Tips please on enjoying family life!

[AverageHuman]

So my 6yo says she doesn’t want to grow up and be like me :-( I know parenting is hard but my kids are very good and I want to start chilling out and enjoying life rather than just surviving. My kids are no longer toddlers and I want more than just this constant worry about keeping them safe and telling them what not to do.
I’m really hoping some chilled out mums that enjoy parenting and don’t constantly worry can tell me what to do!!! I know it’s normal in this age we live in but I desperately want to be different for my kids’s sake.. I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks in the past, I don’t want that for them..

Op they’re just ideas.
Take from it what you need to and ignore it if it’s rubbish to you.
No one is saying that children’s development will be stunted because their parents prefer soft play to the outdoors because it doesn’t, but being outdoors does have many benefits.
It’s important that you and your family do things that you all enjoy as a family, that includes you.

I’ve seen the link shared on Facebook a few times, I read it the first time thank you :-)

What I’m really looking for ways we can all enjoy this phase as a family as be more relaxed and connected as we already do things separately and the kids have plenty of independent time.

For me personally some fun is important and is probably lacking. I’m really needing support with that rather than any guidance about what makes a happy childhood as I have extensive information on that.

I wrote that in a rush and I realised it reads more harsh than I meant it to be! Sorry!

I don't really understand what you are after.

You can do more or less anything as a family. But I doubt there are many families where all members enjoy doing exactly the same things, so being part of the family involves a bit of give and take.

If you are saying none of your family have shared interests, which means that no-one is prepared to give family outings a go, I don't really know what to suggest.

No that’s not what I’m asking. That’s ok, I had some helpful suggestions above already thanks.

*What I’m really looking for ways we can all enjoy this phase as a family as be more relaxed and connected as we already do things separately and the kids have plenty of independent time.

For me personally some fun is important and is probably lacking. I’m really needing support with that rather than any guidance about what makes a happy childhood as I have extensive information on that.*

Just revisiting this thread. I posted further up. I feel like I'm roughly on the same line of thinking as you. Just HOW do you do it? I'm stuck on this same thing op.

Youngest has just woken up crying...I'll be back to this thread later

Hey HandH. Tell me more about your challenges...?

I know my mum struggled (still does) with children over the age of 2 years so what comes naturally to others may be harder if you didn’t get much connection from your own parents at that age.

Honestly I don’t know the answer but this is what I’m now trying..

• Worry less about what you are not getting right, enjoy being in the moment and having fun. I enjoy ball games in the garden, tickling the child who loves that, loads of kisses for the child who loves that. Anything that you get lost in with your kids and stops you thinking of anything else. Don’t just do things that prob look good on social media but you actually find stressful. We do enjoy painting and make potato print wrapping paper, but other mums might hate it. If so then kids do painting at school anyway so don’t beat yourself up.

• Stop following so much parenting advice on Facebook (I haven’t quite parted with all yet haha!!). Personally I think it’s more damaging to kids mental health that you are stressed and putting yourself down than you are not getting everything ‘right’.. so I’m trying..

• Avoid parents who are highly strung, judgy or competitive, and spend time with ones who are relaxed and supportive (but also good parents obvs!). Or just be alone if not!! One of my favourite people fosters special needs kids and is just naturally chilled and brilliant with kids.

• Ideally get a hobby or see friends but that’s hard if childcare is a prob (my dh is away a lot). Make sure you take a bubble bath, read a book etc.

• Film night is a good one, find a film you all like and snuggle. Ours is Star Wars with hot choc and popcorn. Used to love Julia Donaldson before that.

• Try to worry less about ‘dangers’ (I’m struggling with this big time). Instead, help children to do things safely and tell them what to do if they got in trouble. After I got advice on here I let the kids help with dinner. They chose the veg for soup and I showed them how to safely peel and cut (soft stuff!). They were so so happy and I was too :-)

• Find outings you all enjoy (there might only be like one thing!!). I realised we spend loads of time either doing stuff the kids like, or stuff we have to drag them to. Our family happy places are museums, caves, and theatre with hubby, or the beach if me and kids (dh is more a city type!).

Alternatively if you need help having fun with toddlers I’m all over that, we had loads of fun when they were really little and I hardly worried at all hahaha!

HandH I saw your earlier post.. if you have anywhere that does improv classes near you I recommend it for your inner child!

I also yesterday booked a holiday for us all.. and a concert with a friend to look forward to.