Does anyone else’s DM criticise their parenting?

[BlueMoon1103]

Me and my DM have always been really close but since my DS was born I feel like things have changed. She criticises little things I do with him, like tonight I was winding him after his bedtime bottle and she said I should stop as he’d fallen asleep and winding him might wake him up. I’ve told her before that if I don’t wind him he wakes up in the night anyway from having not burped but every time she watches me put him to bed she criticises me for winding him. She also finds reasons to point out I’m doing something wrong like DS isn’t wearing socks or he’s sat on the floor not on a mat etc. little things that shouldn’t bother me but really so. It makes me really sad as we were both really looking forward to DS being born while I was pregnant and I want her to be proud of me (pathetic as that is)
Is this normal? What should I say to all the little things she complains about? :(

I had this with my mother and my MIL with my first and had it until he was about 2.5 and I lost my shit with both of them on the same day and they learnt to wind their neck in but I wish I had said earlier to them and maybe I wouldn't have cracked.

I basically told them both he was my child and if I didn't ask for their advice it was because I didn't want it and to stop nagging at me.

If I had not put up with it for 2.5 years I may have said that a lot nicer, so my advice is to tell her that you are going to parent the way you want to and when you need advice she will be the first person you will come to but that she is causing you stress right now by not supporting you.

If she doesn't respect that well then maybe you have to learn to bite back, some mothers have a really hard time acknowledging their children are now fully functioning adults and if we don't do things the same way they did then we are undermining them. I wonder if your GM ever did the same to her and how it made her feel.

All the time!! My mum lives with us so it’s literally no escape. My DS is now 19 months and I have come to blows with her on a few occasions but she now uses the tactic of telling my DH what to be doing(who listens to everything she says) and I get the message passed onto me that way. I also feel that if I suggested something she would never agree but a couple of days/weeks later she would suggest the same thing but suddenly it was the correct thing because she was the one suggesting it

Anyway all I can say is just try to keep control and know that you are doing a great job and 9/10 mother instinct kicks in and you know what’s best for your baby your with them 24/7.