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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

As a first time parent would you...

17 replies

4cheekymonkey · 27/09/2019 18:50

Let an 8 year and a 6 year old hold your newborn with help??
I have 4dc so I feel my thinking might not be realistic and can't remember how I felt with first child but was definitely protective but I think sil and bil were a bit over the top not letting ds hold their baby.
They are very boisterous kids and I wasn't there so perhaps they felt dad wasn't so on top of things if anything. I don't know

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Bucatini · 27/09/2019 18:53

Literally a newborn? Like a few days old? If so it's completely normal for them to be a bit over protective!

Justmuddlingalong · 27/09/2019 18:54

A sibling, yes. Because that's my choice. A cousin, no. Because that's their choice.

CacenCrunch · 27/09/2019 18:54

Yes as long as they are sitting down, maybe support head with a cushion and supervise. It's absolutely fine

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Russell19 · 27/09/2019 19:06

I had it forced on me from the parents of a 4 and 2 year old and was not impressed. I know yours are older but nobody has the right to hold anyones newborn. If they don't want your kids to hold then surely that's fine? Nothing for you to be annoyed about.

Original poster

4cheekymonkey · 27/09/2019 20:08

Of course they have the right and choice nobody is planning on taking them to court over it just wondered how other first time parents would feel if an 8 year old asked to hold your baby. I would have definitely let them hold my 4th baby but wouldn't comit to saying the same about my 1st

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Justmuddlingalong · 27/09/2019 20:11

😁 at boisterous.

PushkinTheCat · 27/09/2019 20:14

I let a four year old hold my newborn, and my DSIL has let her friend’s two year old hold hers. But it depends on the child, the parents (ie willingness to supervise) and the newborn in question!

katmarie · 27/09/2019 20:15

I let my 7 and 4 year old nephews hold my ds at 3 weeks old, under lots of supervision from my mum, their gran. They were good as gold and incredibly gentle with him, it was a lovely moment. But I wouldn't ever say a new mum has to accept anyone holding her child if shes not comfortable with it. At that age, mum (and dad) get the final say, and I think you have to respect that.

Teddybear45 · 27/09/2019 20:17

Definite to the 6 yo whether it’s my first kid or 4th! I would consider it for a well behaved 8 yo but probably not for one described as ‘boisterous’ by their own mum!

Teddybear45 · 27/09/2019 20:17

*Definite no to

TrainspottingWelsh · 27/09/2019 20:18

I let friends dc. Some were accustomed to baby siblings, others needed to have it carefully explained to them first. And of course under careful supervision. Both friend and I have a lovely photo of her dd at almost 6yrs old holding a 24hr old dd. With her mum kneeling in front of them carefully cropped out!

Surfskatefamily · 27/09/2019 20:19

As a first time parent no, I didnt let my nephews hold my baby when he was little. They weren't that bothered... Dont tell them they can without checking with the parents and they won't expect it.
I got them tickling my baby's toes and pulling funny faces... They loved that instead

Kaddm · 27/09/2019 20:21

Hmmm probably not. My niece was born when mine were 6&8.

Mine are a lot older now and I remember being very very nervous when my 6yo dd held her newborn cousin. I got my dd on the sofa, talked to her about being careful and then put my niece on her. I still had my hand on baby niece to avoid an accident and stayed right next to them watching all the time. I would not have been offended if SiL or DB had not wanted my two to hold the baby. My 8yo was actually nervous himself and very careful indeed. Neither begged to hold the baby, I’d told them that it was up to SIL who held niece and they must wait for her invitation to do so. New mums face a barrage of hormones and people thinking it’s their right to hold the baby. It’s not. It is completely up to the mum particularly, more than the dad because it’s the mum who has the hormones raging and the mum that’s liable to get anxiety and pnd.
Plus primary kids are germ factories.

Clangus00 · 27/09/2019 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Luxembourgmama · 27/09/2019 22:19

No way

mindutopia · 27/09/2019 23:54

Probably not no, but I wouldn’t have let random family members hold my 2nd one either. Maybe at a few months old but not early on. My dd who was 6 barely did either.

Original poster

4cheekymonkey · 28/09/2019 07:51

Thanks for all the replies. They are boisterous with each but others but completely agree that it's difficult to think they can be gentle when they are seen to wrestle all the time. Their little brother only turned 1 so they do know how to handle babies but again it's different with they aren't yours.

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