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Life is hard and then you die

2 replies

leaveitaloneforgodssake · 01/10/2019 21:43

...but you can't say that to a 6 year old who feels a sense of drudgery, can you?

DS told me tonight in tears that he feels sad because 'I have so many jobs and things to do and I don't get anything back, it isn't fair.' He has said similar things a couple of times before, but not with as much distress.

For context, DS is the eldest of 3 and in school time he is pretty busy. He has about 20-30 minutes of homework plus reading everyday. He also does piano, swimming and football after school - not all at the same time of course- all of which he chose to do and actually enjoys. Both DH and I work ft (DH mostly at home) so weekdays are pretty A-Z-bed; even weekends are often disrupted by someone's work. We have no family close by and rely on state childcare to fill the gaps.

Obviously I don't want him to feel like this, but what to do? Reasoning with him that objectively he has a good life with everything he needs obviously doesn't cut it. I have been thinking that since he is nearly 7 it would make sense for him to start having formal pocket money with a sliding reward system for good and exceptionally good behaviour. But at the same time I am wary of teaching him to expect payment for everyday things he should do anyway - like doing his home work/piano practice, tidying away his toys, eating vegetables etc? Plus I don't want him spending all his free time playing computer games and watching YouTube videos, which is what he would prefer to do, given the option. (He is already not allowed screens on school nights, and screen time at the weekend only in return for good behaviour and not nagging.)

So in brief, how can I help him feel more positive about the slog that is life? I sympathise now but sure I didn't feel like this at 6.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
youshouldbelessstrict · 01/10/2019 22:15

First off, I think you are being too strict on your child.
If I was in his position I would be thinking the same things.
I genuinely feel sorry for the kid, he is just 6. What else do you want him doing in his free time, revising?. I don't think this level of strictness is necessary.
As a child I did not have many restrictions yet I never got into trouble because I didn't want my parents to feel bad. My liking of my parents came because of their kindness to me (allowing me to watch YouTube and other normal things most kids are allowed to do).
Please set your child free, for his sake.

leaveitaloneforgodssake · 01/10/2019 22:39

Hmm..Actually though I don't think we are as strict as I seem to have given the impression...We don't expect him to do more work-type things than strictly necessary; once he's done his homework he's free to go and play, be it bashing around on the piano, making camps out of duvets and chairs or something else. He does also get to watch YouTube and stuff, but we control it because he's not capable yet of limiting himself and if he watches too much it really affects his behaviour for the worse (ie when it's time to stop watching). It's particularly difficult to deal with during the week when we are so busy, hence the total weektime ban. Perhaps you were just a naturally well-behaved and easy-going child!

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