Hoping someone will help...

[booklover164]

My 13mo is pushing my marriage to its absolute brink. We are finding it incredibly hard and I just don't know what to do.

The biggest problem is sleep.

He was sleeping 7-5 for about 4 months solid but then we went on holiday and it's just never got back on track.

He has one morning nap at 9 ( he's definitely not ready to drop this at all!) of about 45-60 mins then an afternoon nap of about 90 mins. He's generally up no later than 3pm.

We put him to bed at 7 and he spends at least 30 mins, if not longer, absolutely screaming the place down. It's not hunger, nappy, teeth etc as extra milk, new nappy and calpol don't make the slightest bit of difference.

He will then go to sleep for about an hour and wake up screaming. It's then very hard to settle him and when he does go back to sleep, he then wakes at 1 for a feed and sometimes spends hours and hours in the night awake. Usually screaming. I am back to work now and really struggling to know what to do with him. My husband and I are constantly arguing and finding it incredibly stressful.

I really really need some help. Are sleep consultants worth the massive pay out? Am I missing something entirely? I hate seeing him so upset and I am struggle to enjoy motherhood and life generally at the moment. Hope someone can help...

Can you try transitioning him to one longer nap in the middle of the day? So if he went down around 10/11 and slept for 2-3 hours, then he has longer to get sleepy in the afternoon before bedtime. What time does he wake up in the morning?

I'd try pushing the morning nap later, to around 11am and letting him sleep longer and see if you can transition to one longer nap.

DD did this at a similar age.

Agree with PP that he's probably ready for one nap rather than two. My DS went to one at about 14mo.

You might need to bring bedtime a bit earlier while he's transitioning.

Thanks everyone so much for your advice. My main concern is that he wakes at 5am pretty much every day and it's already a struggle to get him to stay awake until 9/9.30 for his morning nap. Anyone been in this situation before? Really appreciate your help :)

I chopped that first nap down to 30 minutes max (sometimes it was even less depending on if we needed to go out) and brought the afternoon one forward. Until recently he's been sleeping 11am-1pm pretty much every day. Took a couple of weeks to get him into the routine I think.