Anyone spent ages deciding whether to have another child and then tried and failed?

[afreshstart1]

I spent ages deciding to have another.. wrote lists of pros and cons.. wrote more lists .. spoke to dh, spoke to other people, visualised how my life might change.. then finally plucked up the courage to go for it and luckily became pregnant .. followed by a horrible miscarriage at 8 weeks

Not sure I can put myself through that again and I was already worrying as I'm an older mum and there will be a big age gap.

I feel like fate has made the decision and I should just be grateful for what I've got but it's still hard to close that door

Anyone else?

Hopeful bump

Yes. I already had two with a 22 month age gap and had initially decided to stop there but once ds2 went to school we started thinking about another. We decided we would give it a try and conceived immediately (twins). Unfortunately I m/c at 13 weeks. I got pregnant quite quickly again and m/c at 7 weeks. Then we tried for 18 months with no success and I decided it was time to move on (I was almost 42) so I applied for a new job. I suddenly realised on the day of my interview that my period was late and a test confirmed I was pregnant. I accepted the job without saying anything as I expected to m/c again. However ds3 arrived safely.

Thanks for sharing @VividImagination

Glad it all worked out for you in the end!

In a similar boat to you @afreshstart1. I have one DS who is 3.5. Ummmed and ahhhed for ages about whether to have another while all my friends had their seconds with neat 2 year age gaps. Earlier this year we finally decided to go for it and i fell pregnant quickly. It ended with a TFMR in July. The whole thing was very traumatic and now I feel like the universe is just telling me to stick at one. But then I think well all the reasons we decided to try again in the first place are still there.

So no advice really, just empathy!

@DinoGreen sorry to hear about your experience

It's so hard isn't it