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The baby to toddler transition.. I'm struggling

3 replies

Kiki92 · 22/09/2019 09:47

DS (16 months) has always been a pretty laid-back baby. All of a sudden though he seems to have morphed into a difficult toddler and I find myself becoming increasingly frustrated.

Gone are the good night's sleeps. Last night he woke at 2am, groaning and screeching, still partially asleep. The only thing that would settle him was a bottle of milk, something which he's not needed at night for months and months. This happened again on and off until 5am. He ended up in my bed and eventually slept.

He's becoming picky with his foods too. He's basically uninterested unless he's eating raspberries, toast, pasta, or curries. Everything else gets thrown across the room.

He's also making me increasingly anxious when out and about. Yesterday we went out to lunch with mum. He was fine throughout the meal, but he caused the most unholy scene when it was time to go back into the pushchair. I gave him the option to walk, but that caused a similar response. There was screaming and he threw himself to the floor. I tried to comfort him. I tried my best, but my heart was breaking at his tearful face. People were also staring. It was awful. These kind of tatrums happen a lot.

I know this is normal. I knew to expect tatrums. I knew he'd start testing the boundaries soon.. But I feel like I don't know how to handle these situations and it's making me feel like a bad mum.

I have support from my own mum who watches him two days a week so that I can work. I'm a single parent though, so I don't really have anyone else to lean on. I need to get a grip and find ways to cope..

I don't really know what I'm asking in this post. General advice perhaps? Someone to tell me that it won't always be this difficult? Please be kind...

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
charley39 · 22/09/2019 11:11

In a fairly situation to you however I have always found my DS (19months) to be highly strung and a handful behaviour wise. When we’re out and about I find it the hardest with everyone staring and the unhelpful comments from passer bys. When I’m out and he kicks off I try my best to take him out of the situation and to somewhere quiet to calm him down but this isn’t always an option. When I’m at home and he has a tantrum I now just ignore him and leave him to lay on the floor or somewhere where he is safe and can’t hurt himself and I walk away ignoring the behaviour. I used to try and talk to calm him down but have found this to just prolong the tantrum and behaviour but by ignoring him he soon gets over it and moves on. At this age they are still too young to be put in time out or fully understand.

As for the nighttime situation we have just fingers crossed come out of a sleep regression so could possibly be a phase? at this time they are going through huge changes developmentally etc.

I don’t think I’ve been very helpful but thought I would try! Smile

Bellsofstclements · 22/09/2019 12:34

They just have all these feelings (usually about stupid things like a breadstick) and can't express them. We refer to my 19mo as hulk as he just rages sometimes. I spend a lot of time trying not to laugh at this furious little lad being so annoyed by something (always seems to happen when he's got no clothes on which really adds to the situation). Ignoring him and removing him from the situation helps as does keeping to a rough schedule, making sure he has plenty of snacks and water and a decent nap every day. If we eat out I always have a massive lunchbox of food for him and we only go if he's had a sleep beforehand otherwise I'd just end up outside with the hulk.

As for the sleep, think you just have to hang on in there. You sound like a lovely mum, just keep going.

BaaBaaBS · 22/09/2019 12:39

I've a 15 month old.. lucky for us we never got good night's sleeps.. Grin so not really any different now. There's a good app called 'the wonder weeks' which explains all the things they're trying to process and how the world can be a frustrating place when you can't communicate.
I think all toddlers freak out when you're trying to make them do something they don't want to do: ie get in the pram/carseat/high chair, eat dinner, change nappy etc.
My main tool for this (learnt from my mum as she minded a ton of kids and all of us)... is distraction! A screaming toddler in the pram if given something unusual to hold/ play with will settle long enough to get strapped in etc.

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