Toddler strangeness - Is this normal??

[Tentoes21]

Hello MNs.
I posted a while ago and was grateful for replies but since then my DS, now 22 months, has changed quite a bit.

I’m beside myself with worry about autism. I’ve been telling myself I’m imagining it, and that his behaviour is normal for a toddler but it’s gettinf to a stage where I think I need to face up to it rather than risk sticking head in sand.

In short; I’m going to list what he does that is of concern to me.
Please, does anyone have experience of their toddlers doing the same - normal or unusual / autistic or NT?
Thank you!! List below x

Behaviours which worry me:
Occasionally walks on tiptoes
Very Occasionally spins around
Runs along when excited and flaps arms a bit
Repeats what I say, a lot
Repeats what he wants to say over and over (‘car on road. Car on road.’)
Lines up toys / trucks
Groups things (buttons, Tupperware, objects)
Gets iriate if I move something he’s arranged
Shouts ‘leave it there!’ If I tidy away some things he’s placed / was playing with
Always climbing things
Isn’t afraid of loud noises at all but is scared of background noises like neighbours through wall

Behaviours which reassure me:
Brilliant eye contact
Very sociable, takes hands of other children, follows them, laughs with them (however doesn’t share)
Laughs a lot and has SOH
Language very good
Points and engages etc
Understands everything I say
Follows instructions well
Does imaginary play
Will sit through a book over and over
Um...think that’s about it

Thanks all! Hope you can help xx

It's hard to tell from an internet post but it all sounds like normal toddler behaviour to me. Is there a reason that you're worried about autism like a family history?

Sounds like a normal toddler?
Occasionally sounds more like a toddler investigating/experimenting with movement. Repetition is normal for language development too

I have a 7 year old autistic but high functioning dd. If she is seated she will spin or circle her torso almost consistently. Flapping is very very regular too. Almost no sense of humour and can't follow jokes.
All been consistent since toddler age.

Is there a reason you are on alert for asd traits at such a young age?

I could've wrote this post hes almost exactly like my DS 2 years although your DS can say more than mine. Watching for answers. As we have family history of it too.

His language is very good at 22 months? I wouldn't worry - good luck xx

OK.

Behaviours which worry me:
Occasionally walks on tiptoes.
Very Occasionally spins around
Runs along when excited and flaps arms a bit
Repeats what I say, a lot
Repeats what he wants to say over and over (‘car on road. Car on road.’)
Lines up toys / trucks
Groups things (buttons, Tupperware, objects)

^these are within normal development range. Only you know your child though, and things like flapping.. Depends how, how often etc.

Always climbing things
REALLY NORMAL

Gets iriate if I move something he’s arranged
Shouts ‘leave it there!’ If I tidy away some things he’s placed / was playing with
Both my NT and aspie kids did this.

Isn’t afraid of loud noises at all but is scared of background noises like neighbours

Hard to tell at this age. Both of mine were terrified of the hand dryer. My NT one is scared of weird neighbour noise. My aspie is scared of scraping noises.

Your reassuring list is reassuring.

Most of what you've listed is totally neurotypical behavior. Sorting into groups is a developmental thing. Wanting to control that is just exerting independence

At 22 months, he sounds awesome. These symptoms wouldn't worry me at this point. I'd keep an eye on it, and seriously stop worrying.
I say this as an autistic person, with an NT kid and an HF autistic kid.

Hope this helps

Really, it's OK. Don't worry.

My children have done all these things and they're not autistic.

Your son is a perfectly typical 22 month old, with slightly advanced use of language e.g. three word sentences. Honestly, don't worry.

OP, I have twin autistic boys, aged 3

I’ll admit, I read your list of worries and thought “oh dear”. All of these were red flags for my two.

Then I read your list of things he does - my boys don’t do any of those, except for wanting the same book over and over (although I think this is an element of their ASD, they’re not good with change).

DT2 has just started pointing this week. DT1 can now sign “more”. Eye contact and smiles have improved over the last six months. Other than that they don’t do any of those things. They understand no words, say no words, interact with nobody but us and adults at nursery, not even each other.

So I wouldn’t be panicking. I’d be talking to your HV to ask for the two year assessment as soon as they can do it - might be from 22 months actually - and get their advice.

All normal, I’ve worked in nurseries and I wouldn’t be concerned about any of these

My 2yo used to love nothing more than endlessly grouping things together, sorting and making piles. I used to worry about it at the time. And I definitely remember her shouting the same phrases at me repeatedly!

She's 7 now, and definitely NT. I don't think you need to worry.

It all sounds completely normal to me. I know one of the traits of autism is grouping and lining things up but this us also a part of normal development as well.
Not wanting things out of place or moved could just be him controlling a situation, he likes where he has put things so doesn't want them moved - perfectly reasonable.

You are obviously concerned about this though but are you looking for traits that fit asd or have you noticed these things and suspected they could be signs of asd? Why are you so worried about it, is there family history or friends with lo with asd?

My DS is 22 months, and does all of the same things yours does, although is hit and miss with following instructions and hasn't quite cracked 3 word sentences. Neither we nor his nursery workers have any concerns about his development, he's bright as a button, very engaged and learning to be a very kind, loving little boy. So it's really hard to call based on what you've written. They could well be normal toddler behaviours, or there could be cause for concern, you could be seeing things, or drawing coincidences, because you're looking for them, it could be confirmation bias. But if your instincts are saying there is something wrong, then you won't be able to let go of that until you seek out some medical help. If you get him assessed and he's fine, hopefully it might help you relax a bit?

That seems completely normal. Especially getting pissed off when someone destroys something you’ve spent ages doing - who wouldn’t be?

all typical toddler behaviour, I have an almost 5 ds who is diagnosed autistic, and altho your worry list was similar to mine your reassurance list kind of evens it out.
don't stress about it at this age as children change and develop so much especially when so young.

Sounds totally normal to me. Is there a reason you're so paranoid about him being autistic? Are there other family members who have autism?

Thanks for your replies everyone. I’m so grateful to have feedback, bless mumsnet for being my virtual ‘village’!

Relieved to hear he seems normal to many of you.
I wouldn’t say I’m paranoid; just watchful and aiming to stay realistic.

My brother was diagnosed with Asbergers back in the 1980s. We never knew because my mum chose to take offence (?!?) and dismiss the diagnosis. He never got help for it. This makes my own antenna prick up because I don’t want to slip into the same ‘sweep it under carpet’ mentality

Which is why I’m grateful for your replies as my other main source of opinion is...my mother (no thanks)!

I’ll take a step back, and ask for the Hv assessment ASAP. That can’t hurt.
Fingers crossed. Thanks again

My brother was diagnosed with Asbergers back in the 1980s.

I didn’t think it was ever diagnosed in the 1980s, are you sure this is right?

A lot of behaviour associated with autistic traits is totally normal toddler behaviour which is only a indicator if it carries on in chuldhood, Like schemers.

I didn’t think it was ever diagnosed in the 1980s, are you sure this is right?

The op is quite possibly mixing up terms. High functioning autism was diagnosed back then (it was mostly known as autism with no IQ impairment at the time) but wouldn't have been called Asperger's until the 90's.

My DS did the lining up card thing constantly at around the same age plus was obsessed with sorting things into colour groups. We also had niggling worries about ASD.

Never came to anything and he is now coming up to 18 and completely fine, very bright and sociable with lots of friends and a lovely caring nature. Got great GCSES and shaping up to do well at A level.

I think you probably have nothing to worry about, but speak to GP or health visitor to put your mind at rest.

As PPs have said if you have any concerns then you must speak to your HV or your GP. MN is great but it isn't the place to ask for advice like this. Every kid is different and every parent is different. People who are properly qualified to make diagnosis have gone through lots and lots of training for a reason and even then they wouldn't dream of giving an opinion on a diagnoses based on a short post on MN.
Good luck with your lad.

Also, ASD diagnosis is very different now - decades ago mothers were thought to be the cause, and cold and unloving mothers caused autism in their children. I’m not surprised many mothers rejected this, to be honest.

I’ve not had a single suggestion from HCPs that my parenting is in any way related to my children’s disabilities - they can see I’m a very loving and caring parent who’s doing her best. I would be afraid too if doctors had told me I was to blame.

I agree with a PP - ASD is very complex and disparate and no two toddlers with ASD are the same, even my twins are completely different. You can’t diagnose based on snippets of information

However, for an ASD diagnosis you need the triad of impairments - social, communication and “rigidity” (lack of imaginative play, struggle with change etc). It doesn’t sound like your child would fit this from what you’ve written. However, it’s all very nuanced so definitely speak to your HV about the two year check which screens for these things. Obviously if it was always obvious then there wouldn’t be kids being diagnosed in primary, secondary or even adulthood.

Hello @Tentoes21 I hope you don't mind me asking, I'm just wondering how things are going a few years down the line for your little one, as I've had some similar concerns?