Am I lazy?

[jessmumto3]

Soo.. I'm a stay at home mum, I have twins that are 7 months and a 7 year old, I need people's opinion on weather they think I'm being lazy as my partner has called me this a few times the last few months, hes currently just come back from being on my brother stag do for 4 days the whole time he was away I was really ill with tonsillitis and I'm just getting over it. Yesterday I did my normal routine of.. breakfast, school run, cleaning, washing, lunch, washing away, playing with the girls, school run, homework, dinner, clean, bath, bed. And obviously playing with the kids in between when I get 5 minutes. This happens ever week day, and it's all I manage to do. So my partner expects a clean home washing done and dinner on the table because he works full time which I think to some standard is expectable. But lately like last night I cooked meatballs and pasta for dinner but he didn't come home until 10 o'clock so the dinner was in the oven for him, however about 10 minutes before he came home I made myself a cup of tea and sat on the sofa the girls had been hard work yesterday and were very clingy because of teething, he come in took the dinner out the oven said " is that really what you've cooked me for dinner" my reply was yes we all had that for dinner, he then continue to call me lazy he said the flat was "dirty"!because I haven't taken my cup to the kitchen yet, I didn't cook him a proper meal, and I was lazy because all I do is sit on the sofa all day. And then said I'm not coping being a mum.. I just got up and said if your not happy with what I cooked you can cook for yourself from now on and my flat is fine thanks and went to bed. Ive spoken to my family and friends and my family are very very outspoken and would be the first people to tell me is my flat was dirty or I was being lazy or I wasn't coping, but I generally want others opinion would think I was lazy?

Hello fellow twin mum! God knows mums and anything but lazy. It's bad enough with one child taking your attention, but with three (and small twins!), I'm genuinely surprised every day that I manage to get some housework or washing done. Children are so time-consuming, and are definitely the ultimate priority. Does your DP ever spend time alone with your DC? It took that for my husband to realise just how busy days are just looking after the twins, so anything else that gets done around the house is a bonus. I try and give myself one or two small tasks a day (hoover or bleach the toilets)... whatever it is so I feel like I'm achieving something every day, and the house keeps ticking over. Please stay positive - you're doing an amazing job xx

Ohh another twin mummy!! Thank you for your reply!! No he doesn't spend any time with them what's so ever! Even if I go to the shop I have to take one because he can't managed two, said he's worried due to these being his first. He generally thinks all I do all day is sit on the sofa now don't get me wrong there's day I would love to but I can't!! Maybe I should just leave him along with the kids for a day and see if it changes his opinion. Thank you means a lot xx

You're going to have to give him a taste of his own judgement. Set up 5+ consecutive days where he has your role and then he'll soon shut up about 'lazy'. And don't forget to chip in the way he does, ie, 'the food isn't good enough', 'the house isn't clean enough' etc

I am a lazy mum, and I only have one toddler. you sound like super woman. your partner is not worthy.

I don't think your question should be Am I Lazy but Is my husband an Arsehole ...

Being a mum is a full time 24/7 job without being paid and no day off. So you are an awesome mother. Well done x

Your partner sounds like an absolute prick.

My husband works long hours in a stressful job. I work very part time, almost a SAHM, have one 2 year old DD who goes to preschool 2 mornings a week.

Before he even goes to work he unloads the dishwasher, makes me a hot drink In bed and puts a wash on. Then I get up and have a usual day with DD, housework etc when I can. Dinner is what I make - usually something similar to you! He would never, ever complain or question what I have done in the day - he understands how full on and relentless it can be with a small child - and we only have the one!

You are far from lazy, but he sounds like a pretty useless dad - making you take one to the shop?! Honestly, he is an embarrassment to decent men.

That would really hurt me and I'd find that hard to forgive. You aren't lazy, you made him food. It's not your fault he wanted to take a shitty mood out on you. I'm glad you stood up for yourself.
I'd not be making him tea anymore tbh.

OP you don't sound lazy in the slightest, your partner is deluded! I have twins too, it's very hard work at that age. Plus you have an older one in school. Your partner should try doing what you do for a day.

Where was he til 10?

THIS...

I don't think your question should be Am I Lazy but Is my husband an Arsehole ...

you are doing far more than most by the sound of it. You need to give yourself a break too with 2 x 7m olds!

I would be a drooling mess coping with all of those demands.

Give him a tin of spaghetti hoops and a pan for dinner tonight and treat yourself to a takeaway.

Do not let him wear you down mentally and doubt yourself. It is a slippery slope into hell.

It's time that he stepped up or pissed off.

The thought of the effort involved in keeping two babies fed clean and entertained every day is enough to make me need a sit down, without the older DC to sort out too. I can't imagine how a man who can't manage the two of them for a few minutes has the gall to tell you you are lazy! He sounds like an arse!

Not at all. He sounds lazy for not bothering to get home at a reasonable time, not helping at all with the children or the house and then cheek of moaning at what you have done.

Meatballs and pasta is a perfectly acceptable dinner.

You are the complete opposite of lazy.

How dare he. If my DH even so much as implied that I’d be out the door checking into a hotel for a week and leaving him to it. And I only have one child

Working full time is a piece of piss compared to looking after 3 children. He clearly has no respect for you and I’d be rethinking the relationship.

Please don’t put up with this.