How to get toddler into car seat

[kaiotes]

I have a 22 mo. Girl. She has been a pita. I have a sedan and currently have to get her in from the passenger side then put her in to the car seat than directly from outside. At times she just refuses. I have had to wait for ONE HR At times then usually I just force her in. I am exhausted and sometimes don't have the energy to force her in early in. I have tried bribing her w snacks/candy. Doesn't always work. Effectiveness has worsened. I have her stuffed animals in the car. I don't know man..... She'd climb around in the car while I sit in the rear. Passenger seat w her. I need. Some help. Should I just force it every time she learns. I used to hate. To see her tears but due to my exhaustion from having to raise her (got laundry list of other. Complaints) I need to get this figured out first!
If she doesn't want to get in car. I will have to limit our car trips this means she will stay home all the time :)
Thanks

Ooh that sounds exhausting. Have you tried making it into a game (let's put teddy in the special seat) or a race (let's see how fast you can get into the special seat)?

I just put my toddler in the car seat and if he sits still whilst I fasten the straps great if not I hold him in the seat and fasten them anyway. I don’t give him a choice.

How is her understanding? I used to try distraction with DS at that age, so as we got to the car I'd ask him a question like 'what toy are you going to play with when we get to X place?' or 'Do you think we'll see any exciting vehicles on the way. I think we'll see a tractor!' just so his thinking was directed to something other than being strapped in.

Oh that sounds exhausting. How long has it been like that? I have a little one the same age, he occasionally protests but once the straps are on he's totally fine. I usually find it's if I haven't explained what's happening or where we're going. Giving him the car key and making it his job to unlock the door etc usually is enough distraction to keep him happy until he's clipped in.

How is she once she's strapped in- does she settle quite quickly or does she hate travelling in the seat too? I'm guessing you've checked the fit is fine and she's comfy in it. Are you rear facing still or forward? Does she get car sick? It sounds really tough.

She likes to play w my car keys my phone etc. I used to have issue w her during the ride. It's much better. I sometimes have to give her my right hand to hold onto while I am driving to calm her down. It's probably been 2 mo since I had to bring her in from the other passenger side. Tried candy reward for maybe 3-4 weeks. She gets in w no struggle instantly when day care gives her their candy crap. So unfair. I am thinking of doing the force til she learns it's part of life. I am tired of all the time that I have wasted.

I think she is smart enough where she won't be fooled by a game. She doesn't speak too many words I think she knows what I am trying to do. I dun think she wants to always cooperate and probably just hates the seat But recently she wanted to do the top buckle herself so I let her .

I mean it in the nicest possible way, you have to take control or your daughter she is going to learn how to walk all over you as she grows up.

You cannot seriously think it’s ok to drive with one hand?

How do you get a squirming, screaming, back arching toddler in a car seat? You pick them up, plonk them in the seat, you wrestle them into position and get the straps on. Yes you may have to force them into position, they don’t want to be restrained. It’s a toddlers worst nightmare, they have to sit in it for their safety and you can try and remind them of this. They won’t understand though but over time it may sink in.

I wouldn’t reward bad behaviour, I would praise them if they do it without a fuss.

Soon they will realise they have to sit in a car seat and will go in of their own volition, but until then you have to take control.

Meanwhile please know we have all been there, had to listen to them scream blue murder, almost put our backs out and feel like we’ve been wrestling a small bear each time we’ve put our toddlers in the car.

That's my attitude at the point. I am sick of this B's. Too exhausted. It was more if u get in I give u candy.....

I used to plonk mine in the car seat, they hated it and would arch their back so I would place an open hand on their tummies until they were properly restrained. All the time calmly reassuring that this was to keep them safe and if they couldn't sit nicely we had to stay home.

I wouldn't negotiate this nor would I spend an hour trying to do so, it was my rule, it had a purpose and they needed to comply. Harsh perhaps but this was not a battle they could win on, other battles I would concede on, just not this one x

You have to cut the bribes immediately. You cannot let her learn that if she kicks off she will get rewarded. Just as @Fucket says to need to put her in the seat and close the door. It will not be easy to begin with but if you are unemotional about it then it will become easier over time. She's at the age now where she is really starting to learn behaviour traits so it's important that you crack this now.

Bribery. Shall we have some milk/snack or whatever when we are in the car? Bribe needs to be offered before you get to the car and she remembers that she refuses to get in the car seat.

Will she climb in herself? My little boy went through a stage of not wanting to be put in the carseat but wanting to climb in himself after he saw his big cousin getting to climb in. We call it his special seat, best seat in the car etc. If I'm not in a rush I let him climb in and have a play in the car and then sit down with his book or whatever but if I need to be somewhere I pick him up and shove him in! He's 2 and it's absolutely non negotiable.

My definition of bribe is if u get in without me forcing you in I give you candy. She rarely gets in without the candy. I give candy after she gets in obviously.

Landlubber. How long did you have to do this?

Personally I don’t like giving sweets (I guess you are in the US) to children for doing what they should be doing anyway. It’s not healthy, it’s not good for their teeth and too much of it will make them fat. It also sets up an expectation that they will get sweets each time they get in the car.

A bit of praise, a high five or getting to listen to their nursery rhymes on the way home Is much better imo.

Gentle pressure from knee on stomach whilst you do up the straps, you have to ignore years sometimes otherwise you will raise a hellcat!

Either make it into a game (‘oooh who can get in the car first?!’ distraction ‘dd! Is that a big fluffy doggy I see??’ whilst strapping her in. Or if that doesn’t work, the pick up and stuff.

She has to be strapped in. It’s non-negotiable. She has to learn that sometimes you have to do stuff you don’t want. If I only did stuff my toddler wanted to we’d go out with no clothes on and only eat biscuits.

Also please stop driving with one hand, it’s incredibly dangerous.

I sometimes have to give her my right hand to hold onto while I am driving

You don't have to, you're choosing to and it's really dangerous. Pandering to her isn't found either of you any favours and her behaviour will get worse.
Why do you have to go in through the passenger side? Because she told you to? No. Use the side which makes it easier for you. Shove her in and restrain until you can get the straps on. Give her a cuddly toy and some praise. Get in the car and stray driving, talking about the exciting place you're going to and what you'll do there.

I don't remember how long it lasted , it could have been weeks, even months. It lasted until they realised resistance was futile

I agree with op, cut the bribes you are perpetuating her behaviour..... Don't be weak, be calm, take control, be emotionless but you need to show her she isn't in charge!

Is your child being given sweets every time you go on a car journey? Bad idea.

What about when she starts expecting sweets for getting dressed? And then for having her shoes on. And then for getting out of bed. Before you know it you'll be feeding her sweets like there's no tomorrow and she will be extremely unhealthy and your behaviour problem will have escalated x1000.

I tried everything with my toddler, in the end I found a trick. As soon as put toddler in seat I use my arm to hold him in place, I use my forearm across his tummy firmly. Then a Houdini stop on his seatbelt to keep him in.

My daughter is a lot younger, but she used to scream blue murder going into hey infant carrier car seat. When she moved to a size, we got one of the ones that spins and a) it's much easier and b) she loves it. It's an expensive outlay if it doesn't work, but it would be much easier for you to force her in.

I've just forced my DS in on (regular) occasion. Arm across tummy and grab the straps with the other hand.