Concerned Godmother

[happy97]

I am Godmother to my friends 3 children, aged 9,7 and 2. I adore them and see them a lot. They see me as a Mother figure and love spending time with me.

The issue I have is I'm not entirely comfortable with the way the eldest 2 (in particular the eldest) are being parented. They are always called names (idiot, twat, stupid, ignorant, cretin), told to shut up regularly and there is zero patience from their parents, especially their Mum. I know that it's none of my business but I can see how unhappy it's making the eldest (A). She's a typical 9 year old and I know she pushes boundaries, but all children do to an extent.

Mum has been prescribed AD but won't take them. I can see how stressed she is but I feel like it is starting to impact on her relationship with the children.

I'm prepared to be told to keep my nose out but I do love them all.

If a child is ignorant then who is to blame for that? No, these are not normal words to use with your dc. Is it the mum who is your friend? Can you talk to her?
Is there any advice on the nspcc website on what to do if you are concerned about a child? Ive never done it but I know people can report to SS - the bad names plus the untreated mental health issue might be enough for them to monitor the family situation.

@Standingatthedoor I've tried to talk to her and to her husband. I really don't want to go down the SS route. I love them all but just feel this is borderline abusive. There is so much shouting and screaming at them it just makes me feel so uncomfortable, but when I try and comfort the children I feel as if I'm undermining their authority.

I'm a teacher and I don't think it's borderline, I think it is abuse.
Go down whatever route helps the children.

I agree. It’s abuse.

It’s abuse. You need to protect these children

This happens when she is displeased with the children's behaviour, so not 24/7. Bit because her tolerance is so low they seem to do no right and are just shouted at and called names. I know she's under a huge amount of pressure and loves them enormously. I have tried to persuade her to try the anti depressants but she won't.

I don't know how to fix it without making it worse.

You can’t fix it without professional help. Abuse rarely happens 24/7.

You are allowing those children to grow up think, and to become adults who think they are all the names they are called.