FTM - going out alone with newborn advice

[Pastaalldaylong]

Baby is 2 weeks old and I EBF. I'm keen to try going for walks etc on my own in preparation for when my husband goes back to work. However, I worry about a few (silly) things...

If I go for a walk with the pram and baby starts crying or wants feeding, do you just stop mid walk on the street to feed?! Or leave baby crying until you get home which could be a while?

What if I'm in the middle of the shops/supermarket and this happens?

Also if this happens in the car.

Thanks!

Wear loose fitting jumpers and tops, or buy (secondhand) nursing clothes to wear on top of your nursing bras to make access easy. Take muslins if you want that added layer of privacy (I never bothered, dds head covered almost all of my boob)

Really for all your situations the way i did it was the same, use voice to try and shush/soothe until located a safe and convenient location to stop and get her out eg on a walk a bench or once next to a fence because it was shaded, in the supermarket in the cafe and in the car the next service station. I got quite adept at changing dd nappy in her pram so i didnt have to find change stations as well

The hardest one is the car because you have to drive for what feels like forever sometimes to find that safe spce. Never stop on a hard shoulder - that is for emergencies only and you should be out of your vehicle with the engine off.

Honestly it is fine and it probably feels daunting but just remember babies only cry to let you know they need something- they dont really know how long it has been since they started crying (although you do) so as soon as that need is addressed they will be back to themselves. :)

I found it easier to go out on foot or by public transport, as it’s quicker to find somewhere to stop and feed. And it’s very hard to pay full attention to the road when you’ve got a screaming baby in the back.

So I’d suggest picking a trip on foot. Having a think about possible places to stop (benches, cafes, library etc) if needed. Feed before you leave. Aim for a nice cafe, have a sit down with tea and cake, and if you need to feed again you’ll be in a good place. Head home.

Then build up to longer trips. Maybe to a friend’s house? You need somewhere to aim for where you’re happy to feed and can change a nappy.

You play it by ear, and different people do different things, but I never left a baby crying in the pram unless it was that tired quiet almost falling asleep grizzle for maximum of two minutes.

My dc1 hated lying flat in a pram or cot (it turned out she had reflux) so I often found myself carrying her and pushing the pram at first (she was happy as soon as I held her upright). For very short walks she was happier with the car seat attachment but of course newborns shouldn't be in the car seat for long. Mostly I ended up carrying her. Once she was a little bit older (luckily she was a big full term baby) I used the travel system pushchair almost but not quite flat, with a little upright incline, and she was happier.

My dc2 lived in a wrap style sling with dc1 and luggage using the big buggy. He virtually never cried, I think due to the proximity to my heartbeat like in the womb, and I breastfed in the sling.

Feed your baby just before you go out and you shouldn't have to stop to feed on a simple walk, but yes if your baby is doing their hungry cry find a suitable place to breastfeed (as in somewhere you can sit comfortably and tuck the pram out of the way of passers by). For nappy changing you'll get to know what your baby needs - I minded a little girl who's nappy I had to change immediately, even by the roadside in the pram, because she had incredibly sensitive skin. Most babies can wait til you get to somewhere with a changing table, though obviously that might mean changing route or cutting your walk short.

Good luck - just do what seems natural and respond to your baby, but obviously finding safe places to stop etc :) You'll be fine. You do have to adjust your habits a bit - its not realistic to expect to be spending hours shopping with a baby. Who'd want one of those zombie babies so used to spending their days strapped into a buggy with a dummy in and glazed eyes being pushed around shopping centers without any interaction and not crawling around and playing and interacting? Walks are good though :)

You will probably find baby gives the crying up pretty easily as they love the pram, mine both loved it more than the car. Movement and fresh air get them to sleep like a treat so don't panic about having to stop to feed. If you're feeding on demand it is more likely that if anything a wet bum will make them fussier and you can do that in the pram no problem. Just feed before you go and start with walking round your local area. Then you can see if it is an issue and walk home quick if so. Once you have the confidence from that you can go anywhere and feed when you arrive at your destination. Even if baby seems desperate to feed it's going to be for comfort more than that they're starving. Bottle fed babies don't have a bottle mid walk, you'll be fine :)

I didnt even think of needing to change her mid walk! but I have a travel mat and so can do that in the pram then.
And yes to she might well stay sleep in the pram actually - everytime weve taken her for a stroll in the pram shes slept right through it!

Thanks all - will brave an alone walk soon!

Feed and change before you go. Into pram and off you go.

A sling is good too, I used to take one on the bottom of the pram so I could carry him if he kicked off but still have two hands to push the pram.

DS had many an alfresco nappy change in the early days (actually he still does on occasion!).

Just don't do what I did in the early days.

Was in the car, DS started crying for a feed. Found a safe spot. Got in the back to feed as there was more room. All finished, settled back into car seat and discovered that the child locks were on the rear doors and I couldn't get out! Had also locked the windows so that they couldn't be operated from the rear so couldn't open the door through the window.

Ended up having to crawl over the central console thing to get back into the driver's seat. Not ideal only a few weeks after having given birth

Small trips walk in the pram, walk to local shop for a pint of milk, etc. Just change, feed, in the pram and go. If they do start crying inconsolably then just come home.

For a longer trip, if baby needs feeding then find somewhere to do it. I'd aim for a cafe and a coffee, but a bench is perfectly acceptable.

Car journeys are harder, but just find a safe place to stop. And feed in the car. I stored a book/magazine in the car for these moments. Drive-thrus are fab!

You just find a comfortable place to feed her. Ideally, time your walks so she won't be hungry (go right after a feed) and don't plan to go for hours. Assuming the weather is decent (not raining or cold and windy), you just find a quiet place to sit and feed her if she's hungry. A park bench or a tree stump or pop in to a cafe. If you are out at the shops, just go sit in your car or in a cafe or find a bench. It's easier when the weather is nice, but I found it required a bit more planning when I couldn't just sit in a quiet part of the park because it was cold or raining. Same with changing. You can change them outside in an out of the way place when the weather is nice, but usually it will do no harm to wait 15 minutes until you walk home. Or if you are out in town, go into your local library or chain coffee shop as they will have changing facilities.

It seems daunting at first. I remember the first time I drove with my eldest in the car. I was terrified. But it will soon be very routine and not a big deal at all.

Why not plan a short walk to get your confidence? Feed & change baby before you go. Babies do love the pram and will go longer without feeding while being pushed and will likely have a good nap too! Once you are comfortable with short trips plan a longer walk with a baby friendly cafe to feed at the half way point. Once you’ve done a couple of feeds / changes while out & about you won’t give it a second thought, but it is very daunting at first. It also gets easier as the months go by and they need feeding and changing less often.