Adult diagnosis of Aspergers

[Notopel]

Has anyone had an adult diagnosis of Aspergers/ASD while their child was going through the assessment process?

DS (7) has had problems at school and nursery for years now and is slowly pursuing an ASD assessment. Only issue is that he never exhibits any of these behaviours at home. I’ve always wondered to what extent I contribute, but never thought I could be Autistic despite always struggling socially. Today, my counsellor suggested that I exhibit strong symptoms of Aspergers especially in relation to right behaviour and following rules.

I’ve always managed okay and achieved well academically, but worried now that parenting could be having an effect on DS.

Has anyone else had a similar experience with adult diagnosis?

Not a parent of a child with ASD though friends with a few.

It seems to me that often difficulties appear at school and not at home because we naturally adapt our parenting to suit our child. So if our child doesn't like noisy places, we just avoid them, whereas at school they can't avoid the dinner hall or music drumming lessons.

Similarly we might learn that our child can't switch quickly from one activity to another, so we don't plan lots for one day, and if we need to switch we give lots of warning.

I have a child with dyspraxia and she struggles with black and white thinking. We naturally gave her very clear rules at home which worked well. But she has struggled at work where people are often 'flexible' at following company procedures!

So it might well be that you are naturally parenting your child the way that is best for him, so it isn't a negative at all. Whether or not that is due to you yourself having Autism I obviously can't say.

When my DS started high school they immediately suggested we get him assessed for autism. As soon as we began the whole process I started to recognise that I had loads of the same traits, so I asked my GP if I could also be assessed, and sure enough, we're both on the spectrum.

I've actually found it really useful to have been diagnosed too since it means I 'get' DS a lot more as I understand many of his issues, and we have a brilliant relationship and we joke with each other over various autistic aspects of each other (in a nice way, obviously)...