Will lack of socialization with my child affect his life in future?

[Ben119]

Hi, sorry if this is a bit awkward.

My first child was born in August and I try to be with him as much as possible. However, work normally keeps me busy and I don't come home until very late. While my child is still young, I don't know if it matters much, but as he gets older (and if this cycle of working late continues) will lack of socialization between me and him affect him, for instance he may develop anti-social behaviour? I'm unsure about all this. Thank you whoever can reply.

So your child is 1 to 2 months old? Who looks after him/her while you're at work? Is it possible for you and/or your partner to work part time for a while?

What childcare is your child getting? Nanny? Childminder? Father? Other family? If your baby is well looked after and cared for then the most likely result is lack of attachment to you, but if there is someone else the child can attach to (dad for example) then it might not affect your child in terms of future relationships and behaviour. You can mitigate this by the time you spend with your child at weekends. He/she may not be that close to you, and only you can decide if that’s what you want.

This may be a daft question OP so apologies if I’m wrong here but are you the dad?

I see now that you're probably the dad, and the mum is probably on maternity leave. No, why would your child end up anti-social? What matters is that he is bonding with someone (probably his mum?). But it could affect his bonding with you. Any chance of sharing the maternity leave with the mum?

Or after maternity leave, you could maybe both work part-time?

I worked a lot when my children were little (still do) and we have a great relationship. I focus on quality not quantity when it comes to spending time with them.

I’d make sure that when you are home, you are consistent with your wife in terms of parenting. Don’t indulge out of guilt; mixed messages are disruptive to children.

I’m sure your child will be OK - there are plenty of children who never see their dads who are. It’d be good if you aim to spend some quality 1:1 time when you are there at the weekend - an hour or so would be alright. Take care of yourself in terms of sleep and nutrition, as physical discomfort can make people snappy and irritable; you don’t want to risk regularly losing your temper with a DC who rarely sees you.

Incidentally when I say ‘an hour or so’ I mean - of proper listening, shared activity. No mobile; invested in your child. Obviously there will be many hours when you are generally together, or doing things as a family!

Thank you all for your suggestions, I'll take everything into account.

My husband doesn’t see our children much in the week due to work and commute and he often has to work away. The children are 9m and 2.4 and they absolutely adore him.

When he is here he is very hands on, does feeding, changing and plays with them. He is a great dad and really makes the most of his time with them so I would say as long as you are present when you are there and spend as much time as you can with your baby they will not suffer from you working.

I would think it matters much more now than later. Bonding early on is important and it's now considered that the first three years are the most critical in child development.