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19 month old feeding getting worse-help!

11 replies

charley39 · 25/09/2019 13:35

Sorry in advance for the long post!

Just at my wits end with feeding my 19month old and looking for any advice or tips from other people in similar situations.

DS has never been a great eater in my opinion and has found the transition from purées to solids extremely difficult. He was weaned using jars and pouches and I realise this may be some of the problem in regards to him now not chewing any food and disliking lumps. Around 8-10months he was able to start holding finger size foods in his hands and eating them etc but around 11months we had an incident when he put too much food in his mouth and ended up nearly choking. Since this he has been reluctant to put anything in his mouth himself and started to make himself sick on purpose with dinners so we took him back to more smoother purées and have been gradually introducing more lumps since. In between 11months and 15months he had started to gradually make progress and he would eat more solid meals I.e fish fingers and mash. The past few months however he has now gone backwards again and I’m now at the stage where he is reluctant to try anything either himself or me putting it in his mouth. If I give him food to just play and explore with it just ends up on the floor etc. He has no interest in food and could happily go hungry if he was left to it. The final straw has been today when we decided to give lunch out a go which we haven’t done for a few weeks as it’s never overly successful but past few weeks he has been eating little bits of bread and butter or showing more interest in food off of my plate etc. He started spitting the food out and gagging right from the off and even refused bread and butter which yesterday he was more than happy to eat so he’s now had no lunch and I’ve been reduced to tears. All of my friends baby’s eat anything and everything and so the advice they give I find to be quite patronising and it’s a case of just give him bits to try or let him go hungry and then when he is hungry enough he will have to eat and feed himself. I feel like I have tried to encourage him as much as possible but just feel so alone in this. He is just starting nursery this week aswell and yesterday threw up the first mouthful of lunch they gave him which I wasn’t at all surprised at but I feel like I need to crack the eating so he can be left at nursery and me not worry about him not eating. I know he’s not going to starve if he misses one lunch once a week but I would be happier if he had eaten obviously.

Any advice from anyone in a similar situation would be greatly appreciated!

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MrsG2017 · 25/09/2019 20:04

Hi

Sorry I can't offer much advice I just wanted to message you to say I am sorry you feel frustrated like this ... me too!

From one mummy who's 2 year old won't eat - to another I hear you!!!!

Xxx

charley39 · 25/09/2019 20:46

@MrsG2017 glad to know I’m not alone so thank you!

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MrsG2017 · 25/09/2019 20:58

I posted something similar have a look at it as a few people have responded too

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FTMF30 · 25/09/2019 21:34

Have you tried eating stuff in front of him and not offering him any? If I want my DS to try something I'll sit and casually eat it right in front of him. It might take a couple of times but the end result is that he'll grab some to try for himself. After that, he'll happily eat it if I put it out specifically for him.

charley39 · 25/09/2019 21:38

@FTMF30 We always eat in front of him and don’t always offer food etc. Depending on his mood he will occasionally indicate he wants some and then will happily eat it. This is normally with things like bread if I’m eating a sandwich. Occasionally he will keep indicating he wants some of what I’m eating but then as soon as he puts it in his mouth it gets spat out.

He is super observant with what he is being fed or what food looks like which is where I think the reluctance to try comes from. He can look at something on his plate and has decided he already doesn’t like it before he has even attempted to eat it.

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FTMF30 · 29/09/2019 07:20

Hmmm I'm sorry I dint have any other suggestion to be honest.

I have actually posted something similar about my 15 month old nof eating at nursery, but he does est at home. Have you tried some type of reward chart (sorry if its a crap idea)?

One thing I would say is try not to worry about his lack of eating at nursery, most people worry about their child not eating/sleeping st nursery, but after a few weeks, they fall in line. Being around their peers massively helps. In the meantime, I think persistence on your end helps. I know it's easier said than done, but hang in there.

saywhatwhatnow · 29/09/2019 07:35

Sounds super stressful but you will get there.

Does he still have milk/breastfeed? And what sort of foods would you attempt to feed him on a normal day.

I think it sounds like you are all very worked up so may be useful really going back to weaning basics.

Clangus00 · 29/09/2019 07:41

Have you spoken to his health visitor?

MustardScreams · 29/09/2019 07:46

Gagging is really normal when babies learn to eat, the difference is red and loud (ie gagging, coughing etc) let them sort themselves out. Blue and silent they need you to intervene. It’s worth knowing for the future in case it happens again.

As a pp said I would go right back to basics. Play with food rather than having it as a meal, let him explore textures and flavours outside of conventional eating times, let him play with food outside of a high chair/wherever you usually eat (stick a blanket on the floor etc) It may relax him a bit more so that there isn’t a fear around food.

charley39 · 29/09/2019 07:58

Thank you all for your responses. Some really useful ideas! He has annoyingly caught another cold I think from teething again and I’m now thinking this could be why we had a bad few days as he has done this in the past.

We sat him at the big table yesterday let him just sit like a big boy which he loved of course. We were eating lunch and he actually was asking for food from our plates which we gave. It was only a couple of bite sized chunks but was pleased he had gestured to have it.

At nursery on Friday I asked them just to put the meal in front of him as finger food and see what he does and of course he didn’t touch any of it but he had made progress in the fact he sat at the table nicely throughout the meal time whereas on Tuesday he had wanted to keep getting up apparently so again I’m hoping in time that as he learns routine this will help and he may even start to try some food.

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saywhatwhatnow · 29/09/2019 11:12

That's really good. I would offer the food as you now are with no fuss, no helping or cajoling. A few varied choices and then let him explore sat at a table with others who are eating. The gagging is a normal developmental stage and he has to learn to move the food around in his mouth and swallow effectively. Silent choking is different and HV can probably refer you onto a paediatric first aid course which may make you feel more at ease with knowing the difference and what to do. I know it's hard when you just want your child to eat but try to stay relaxed with it all. They can be super fussy as standard at this age anyway, mine will love something one week and then look at us like we're trying to poison him the next time we serve it. Well done!

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