2 year old son keeps hitting other children at playgroup

[sammiejm88]

Hello

We recently moved to a new area and new home and I take
My son to play groups which he loves but he doesn't get on with other children and he hits them and has really bad tantrums when they come near him or play with the toys too I do tell
Him
And I take him away from
The situation and apologise to the parent I can't do anything else in the past I've met judgemental mothers which doesn't help or make me feel
Any better no one been rude at this group but I'm
Worried they will if my son behaviour continues and he only just turned 2 he still
Doesn't understand I don't know what else I can do other then stay at home which I don't want to do otherwise he will
Never learn any helpful non judgmental advice please

Can you introduce some role play at home? With a dolly/ teddy bear/ any soft toys with sharing things round and taking in turns to roll a dice/ push the car etc.

Do you use firm voice and make eye contact with FIRM 'NO' when he does something wrong?

Do you ask him to say sorry?

i found the only thing which helped with my son was to follow him round and stop him before he had the chance to hurt others. followed by a firm no hiting is not nice

does he socialise much with kids outside of play groups?

I'm afraid at this age it is exhausting but you have to bring your parenting A-game all the time in these group situations. Stay close to him, watch him constantly so you can prevent any hitting. If he does hit or go to hit, snatch or whatever you can step in immediately. Tell him no firmly and if he does it again move him, if he keeps doing it sit at the side for a few minutes, if he does it again, leave. Warn him every time that you're going to do it. Praise him OTT when he plays nicely.

It's hard, my DS took a LOT of this type of parenting but at 2 they are beginning to understand very simple consequences and their language is such that they can follow what you're saying. DS is 3.5 now and absolutely brilliant, particularly in groups.

They do get there but some kids need a lot more intervention at this stage than others. My DN never really went through this type of behaviour but has needed more 'on the ball' parenting at other stages.

You are going to have to helicopter him while he is playing even if you have to position yourself between other children he is 2 and still learning if he hits say no and make a fuss of the other child, try and I know it is hard not to let other mums bother you keep taking your toddler to groups but maybe leave if you feel he has had enough and go back next week and start again.

Fwiw the usual age for kids playing together is 3 so he is still learning.

You will need to supervise him constantly, stay within arms length and prevent him from attacking others. If you can’t control his violent behaviour then you may need to keep him at home until he matures a bit.

he doesn't get on with other children
Is it really appropriate for him to be in a group environment then?

My DS went through a phase where I couldn't turn my back for a second or he'd hit or snatch something from another child (at about 2.5). You really have to just monitor very closely and stop him before he hits/snatches if possible. I would just remove him from the situation tell him firmly and deal with the meltdown. They do learn eventually and DS is so much better now at 3.5. Still have to remind him about sharing occasionally but no more than his average peer. I think it gets better when they can fully communicate their feelings and frustrations!

I think keeping him away is terrible advice children don't learn to enjoy socialising at home a lot of toddlers go through this stage the op son isn't rare,

This was me and DS well still is but we're a million times better.

I just had to hover over him at all times, say no and remove him.
It took a long time probably 6months at least but now I can leave him be and he mostly won't get into trouble.

There's still instances but it's part of the age they are.

Don't isolate him as you need the teaching experience. As long as parents can see you intervening it's not an issue it's when you do nothing they get annoyed

Keep going to groups, don’t isolate yourself. I never judge parents of children that hit etc as long as they are supervising and intervening immediately. All kids go through phases of not great behaviour.

Firstly. This is normal. Dont panic. Dont stay at home.....for your own sanity as much as anything else. Make it clear you dont like that behaviour and it will have consequences (hard at his age). But for mine hitting was a firm "no. We dont not hit that's was unkind. You sit on the naughty stop mummy is angry" make a fuss of other child and then after 2 mins say to your child "you dont not hit. If you hit u will come back to this naughty spot" get him to say sorry and then start playing with him like it didnt happen. If he does it again repeat. If he gets off the naughty spot then I would put him back and say "u stay here until I say. If u get off again you will go in your buggy/car seat/room (anywhere he is safe but cant get out). When he gets older he will stop. Ignore anyone who judges. Some children are naturally more timid. If people have one timid child they might not be able to relate but there will be more folk that can relate so dont stress about being judged. Also if the naughty spot is going to be a battle take him out and use any corner away from view.

Sometimes another mum can be useful. My friends DS was like this. I stepped in fierce look and a firm no. He backed down then watched me like a hawk to see if I was watching him which I was. Sometimes mum is not listened to as others are.

My DS went through this phase too. I found that the only thing that worked was to give him ONE warning, and then if he hit again I would take him straight home. You say he loves the playgroup so maybe worth a try.

Does he get his own way at home? Not having to share etc? Agree with pp- role play at home or ensure he shares where possible

My son went through a biting phase. You HAVE to helicopter over him to protect the other children. The second he even goes near them to hurt them - pick him up, turn him/move him away from the other child/the fun, be very firm, "NO. Hitting HURTS!" and so on. For as long as it takes. If he does it again, as a pp said, you just take him straight home, away from the situation.

Thank you everyone for your advice much appreciated I will try the things you have said I do tell him
Firmly and remove him from
Situation but just isn't sinking at the
Moment in regards not having him
In a group environment in order for him to learn I will
Keep taking him because keeping him at home he won't get to interact with others