Ungrateful Sister

[CharlieGolf13]

Hi. I’m 34, I have a 10 yr old DD & a 6 yr old DS. I’ve been with DH 17 yrs (9 yrs married). I had PND after DD was born - I couldn’t cope. MIL took care of her at hers most weekends, for DDs 1st 2-9 months. It wasn’t quite so bad when I had PND after DS was born, & MIL doesn’t show as much interest in him as she did DD. I’ve suffered with my mental health ever since my 1st bout of PND - been on-and-off pills since. My MIL used to live really close, and is now a 30+ minute drive away - no matter where she’s lived, she has my kids for a few hours/overnight, once every few months (if we’re lucky). My DH and I both work full-time, 5 days a week.
That’s my story.
Now, for the reason for my post.
My eldest sister. She’s 41. She has 2 DS (6 and 3). Near enough every time we speak, she’s complaining that she’s having a hard time - I know that being a parent most definitely isn’t easy. What REALLY grates is, the fact that she complains so much, yet I know full well that she has SO much help from our family and her DHs family (she lives 5 houses from our family, and a 5 min drive from her DHs). Her husband works shifts (6-2 or 2-10), she works Mon-Wed (4.5hrs 2 days, 8 hrs 1 day). When her DH is on an early, she has a family member take her 6yr old to school and 3 yr old to daycare, then pick them up - on her workdays. She’ll pick them up from theirs whenever she likes - usually LONG after she’s finished work. And on her days off, she’ll regularly turn up at my parents with her boys, and sit reading a paper/watching tv, while my family run around after her boys. On top of that, she’ll get a family member (usually 1 of ours) to take her boys (on hers and her DHs day off) so they can have “some alone time”. And every year, they pretty much dump their kids on my parents (his won’t have them overnight) so they can have a weekend away for their wedding anniversary.
Am I being unreasonable being so peeved off by her?

Maybe she has PND too?

She has got anxiety - mostly driving related. But, she and I are pretty close, and tell each other everything, and she’s never mentioned any depression since becoming a mum.

I feel sorry for your parents. Seems like they do a lot more childcare than people probably in their 60's or older should really have to do - for both of you. YABU for being aggrieved that they don't have yours as often as your sisters' tbh. You being pissed off with your sister for complaining even though she has so much help just sounds like sour grapes and like you're jealous that your parents don't help you as much. You should both think yourselves lucky that you have any help from family at all, as a lot of people don't.

I am aware of how lucky I am that my MIL has anything to do with my DD and DS. Especially as my whole family live 70+miles away, so, my MIL is the only way I get to have any kind of a break (other than work). I MAY be a bit jealous of how involved our parents are in her 2 DS’s lives. But mostly, I’m just annoyed at how she treats our parents (1 being 66 and the other 67). My sister - who lives with my parents - tells me that she very rarely thanks them for their help. Which I believe to be rather rude. My sister (the 1 WITH kids) treats them all like free childcare - and has been known to throw quite the tantrum, if they can’t have them, at the drop of a hat - I’ve witnessed a few of them.