind to watch your baby for few hours so you can do something for yourself!

3 jobs and a 5 month old - you must be superwomen and it’s no wonder you are exhausted. Is there anyway you can drop a job or hours even if it means leaving your parents later.

You are in a family by the way.

Did you get your iron levels rechecked around the time of your 6 week check? I lost 1.5 litres and I’m on my second course of iron tablets because my iron levels are still not back in the normal range.

You sound superhuman OP!

Op you honestly sound amazing. You've been dealt a rough deal there through no fault of your own but the way you have handled it is phenomenal. Things are hard now because you're still working hard to improve yourself and your situation but it sounds like yoire nearly there in a lot of ways. Once you've got your driving licence thatll give you a lot of independence and your degree when you've completed it will open more doors for you. Stick with it- you are the opposite of a failure !!

My hat is off to you - I think you sound amazing. I am still an emotional wreck 13 months on, with a present DH and our own house.

I think that you need to let something drop and make sure you are getting all the financial and emotional support you are entitled too.

Are you in any mum and baby clubs locally? Perhaps you could start a little babysitting group with some other mums to give you some downtime? Or even a chance to get together of an evening (with babies) at someone's home to have a much needed chat, laugh, glass of wine?

You're doing amazingly. Well done x

You sound as though you're doing an amazing job. I have a 7mo and have days just feeling exhausted never mind working 3 jobs on top of it. I know a few single mums with babies our age and I admire them so so much. It's normal to feel down and exhausted. I hope you can plan in a few hours of down time when he's sleeping and do something restorative like watch some TV with a wine or enjoy a book. Take care of yourself xx